Whether you’re afraid of death or not, one thing every person should know is that the
process of dying is physically disgusting. Now you’ve probably seen enough “Law and
Order” episodes to know the common signs of death: a cold body, rigor mortis, scavenging
insects, mottled skin and the sound of a death rattle, which I think we can do the sound effect... That's it! You can turn back now... or learn the
stuff your mortician doesn’t want you to know.
First up, yes, you’re going to lose control of your bladder and bowels. Your muscles will no longer receive energy, so they’ll relax
and whatever you last ate is going to slip n’ slide its way out. Likewise, the brain
function that keeps your urinary sphincter closed will turn off and you’ll dribble.
And as you decompose (more about that later), the buildup of gas will help push anything
remaining out as well. You’ll purge all kinds of fluids from your various orifices.
Yeah, whatever you're thinking of... that's gonna happen!
This is why some undertakers put incontinence pads on a dead body before placing it in a
coffin. In fact the gas buildup is so strong, that after a few weeks its pressure can actually
make a dead pregnant woman expel her fetus.
And here's your morbid trivia for today: That is known as a “coffin birth.”
That is a thing.
Another substance your body can produce when you die is called “adipocere,” also
known as “grave wax” or “corpse wax.” Both excellent names for a metal band.
This stuff is grayish or tan and can be greasy,
waxy, soapy, clay-like or even the consistency of a lumpy cottage cheese. It’s made from
your decomposing fat as it goes through hydration and then dehydrogenation. This process is
called “saponification” and results when a dead body is oxygen-free, warm and moist,
with certain bacteria present. It’s most frequently found on the bodies of women, infants
or obese individuals.
What if you die with your eyes open? Right, somebody's probably asking.
If your eyelids aren’t closed when you die, the exposure can lead to a brown or black strip across the eyeball.
This is known as a “tache noir,” or black spot. Eyeballs also deflate upon death, like a basketball
with a leak in it. So some medical examiners feel confident that by measuring the “corneal
turbidity” of your eyes, they can estimate when you died. To hide this deflation effect
for an open casket, funeral homes place eye caps over the flattened eyeball or inject
tissue builder into it to fill it back up. Sometimes, embalming fluid on its own is enough
to refill your eyeballs back to their normal size.
Another weird fact about your eyes when you’re dead: they no longer reflexively
respond to stimulation. In fact, this is one way examiners test to make sure your brain
is dead. They hold your eyes open while injecting ice water into your ear canal. The drastic
temperature drop will make eyes violently twitch… if you’re alive. It’s called
the oculovestibular reflex. I know this doesn’t seem as gross as all the vile substances exiting
your dead orifices, but think about it. There’s a decent chance some poor doctor is going
to have to pour freezing water into your ear while staring into your cold, lifeless eyes.
While you may be dead, the bacteria that live inside you are not.
They start breaking down their host after a few days and create awful smelling gases as they devour you from the inside out
This is what causes your body to bloat so those flattened eyes bulge out of their sockets,
the swollen tongue protrudes and all those fluids are forced outward. Your body will
change colors as the bacteria feed: first green, then purple and finally black
After a week your skin’s epidermal layer will separate from the dermal layer, so anything
touching it can cause it to fall off. On the hands and feet this is known as “degloving”
or “stocking slippage.” It’s even worse on bodies with second degree burns, or the
ones that have been immersed in water for a long time. Eventually your body will swell
so much that it bursts open like a wardrobe malfunction.
Now that we’ve covered the grossest things that happen to you when you die, I’ve got
to know… how would you like your body to be disposed?
Do you want to be buried, or cremated, or shot into space...
Or maybe do a sky burial thing, which is... fascinating but a story for a different day
Let us know in the comments below
And if you want to know more about death and dying, subscribe to this channel, or visit
our original article “How Dying Works” at HowStuffWorks.com