- I love you, Wade Wilson. We can fight this.
- You're right.
The cancer's only in my liver, lungs, prostate, and brain.
All things I can live without.
(dramatic music)
- What if I told you we can make you better?
You're a fighter.
We can give you abilities most men only dream of.
Make you a superhero.
- You just promise you'll do right by me,
so I can do right by someone else.
And please don't make the super suit green or animated.
- One thing that never survives this place
is a sense of humor.
- Ah, we'll see about that, Posh Spice.
Oh, c'mon. You're gonna leave me all alone here with
with Less-Angry Rosie O'Donnell?
(explosion)
♫ Hey, yeah, I wanna shoop, baby
♫ Packed and you're stacked 'specially in the back
♫ Brother, wanna thank your
♫ (sings along) mother for a butt like that
♫ You're a shotgun, bang
♫ What's up with that thang
♫ I wanna know, how does it hang
♫ Straight up, wait up, hold up, Mr. Lover
♫ Like Prince said, you're a sexy mutha- ♫
(people exclaim)
(car alarms blares)
(window whirrs)
(guns cock)
- Wait!
You may be wondering why the red suit.
(chuckles) Well, that's so bad guys can't see me bleed.
This guy's got the right idea. He wore the brown pants.
(gun fires)
Daddy needs to express some rage.
♫ X gon' give it to ya ♫
(gun fires)
- Motherfucker!
♫ X gon' deliver to ya ♫
- Uh!
♫ Damn right and I'll do it again
♫ 'Cuz I am right, so I gots to win
♫ Break bread with the enemy, what
♫ No matter how many cats I break bread wit'
♫ I'll break who you sendin' me ♫
- It reeks like old lady pants in here.
- Sounds like you have a dick in your mouth.
- Oh, motherfucker, you are hard to look at.
- Like a testicle with teeth.
- You look like Freddy Krueger face-fucked
a topographical map of Utah.
- Exactly.
♫ I'm gettin' down, down
♫ Make it say freeze
♫ But won't be the one endin' up on his knees
♫ Please, if the only thing you cats did
♫ Was came out to play
♫ Stay out my way, motherfucker ♫
(gun fires)
(inhales)
- Oh! I'm touching myself tonight.
♫ X gon' give it to ya, he gonna give it to ya
♫ X gon' give it to ya, he gonna give it to ya ♫
- You are haunting.
You look like an avocado had sex with an older avocado.
- Thank you.