I'll never forget, starting at uni,
walking into, like a hall,
like a uni party, and seeing a girl with a full hijab
just smoking the biggest joint I'd ever seen.
That's a T-shirt, like, that's a,
that's beautiful!
That is, that is going to create, like, racial harmony.
My mum was such a feeder! Yeah. Right?
Like, to the point where the school I went to contacted her to say,
"Why are you giving him so much food?"
And then my mum was just, "Just be a bit careful when
"you're eating around the school because people might see you."
"People are judging you eating, so just..." Yeah, and then...
"..secret eat at school..." Yeah!
"..then come home and binge when you're with Mum." Yeah!
Yeah. Yeah, and then everyone called me Toilet Fatty
cos that's where I ate sandwiches.
No! And then, like...
Oh, my God, it's the worst!
Sorry, that was like visceral,
like I felt, as another fat kid,
like, I felt that in the deepest part of my soul. It was horrible.
I think the darkest times, for me, were sometimes when I'd eat,
like, a jar of chutney just on its own. Do you know what I mean?
Yeah. Like, with a spoon.
But, and the thing is, when you're doing that, you know,
there's no, like, the ending point is the spoon hitting the glass.
Yeah. Because like when you're in there,
it feels like a job you have to finish. Yeah.
Like, you're not even, you're just like, "Just get this over with!" I know. "God"!
And then you think,
"If I leave this empty,"
"then people are going to say,
" 'Who ate half the chutney?'
"and I'm going to have to say,
" 'I ate it with a spoon.' " Mmm-hmm.
Then I've gotta deal with that.
As opposed to finishing it and hiding the recycling.
You get rid of the jar. Yeah.
Nobody knows the chutney ever existed. Exactly. Um... Yeah.
This is so healing for me right now, you don't understand.
So, what did you do at the cinema?
You know, anything from like, "Oh, here's popcorn,"
to cleaning out the theatres afterwards.
One of the things that annoys me is that the popcorn's so expensive,
but it's not just that it's expensive,
it's that you see them treating it like shit... Yeah.
..as you approach. Yeah. Like... Oh, yeah.
..they're throwing it, rolling in it.
They're throwing it, dropping it on the ground. Dropping it on the floor!
They carry big sacks of it and spit
into a sack and put it in the bin,
and, and so you see that it's worthless. Yes.
It obviously has no value.
But you've had to pay £7 for it.
But when you get there...it's suddenly this precious resource.
I just don't understand...
They're, it's like they're fucking slamming it in your face, like,
"We don't give a shit about this stuff."
Yeah. "But when you get here, it's going to cost you so much money."
So nobody ever did the dick in the bottom of the popcorn thing?
Well, I don't know that I would have been there for that, like, how
do you walk through with your little flashlight? Like, "Is there any dick in that popcorn?"
Well, I'm just amazed by the logistics of, like...
cos you obviously see it in films and stuff. Yeah.
How do you get the popcorn to not fall through the hole in the box?
I know. And just like... When you're coming... ..this weird... Yeah.
And then I would be frightened that the core temperature of the popcorn... Would be scalding!
It's gotta be volcanic, right?!
Well, how are you going to explain in ten years, "I got second degree burns on my dong"
"from sticking it in a box"? "I didn't know it was caramel."
SHE LAUGHS Do you know what I mean?
OK. What other jobs did you have,
apart from that? I worked as a pro dom for a while - that's fun.
A what?! A pro dominatrix for a while. Holy shit, really?!
That's what you do when you're a girl and you graduate from college.
So...how did you fall into that line of work?
You just ask, again. Right.
A friend of a friend did it. I was like, "That sounds cool."
Right. I showed up. They were like,
"Cool, you're hired, buy yourself some clothes."
We all worked in an office building, it was just...
It was seriously like, furnishings here, photography studio here...
Yeah. ..dungeon!
And what sort of shit did guys want, what sort of stuff did...?
I mean, you know, getting their ass beat? Don't skimp on any details!
I mean, anything, just, like...
You know... Spanking?
Anything from spanking, flogging, things like that. Being tied up.
Lots of clothes pins on parts that you don't want clothes pins on.
Are you serious? Oh, yeah. That's the fun one!
SHE LAUGHS
And then what would you do, hang them up like a shirt?!
I mean... You know, to a certain degree.
Did you have to talk to them terribly, as well?
Yeah, but the thing is, if you're the one who's
the dominant, all you have to go is go, like, "shut up" and "crawl".
Right, OK. You know? And then they're like...
You know? You can do terrible things when you're young
cos you're still made of cartilage, you know?
Like, you're still bouncy and you're like, "Everything's fine!
"I just compartmentalise."
Yeah, "Nothing has a long-term effect on me, this is great."
Like, "This is going to be great and, like, it has nothing to do with my parents."