-Hello, Jimmy.
Hello, audience.
Hello, legendary Roots crew.
-It is great to -- -Happy birthday, Ahmir.
-Thank you.
-It's coming up. -Soon, soon.
-Yeah, yeah, it's coming up soon.
-Wow, you're good at that.
-You know, you know, just saying the hellos.
-Yeah. -Just saying the hellos.
-Are you good with birthdays and all that stuff?
-No. No, no, no, no. Not at all.
I don't remember anything.
I mean, Apple has solved that for all of us.
-Yeah, exactly.
I feel like technology has ruined remembering anything.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-Oh, it says here it's your birthday.
Happy birthday.
-I don't remember phone numbers or birthdays anymore.
-Are you excited -- You're hosting the 80th annual
Golden Globe Awards this Tuesday.
-Whoo!
[ Cheers and applause ] It's a big deal.
-Yeah. -Are you excited?
-So, no, no.
So, I was very excited.
-Yes.
-Like, very, very excited.
Like, I remember getting the call.
I was at home. I live in New York.
I was alone for Christmas.
I'm --
I'm "don't go home for Christmas" gay,
which means that my mom doesn't necessarily agree
with, like, my "gay lifestyle," in her words.
-Yeah. -So -- And she wants me
to come home for Christmas, but I can't give Jesus that.
Like, I know it's his birthday...
[ Laughter ]
...but I just can't let him have it.
I can't let her have it.
-No, you can't. -You know what I mean?
Like, I just, like, you know, as the old saying goes,
"Jesus is the reason for your mother's homophobia."
[ Laughter ]
-I've seen that. -So, I'm home.
-I've seen that on bumper stickers, yeah.
-I'm home.
I'm alone.
I'm, like, bored.
I like to work. -Yeah.
-And I get the call.
They're like, "Do you want to host the Golden Globes?"
And I said yes. I was very, very excited to host.
So, I was like, "Yeah, this sounds amazing."
And I was ready to begin the process and the work.
And then I remembered
that I'll have to be working with my arch nemesis --
NBC marketing.
[ Laughter ]
-Wow.
-Oh, how I hate NBC marketing.
You guys don't know. You don't know.
They're both lazy and pushy.
[ Laughter ]
Which is a hell of a combo. -Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-Like, they're like, "We have no ideas
and we need it done tomorrow by 5:00."
[ Laughter ]
-You were at -- You had a show you --
-Nothing. They had nothing, Jimmy.
-Yeah. -They presented me --
First of all, we have to do billboards for the show,
'cause we got to tell people the show's happening.
So, they send me a billboard --
-Mm-hmm.
-Which is a recycled picture of me,
an old photo of me from "SNL," like, when I hosted.
Smiling. Big smile.
They want you to smile.
And they had a tagline that said, "Changin' it up,"
without a "g."
'Cause you know how I speak.
[ Laughter ]
You know your boy, known for dropping them "G's."
That's a Black man talking for you.
[ Laughter ]
-Changin' it up? -Changin' it up.
So, I said, obviously,
"This is unacceptable."
-Oh, my God. -And I said, you know,
"Why are we using an old photo?
You're a trillion-dollar corporation."
-Yeah. -"Let's take a new picture."
They said, "Fine."
And they said, "Can you smile, you know, in the new picture,
so we can put 'Changin' it up' beside your face?"
And I said, "How about I scowl, and instead of 'Changin' it up,'
it says, 'A night of devastation'?"
[ Laughter ]
And --
-Oh, my God.
-They said -- They said, "What about
'An evening of joy and devastation'?"
-And I said, "Fine."
So, then I thought it was cool.
Then it came time to do promos,
'cause you've got to do, like, shoot things.
-Commercials.
-Commercials and stuff like that for the show.
So, their big idea
was for me to, once again, smile
and say a bunch of corny jokes into the camera
about how I'm excited to host the Golden Globes.
"It's going to be great.
See you Tuesday at 8:00."
And I said, "What if instead of that,
I get Stone Cold Steve Austin to yell at me
and, like, spit in my face
and tell me how award shows are meaningless
and how he's disappointed in me
for doing this in the first place?"
And they said,
"No, we don't think that represents
the brand of the Golden Globes."
So then I said, "How about I just don't do the show?"
And then they said, "No, no, we love Stone Cold."
So, then -- Look, I even have on --
Look. I don't know if you can see this.
[ Cheers and applause ]
I'm a big -- that's Rattlesnake.
-That's my dude. -Yeah, yeah.
So, we got Stone Cold.
They agreed to get me Stone Cold.
Then Stone Cold's dad died.
I know. It was tragic.
But he agreed, but it was just too much for him in the moment.
So we didn't have Stone Cold anymore.
So, then it was just me. I said, okay.
Well, fine.
Maybe I could do some jokes.
You know, I'm not usually that type of comedian
that just, like, is, you know, punch line-heavy comic.
But I was like, "I have a few jokes that I could say."
You know, I have this great one about --
I don't know how to really say this for television.
It was one about how when I give head,
I look like Viola Davis in an emotional scene.
[ Laughter ]
You know what I mean? It's just, like, wet.
Just lip quivering and the whole thing.
[ Laughter continues ]
And...
-Oh, my God.
-And then they said,
"No, we don't think that represents
the brand of the Golden Globes."
Whatever. -You think?
-Whatever. -Wow.
-Fine, fine.
So, then, I pitched -- I was like, "Okay.
Well, how about this?"
I'll just speak honestly and directly to camera
and I'll talk about how, like,
I know the Globes have gone through a lot of controversy.
They didn't air last year.
Hollywood Foreign Press Association
didn't have any Black members.
And I said, "How about I just speak, you know, truthfully,
directly to the camera about how much Black approval means to me
and how I hope Black people don't boycott the show
and watch and, like, give it a chance.
And, like, you know, I wanted to speak sincerely.
And they said, "Okay, fine, you can do that.
But could you smile while you said that?"
And I said, "Absolutely not."
So, then, this is the clip.
-Here's the promo -- here's Jerrod Carmichael
in a promo for The Golden Globe Awards.
Look at this.
-My biggest fear is what will Black people think of me,
because Black acceptance means a lot, means everything to me.
I feel like Oprah never viewed me as Black excellence,
and that kind of haunts me.
Oprah and my mother,
the lack of acceptance I received
from both of those women
really causes me a tremendous amount of pain,
especially Oprah, though.
My mother, too,
but if we're being honest, it's mainly Oprah.
-Jerrod Carmichael hosts The Golden Globe Awards,
Tuesday on NBC and streaming on Peacock.
-What in the world?
Dude, I think everyone's going to be watching.
By the way, this is the --
This is the promo I saw. This picture of you.
-Just got to look. It's going to be...
[ Cheers and applause ] ...a big night!
-I can't wait. Break a leg.
Thank you for coming on the show.
-You're the best, buddy. -Thank you very much.
-Jerrod Carmichael.
Golden Globe Awards, this Tuesday,
8:00 p.m. on NBC and Peacock.
Jessie Reyez performs after the break.
Stick around, everybody.