- SUVs, you ever heard of 'em?
The S stands for sport
'cause they're really good at carrying hockey sticks.
But also because they're fast as heck.
Today, we're gonna look at how ridiculously insanely fast
(engine revving)
sport utility vehicles have gotten.
So strap on your five-point racing harnesses,
all you kiddos in that third row.
I'm James, this is the newly sentient monolist,
and this show is called "The D-List."
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Okay, so just like the trucks video that we did,
this is not gonna be a list
of every single SUV ever made, all right?
We're gonna skip a few.
But to appreciate how outrageous SUV's have become,
we gotta take a trip back to the 1980s.
In 1984, Jeep released the XJ Cherokee.
It had a unibody instead of a body-on-frame construction,
like most family haulers at the time.
And because of this,
SUV historians consider it to be the first
modern sport utility vehicle.
It wasn't even known for being fast.
In fact it's slow.
But I gotta put it on the model list as a benchmark.
It has zero to 60 time of
(punching sounds)
10.2 Seconds.
But guess what, guys?
This isn't the last time
you're gonna see a Jeep Cherokee on this list, okay?
Now a year after Jeep released the XJ,
Lamborghini machine.
Yes, the tractor company that also makes supercars,
gave the world a weird SUV truck
tank car called the LM002, AKA the Rambo Lambo.
It was designed for the US military,
but they never secured the contract.
Always secure the contract.
That's business 101.
They ditched the original engine meant for the military
and swapped in the same V12 from the Countach.
Saddam Hussein's son had one,
and it was blown up by American troops.
But if it didn't blow up,
it would have gone zero to 60 in 7.7 seconds.
Not fast,
but fast, considering it weighs 6,000 pounds.
Now the LM002 was probably the most ridiculous SUV
to come out of the eighties.
But, the nineties were about to get (mumbling) baby.
By this point, a lot more car makers were making SUVs
and they were beginning to drizzle some sweet,
sweet horse milk all over 'em.
So, let's talk about what Mitsubishi was doing.
Mitsubishi made an SUV called the Montero,
except in Japan, it was called the Pajero.
Pajero?
And they decided to take their Pajero?
Racing at Dakar.
That's the race, not the club.
Which meant that they had to sell a road legal version,
for homologation.
The Pajero Evolution.
It was a two-door four wheel drive,
Evo SUV with box fenders and fins on the fricking roof.
This is one of my favorite vehicles of all times.
It's absolutely bonkers ass.
The six G74 got it up to 60 in 8.2 seconds.
It's fast, when you consider
that it was designed to drive on sand dunes.
Have you ever even tried to walk up a sand dune?
It's hard.
This next one is one of my favorites on the whole list.
The Dodge Durango SP360.
This was the last collaboration Carol Shelby had with Dodge.
It's a first-generation Durango.
I.e. the one that looks like a kangaroo's head.
It's got a 5.9 liter Magnum V8
and a supercharger spitting out 360 herspers.
Hence the name 360.
Only 300 of them were ever made.
The zero to 60 time for this big old kangaroo head,
is six points (laughs)
(screams) 6.7 seconds.
Now another Chrysler brand that used
that same 5.9 liter Magnum V8 was,
Jeep in the 1998 Jeep Grand Cherokee, AKA the ZJ.
People who drive these limited edition ZJs are diehard fans,
and they get scooped up really quickly
whenever they go on sale.
It didn't have a supercharger,
but still put down a respectable,
6.8 seconds, zero to 60 times.
But don't worry.
This isn't the last Jeep you'll see on this list.
Now Saleen.
Saleen, is known for fooling around on them old Mustangs.
But what a lot of people don't know is that they also made
a souped up Ford Explorer in the nineties called the XP8.
It had a body kit, carbon fiber hood, Recaro seats.
And most importantly, for this list,
a super charged five-liter V8.
A super charged five-liter V8.
♪ A super charged five-liter V8 ♪
XP8 can scoot from zero to 60 in,
6.7 seconds.
Three seconds faster
than a stock Explorer of the same generation.
Now the XP8 was fast,
but even though it came at the end of the nineties,
it wasn't even the fastest SUV of that decade.
Now, that honor of course goes to,
the GMC Typhoon.
The coolest car named after a wave.
This SUV version of the Cyclone with an S
blew people away when it came out in the early nineties.
It wasn't quite as fast as the Cyclone because
it weighed a couple hundred pounds more,
but it could still get up to 60 in 5.3 seconds.
That's in 1992.
That's fast as heck.
Hit that like button if you think that's fast as heck.
Okay, we're done with the nineties.
We're in the 2000s.
Cars were getting faster
and a lot of those performance enhancing technologies
started trickling down or up,
depending on how you look at it,
into the fastly growing SUV market.
This, ladies and gentlemen is when things
start to get insane.
Mercedes got the decade started off with the ML55 AMG,
which went from zero to 60 in, 6.5 seconds.
Then Infiniti came out of nowhere with the FX45,
which could do zero to 60 in, 6.3 Seconds.
On 20 inch wheels, standard.
This is the 350Z of SUV's.
Then BMW is like,
"Hold my beer in a boot."
And they dropped the X5 4.8is.
Zero to 60 in a very German six seconds flat.
And I would like to point out that the Typhoon,
is still on the top of the list,
just like his brother, cousin,
the Cyclone with an S.
But it wouldn't hold the throne for very long
because in 2006,
this thing came out.
The PP car Cayenne turbo S.
Porsche gave the world a twin turbo V8, Cayenne,
that went zero to 60, in an absolutely,
whopping for the time, five seconds.
A full second faster than anything that BMW
was making at the time,
and kicking the Typhoon
off of the wave throne,
and saying, "You know what?
I know this used to be a wave kingdom.
But now it's a pepper kingdom."
And I think that this is a good time to mention
that while SUVs are getting faster,
they're also getting more luxurious.
And that means more expensive.
The Cayenne Turbo S, costs $112,000.
Back in America, our friends over at GM
were putting together a more budget friendly SUV.
An SUV that I like to call the Chevy Trailblazer SS.
I've talked about the Chevy Trailblazer SS,
a bunch on this show.
And for good reason, all right?
This guy got an LS2 making almost 400 horsepower.
And that was good enough to send it to 60 in,
5.6 seconds.
It's a half second slower than the Porsche, but,
it's also $75,000 cheaper.
Now it would be irresponsible of me
to not mention the 2006 Grand Cherokee SRT8.
The 6.1 liter Hemi made 420 (mumbles) horsepower,
and sending this bad boy to 60 miles per hour
in a suburb shattering, 4.8 Seconds.
And I'm gonna let you guys in on a little secret.
This is not the last Jeep Cherokee on this list.
Audi also entered the SUV ring in the 2000s.
And by far their weirdest and coolest one yet
was the V12, diesel powered Q7.
It made 500 horsepower, and 738 foot pounds of torque.
And to show everyone how cool it was,
Audi towed a fricking jet with it.
(container clattering)
Without the jet and went from zero to 60 in 5.5 seconds.
But you know what?
Mercedes was sick of not being
the fastest SUV on the model list, okay?
They called me and they're like, "What do we need to do?"
I was like, "You need to be, you need to beat Jeeps."
So what did they do about it?
They did the AMG ML63 about it, okay?
AMG tuned the 6.3 liter V8 to 500 herspers.
This thing is the ultimate sleeper
and it can scoot to 60 in 4.5 seconds.
"Dear Jeep Grand Cherokee,
I know you're not the last Cherokee on this list,
but for now F you," that's what they said.
They literally, that was the press release.
The last fast SUV from the first decade of the 2000s
is made by a tuning company called Gemballa.
They made all those crazy wide body
BMWs and Porsches in the eighties,
and they also made a custom six series
for Saddam Hussein's son.
I just did a podcast about Saddam Hussein's son's cars.
So that's where a lot of my references are at.
So in 2009, they decided to mess with PP cars again.
And they released the Tornado 750 GTS.
Huh, sounds familiar.
Kinda like your brother, the Cyclone within S.
This thing is a sickening looking Porsche Cayenne Turbo
with stats cranked to the max.
Gemballa stripped 550 pounds from the stock Cayenne
and bumped the horsepower up to 750.
This resulted in a zero to 60 time of,
4.3 Seconds.
So now we're in the 2010s,
and things are about to get fricking stupid, okay?
We're starting to see zero to 60 times from trucks and SUV's
that are similar to the supercar times
from the early nineties.
The Range Rover Sport Supercharged,
or as I like to call it the, RR SS,
put down a respectful zero to 60 time, of 4.6 seconds.
Not bad, not record-breaking, but D's.
Porsche messed around with the Cayenne a little bit,
and got it down to 4.3 seconds.
Think that's fast?
You can call that fast?
Well, German tuning house called G-Power,
put their hands on BMW X5M in 2012,
and upped it to 730 herspers,
resulting in a zero to 60 time of,
4.2 seconds, that's faster.
And it's called the Typhoon.
Sound familiar?
Why are fast SUVs named after tornadoes and big waves?
And pepper?
(rock music)
Enter a new competitor,
with a simultaneously funny and terrifying name,
the Bowler Nemesis.
And that's also what I call my (indistinct)
Just like the Pajero we talked about earlier,
it was made for Dakar.
And it's supercharged five-liter V8 sends it to see,
sends it to 60, in 3.9 seconds.
Ladies and gentlemen,
we have officially entered the threes.
Why?
I don't know.
Maybe Connor needs to get to lacrosse practice faster.
Why?
And we're gonna stay in the threes.
Because the Audi RS Q8,
we gave one of these away with Omaze a while back.
I got to drive it, and it was fun.
You know why it was fun?
'Cause it does zero to 60 in 3.8 seconds.
I don't know why.
But that wasn't good enough, okay?
Because these German dudes at a tunic somebody called ABT,
legendary Volkswagen tuner.
Audis or Volkswagen.
They were like, "That's not fast enough.
It also does not have enough letters."
So they created the ABT RS Q8 R,
which can go zero to 60,
I don't know, 3.4 seconds.
Why not, let's do it.
And speaking of ostentatious German tuners,
you ever heard of Brabus?
Yes, of course, you have.
Brabus has a version of the Mercedes G Wagon,
a car that has no business going fast at all.
It is a shoe box.
They call it the Brabus 900 Rocket Edition G63.
And for only $680,000,
you can bump your G Wagon up to 900 horsepower.
And you get a little red spoiler too.
This thing can go zero to 60, in 3.7 seconds.
Hmm, it doesn't seem worth it.
I mean, at this point,
literally everyone is making fast SUVs.
I'm talking, Maserati Levante Trofeo, 3.5 seconds.
Jaguar F-Pace SVR, 3.7 seconds.
Some of you aren't gonna like this one, but,
I have to include the Mustang Mach-E Performance Edition.
This electric pony SUV is easily,
the most controversial entry onto this list.
But, you can't fight numbers, dude,
because it goes zero to 60 in a very dece, 3.5 Seconds.
Oh yeah, you knew this was coming
'cause I freaking told you.
It's a frickin, Hellcat powered, Jeep Grand Cherokee.
Why not?
Why, no, why not?
How fast is it?
Zero to 60, 3.5 seconds.
But, this isn't the last Jeep you're gonna see on this list.
It's also not the last Hellcat,
because the next car is the Dodge SRT Hellcat Durango.
(engine revving)
Basically a scarier more muscular version of the Track Hawk.
And it goes zero to 60 in,
an absolutely pointless 3.4 seconds.
What are you gonna freaking go to Home Depot so fast for?
And we're still not done.
Alfa Romeo Stelvio Quadrifoglio.
No, it's not just the pasta.
3.2 seconds.
What?
Big bags busing outta Bentley Bentleyagas, 3.1 seconds.
Why?
Now speaking of cars that Cardi B owns,
Lamborghini machine Urus.
The four-liter twin turbo V8 propels this bull up to 60 in,
I don't know, numbers aren't real, three seconds flat.
I don't, why?
Now this is the last SUV we have in three-second range.
So put on your helmet,
'cause things are about to get kooky.
'Cause you know what comes after three.
Two.
The first SUV to break into the two-second tier,
is the 2020 Tesla Model X P90D,
with a 2.7 seconds zero to 60 time.
I've driven one of these, it's other worldly.
Tesla says that the new Model X Plaid Edition,
will do 2.5 seconds,
but until Elon can actually prove it,
staying 2.7.
Although, the Model S Plaid
is now like the fastest car in the world.
So, what's the point of even doing any of this anymore?
Who cares?
Now, our next fastest SUV
is made by a Bay Area tuning shop called KarTunz,
with a K and a Z.
Now they took a boring old Lamborghini Urus
and added about 100 more horsepower,
resulting in a zero to 60 time of 2.7 seconds,
tying the Model S but I'm gonna say,
"Hey, shake your hand 'cause it makes grumbled noises."
Now guys,
if you saw the truck episode, you knew this was coming.
There's something that we gotta talk about.
And that thing is not only my favorite drink,
but a company that makes very fast cars.
I'm talking Hennessy.
Hennessy offers a few,
ridiculously fast SUVS.
They got a Suburban, they got a Tahoe,
they got a Yukon, they got a Durango,
they got a 600 horsepower Lincoln Navigator.
They even have an SUV version of the rapture, but,
the number one fastest SUV offered by Hennessy,
and also the number one fastest SUV in the world,
as of the date of shooting this, June,
- [Guy] 24th. - 24th, 2021, is,
the Hennessy HPE1000.
(engine revving)
This thing is 1,000-horsepower Hellcat-powered,
Jeep Grand Cherokee Track Hawk.
And as the name suggests, it's got a lot of horsepower.
1012 to be exact.
Hennessy upgraded and machined
a bunch of performance parts
for the already insane Hellcat engine,
like an upgraded supercharger, headers, injectors.
All of those upgrades result in a totally unnecessary,
mind-boggling, zero to 60 time of,
(engine revving)
2.6 seconds.
Why though, huh?
What?
Why?
Like what are we doing guys?
And that, is the last Jeep,
that you're gonna see on this list.
For now.
Thanks for watching.
If you haven't already,
hit that like button, it really helps us out.
You guys ask us about our cars a lot
and if you wanna learn more about some of them,
check out this week's video on the Donut Underground.
That's where we post a lot of stuff
that really doesn't make sense to go on the main channel.
to learn more about that,
hit the Join button down below,
or I'll also put a link in the description.
I mean, (beep) guys, I love you.
(guy laughs)
They all stuck.