It's Time for NERDGASM!!!
Hey whats up guys, Jerry here AKA Barnacules!
and if you guys are anything like me you cannot stand
it when telemarketers and scammers call your home telephone number
now this morning while i was in the shower, just really really getting into my music
Yes, I have a radio in my shower.
most people do right?
and Im covered, head to toe and suddenly the dam phone rings.
the home phone rings. So what do i do, i push the door open
run across the floor, scare the crap out of my cats
fly around the corner into the kitchen
and by the time i got there, the answering machine had already picked up the call.
so i go ahead and let the answering machine finish with the message
because normally at that point i know who is calling and can pick up the phone
and low and behold it's.
"hello we are calling from cloud services "
to tell you about a new deal with some credit card that you don't own
YEA!
so at that point i take my soggy ass back into the shower.
rinse off all the soap and think about,
dammit this seems like it happens every other day right now
there are so many telemarketers, political canvases
that are calling my phone, every single day.
and then i got a little lightbulb over my head.
So while i was in the shower, where all ideas do happen.
I figured out that the telemarketing programs that they use that call
all of these numbers to figure out if they can get hold of a human
all do something, they check to see if there is a human on the other side.
and if the phone gets answered.
and so what i thought about
is if what happened if i made my answering machine message
a carrier tone from a 56K modem
Now my thought process behind this is that they system is going to realise
that its trying to handshake with a modem
on the other side of the phone line. and its going to backlist
the number, so that it will never call it again
because at that point its a waste of resources for them
now this should just as easily work using a fax carrier tone
or a 9600 bot tone
or a 56K tone
that much probably doesn't matter because Im sure that their system is soo
Low tech that its literally looking for any tone
that would be considered any kind of carrier handshake.
and it's going to blacklist you off the list
now what your gonna need to do is tell your friends and family
that when they call they are going to get a very obnoxious computer tone
for a little while, but if they just hang in there, they can leave a message afterwards.
and you can even add a message on the end of the carrier tone,
because chances are that the tele-marketing system will be smart enough to hang up and blacklist your number
long before the handshake finishes
now i realise that we are not going to be using a real modem to answer the call
although if you have the option to do that absolutely use it.
so we are not going to be generating a real handshake
we are just going to be producing the tones for one
hoping that its enough to fool their system
alright so i looked around online for some 56K modem handshake sound
and i was able to find one
unfortunately it still had the number dialing sequence in with the rest of it
and i just wanted the carrier tone, so i took it into adobe audition
and i edited it down to just the core carrier tone, Listen
(Carrier tone)
sound familiar?
(Carrier tone)
that is 56K
(Carrier tone)
Alright so i may have had that turned up way too loud
but the idea being that that first initial handshake
should generate enough random frequencies and noise that their system
will count this as a dead number and remove it from the list.
now i will have a link to the sound file down in the video description
so that you can just download it and just put it on your phone
and then play it back as your voice mail message to record it, and that's what we will be doing next
alright so the next step is to get the sound onto your device
now for me the easiest universal way to do that is to just literally email the sound to myself
and open the email on your phone, be it android or IOS
and your just save it locally
and now we have a portable version of the sound
(Dial Up Tone)
alright, lets go stick this on my answering machine and see how it sounds
say hello to my awesome Panasonic cordless phone
alright, I haven't recorded a message on this thing for a while so
i'm not even sure where to start
lets see if we can get into a menu here
okay, so on this particular model phone you have to record the message using the handset
so i found the option
so it says, record now?, yes
now
i want to alight the microphone on the bottom with the phone here
and the speaker on the iPhone 6 is on one side here
so lets alight them up about like this
so we are going to go ahead and select it, then wait for the tone and record it, you ready
(Phone says "record greeting after the beep")
(dial up tone plays)
if your still around after that, then please leave a message
alright so now i'm going to call the home phone from the cell phone and see how it sounds
call Jerry Burg home
Siri: "calling Jerry Burg Home"
here we go
(Home phone ringing)
I can hear it ringing
i think it picks up on the fourth
i will put it on speaker so you guys can hear it
(Dial Up Tone)
(answering machine playback)
well, im not a telemarketer, so it looked like it work, and now im speech jamming myself
alright guys, so i hope you enjoyed this very simple video
on how to detour telemarketers and scammers from ever calling your number ever agin
now grated this isn't an ideal solution because
if some of your friends call the house they might think it is a modem to
and they might think they have the wrong number
now the only way this is going to work is if you
is if you only screencall the voice mail from numbers that you don't know
or you inform your friends and family to listen all the way through
the carrier tone and at the end they get the actual message and the beep so they can leave a message
but i suspect that just by playing these tones back
your going to confuse the system on the other end
and it will think that there is actually a data point
and its not a voice line and therefore removing you from the list
now i will go ahead and update this video after a couple of months
and see if i see any reduction
in the call volume that's coming in
because i sustect that alot of these telemarketers share the same list and call the same numbers
and use the same database so all its going to take is a couple of them removing me from the master database
and everybody else should get the picture.
now one other thing you can do is short cut the sound file on your phone
so that if you do answer your phone, dont say anything,
wait for the other party to talk, now this will happen
if somebody calls you like your mum and you dont say anything
she will eventualy say hello
now your gonna will be able to tell from the tone if its a computer or if its a message or something like that
if you start hering the computer message pull out your phone
(dial up)
stick it up to the handset
and do it manually
that way you dont even need the recorder at all
you can also take the sound file and set it as the voice mail
message on your phone whitch will givce you an even clearer representation of the sound
now don't worry about the quality to much because the mdoem handsahake is acctually conducted over a phone line
and the origonal modems even used phones cupped on a base to transmit the sound
so the quality is expected to be pretty bad
and we are not going for a hugh bandwidth connection, we are just going
towards foolling the perason on the other and or the computer on the other end
into thinking this is a faqx line or a modem line so they will remove it from the list
now the nice thing is that the scammers like to call you as a human being,
now when it answers and starts playing the sound
the scammers are going tto immedietly be like
oh this is a fax mmodem remove it from the list
so i think that this is a great idea i hope that some of you guys impliment it
i wold love to know if this decreases your amount of crazy calls over the next couple of months
so please comment down below ongoing and moving through time
so that i knowif this is acctually getting us anywhere, and at the very least it's acctually a hell of a funny gag
and i think its hilarious when people call yourphone and they think that they are talking to a modem
okay guys come over and talk to me on twitter i am @barnacules
if you have any further questions or recommendations for future videos leave them down in the
comments i know you guys have been really loving the Jerry rigged and DIYgasm series
and im going to go ahead and place this in the DIYgasm side of things because its just a quick
and dirty way to use a sound file and a couple of devices to detour the scammers
and the telemarketers
ALRIGHT GUYS! hope you enjoyed it
until next time
so your microsoft and you noticed that i had a virus on my computer
okay so all i have to do is give you complete remote access and you should be able fix it up for me
and all i have to do is give you my credit card number?
that sounds pretty legit okay wait let me wrap up this video real quick and ill give you full root access
alright cool
alright guys see ya
heys guys, hope you enjoyed this video.
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also come over to my twitter, I'm @barnacules, I'm a real social guy
also if you have a couple of minutes check out the other couple of videos, i made them myself