Since we are human, we try to control as many things as possible to free ourselves from
feelings of vulnerability and confusion to ultimately find happiness.
To better deal with our desire to control things and deal with hard situations, we will
look at the ancient philosophy of stoicism as well as some stoic practices.
Stoicism started in ancient Greece but was popularized by ancient Rome yet it stood the
test of time.
You can even argue its ideas are more important than ever in this day and age because of social
media.
It helps that popular self improvement writers like Tim Ferris and Robert Greene write about
stoicism to increase its popularity.
People look to follow the teachings of stoicism to find calmness, peace within, and to better
deal with all the chaos around them.
To better understand stoicism, we will look at the life and writings of Marcus Aurelius.
Marcus Aurelius was an Roman emperor who had absolute power.
He had a powerful army that was feared, he could have sex with any woman he wanted, and
he could have partied and had fun for the rest of his life.
Momentary pleasure was available to him without limits.
But unlike some people who get corrupted by power, he was different and he wrote about
his struggles within himself in the now famous Meditations.
Stoics observed that there are things not in our control aka things outside our mind
we cant control and things in our control aka the internal thoughts, interpretations
and reactions.
Reality does not care about our opinion nor can we will ourselves on it with force but
it doesnt mean we are helpless victims of the world.
Most things are simply not up to us like our colleagues or how the economy is doing and
there is nothing we can do to exclude misfortune.
What is under our control are our opinions, actions, and how we interpret the world around
us.
Stoics focus on the things they can control.
When we believe that things outside ourselves or things in the future will bring us happiness,
we become dependant on things outside our control for happiness which is not ideal to
a stoic.
This doesnt mean we live an inactive life but this means that our sense of joy should
come from how we think and act within our pursuit.
There is nothing wrong with trying to achieve wealth and power but to the stoic, if it works
out you should be happy but you shouldnt depend on achieving that success to be happy otherwise
your happiness will be inconsistent, taken away, or never achieved.
Stoicism suggests that a successful person is someone who can be ok without the things
he or she typically desires for comfort.
This doesnt mean stoics are people without emotion though.
They see human emotion as something that can be trumped by reason because the position
we take towards that emotion decides our mood.
There’s this quote from Marcus Aurelius that sums it up nicely.
Almost nothing material is needed for a happy life for he who has understood existence.
A stoic’s ability to find happiness despite what occurs around them is developed through
character and perspective.
Nothing is good or bad inherently but only our judgement and interpretations can be good
or bad.
A stoic strives towards an acceptance and indifference towards the events around them
and focuses their attention towards controlling their reactions.
The practice of stoicism is not easy and its impossible to be a perfect stoic that has
no moments of desire or negative reactions.
However, stoicism gives us a target to strive for.
As such, a common stoic practice is to stop oneself from indulging in the things that
give them pleasure and comfort to prove to themselves how strong they are.
This practice is to prepare a stoic for situations where they will face physical hardships and
to help train the stoic to not desire things outside their control.
You can think of this like a dopamine fast but with a different ruleset.
A dopamine fast is meant to starve you of anything that provides dopamine for 24 hours
to reset and refresh your mind but for the stoic practice, it is more lenient because
it is meant to build character.
As for the stoic exercise to deal with negativity, it is called premeditatio malorum or the negative
visualization.
You simply imagine bad things that will happen to you.
Marcus Aurelius used this daily when he had to confront people who werent so nice to deal
with.
By starting the day with a negative visualization, he was able to be mentally prepared to confront
those people.
You might think a negative visualization will make your day worse but it can make your day
better when you realize all these bad things you visualized didnt happen to you.
Another exercise is memento mori which is the stoic reminding themselves life is temporary
and short.
This way, he or she wont waste time on trival things.
Life is short and that is why it is important to direct our energy towards the important
things.
Stoicism can help give us guidance in this chaotic world full of distractions by helping
us find peace from within.
Do you follow stoic ideas?
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