I can get caught up in trying to be better
at everything.
--at anything, really.
Hey, how have you been?
Hey.
Ah, I'm good.
Actually, I just showed my teacher my dissertation and she--
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
That was such a shitty greeting on my part.
Do you mind if we just, uh,
rewind and start over?
Uh...
Okay?
Okay. Okay.
*clears throat*
*takes deep breath*
Hi! How've you been?
I'm good.
As I was saying...
I turned in my dissertation and--
Oh my God.
Oh.
My.
Freaking God.
I don't know what's wrong with me today.
Um.
I didn't believe that at all.
Did you believe it? Was it believable?
Do you mind if I just do it one more time?
Just like.
Yeah. Quit.
Another take.
Okay. Cool cool cool.
*vocal exercises*
...Okay?
I'm obviously a huge advocate
of self improvement.
Over the last seven years,
I've made 400 videos
and the majority of those
have been devoted to becoming
a better version of yourself.
Whether it's physical tricks
to increasing confidence
or promoting emotional vulnerability
or encouraging radical honesty.
I have always been on the side that if you can do better, you should do better.
What the hell is this, Bob?
What?
This form.
Why did you do this?
Look at the name space.
Now look at the address space.
Bob.
I really need you to take your job as form-maker seriously.
People already hate filling out forms.
If you give them this impossible shit
they're gonna lose their minds.
No one even knows who makes
all the forms they fill out.
I know, Bob.
I know.
And I want the satisfaction of knowing
that all over the world
people are filling out forms with smiles on their faces
because they have adequate line space
for the corresponding prompt.
Damn it, Bob.
We have a thankless job in a corporate-run world,
but that doesn't mean we have to give up!
No!
That means we are only accountable to ourselves.
That means the only way to bring purpose
and life into our meaningless, mundane existence
is to have a work ethic that we're proud of.
It means having the BEST DAMN FORMS
we can possibly create!
Be the ART that we pour our HEARTS and MINDS into!
Um.
Okay.
I-I'm sorry. I'll do it again.
That's more like it, Bob.
That's more
God damn
like it.
And though I love self improvement as a tool
it's something that can be utilized incorrectly
if you're taking it to incredible extremes.
Like if you are trying to strive for unattainable perfection.
You will be my magnum opus murder.
*muffled*
Yes!
When you assume there's something inherently broken in yourself.
I mean is it me?
You know I keep trying to do such beautiful works of art
and it just comes out looking like a total mess.
*sobs*
Maybe I'm just not meant to be an artist.
Or when you don't make a realistic distinction between what you can and can't control.
You know just once I want a murder without so much blood. You know?
I always used to think that any form of self acceptance was being lazy or being complacent.
And that if I wasn't growing, I was just remaining stagnant.
But self acceptance is just having that distinction
between the things you can and can't control and really accepting what you can't.
It's about loving the flaws that make you unique and being really okay with
where you are at in the process of growth.
It's a very delicate balance, and I don't have it figured out all the time.
But I'm really, really working on having more self acceptance in my life.
I've been very extreme on the self improvement side, and I've kind of realized lately how unhealthy that can be.
So trying to be really okay and at peace with where I am in the moment in growing.
But what about you?
Let me know if you struggle with the balance of these two
or if you don't have either of them
or if you tend to lean one way or the other.
I'm Anna Akana.
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