(electronic music)
- I am eating my feelings.
This is a very depressing eating show.
Today I have pizza.
I'm gonna eat for you guys.
(audience laughing)
This was not part of the plan.
The plan was for me to drink, talk about dicks,
and eat.
(sobbing)
Food always makes you feel better.
Oh.
(sobbing)
Oh god.
(applause)
- Hey, Nikocado Avocado.
Danielmole Guacamole.
- Nice to meet ya.
- Nice to meet you.
Thanks for meeting me at the complimentary
Hampton Inn breakfast buffet.
- Are you staying here?
- No.
That's what these robes are for.
- You know, I don't think we're supposed
to be sitting at the buffet.
- Why?
- Because you don't sit at the buffet.
- A buffets a bar, you can sit at a bar.
- I guess.
But why do we have to be here so early?
- Because that's when the buffet is at its hottest.
That's Hamptonality.
Get you some forks.
Here you go.
- All right.
- Where you from?
- I'm from Columbia.
- Are you really from Columbia?
- No, no.
I live there with my husband.
- Hold on, let me try some of these eggs.
Explain to me what muck-banging is.
- It's actually muck-bong.
It comes from Korea.
- That sounds racist.
- No.
- Mukbang.
You say it like it's kinda racist.
- I'm saying it how they pronounce it.
Mukbang.
Like if you go to France.
You say I'm in Fran-ce.
You don't say France. - Fran-ce.
So if I'm in China I say,
(mock accent) I'm in China.
(audience laughing)
Is what you're saying?
So mukbang.
- The word means eating broadcast.
The idea was that they'd put their camera down,
they film themselves eating
and then other people would eat with them.
- When do you jerk off?
It seems sexual.
- Some people do that
but that's not my target audience.
- You're getting millions of views.
- I know but not from masturbators.
Do you want syrup?
- On pancakes, sure.
That's plenty of syrup.
You didn't have to syrup the (bleep) tongs.
- Oh I'm sorry. - That's for goddamn sure.
- I'm sorry. - Don't worry about,
don't worry about it.
I noticed in the beginning of your videos,
you looked a little bit smaller.
- It's nice to be here
and I'm gonna be doing this a lot more regularly now.
Oh yeah.
I've gained like 50 pounds.
- This isn't healthy.
- I know it's not.
Let's figure out a way to do this.
Oh my god.
- [Tosh] What about the amount of food?
Why is it so much?
- Well I mean it doesn't have to be a lot
but I like to eat a lot just 'cause.
- No but you're eating an unhealthy amount.
You wouldn't eat that much in a normal sitting would you?
- Oh no, no, no.
- Right, so why are you doing that amount of food?
- 'Cause it's a great excuse to get fat.
(laughing)
- How many videos are you posting a week?
- I post like five days a week.
- Five mukbang sessions a week?
You're gonna die. - I know.
(audience laughing)
You're getting full already?
- Literally getting full already.
- You would never be able to do this.
- No, I wouldn't.
I would be, for like the premature ejaculator mukbangers.
- Oh.
(audience laughing)
- Getting hot.
Getting the food sweats.
By the way, why are you always crying in your videos?
(crying)
Are you that emotional?
- I am.
Well, the food doesn't help either.
- Oh 'cause you just feel gross?
- Well, you feel like shit
but then also like it throws your hormones out of wack
and I'm already naturally emotional.
So I just, sometimes I cry.
- What the (bleep) was wrong with that Alfredo pizza
you were eating?
- [Nikocado] The one in Columbia?
- [Tosh] Yeah, it was big and it was flat.
Cheese looked hard.
- [Nikocado] Was I crying?
- [Tosh] Yeah, yeah you were,
of course you were crying.
- It taste better than it looked.
- Hey, let me grab one of those.
- This?
Here.
That's raw waffle batter.
Isn't that bad for you?
- Raw waffle batter?
I thought this was a waffle smoothie.
(audience laughing)
Tell me about how this has affected your poops.
Are they enormous?
- Yes.
But people think I eat shit all the time.
- Well just mukbang shit.
How long after one of your videos
before, uh oh.
- It's usually immediate.
- It's immediate?
- Yeah and it's not the food I'm eating,
it's whatever is there that gets pushed down.
- Is it diarrhea or is it solid?
- No, if I eat something that's really really spicy
than that hurts.
- Yeah, you said your butt hole bleeds a lot.
- It doesn't bleed but it hurts.
These fire noodles, I'm obsessed with.
They really make my a-hole bleed.
(burps)
Excuse me.
Not bleed, sting.
Sting like a wasp.
- Why fire noodles?
- They're popular.
- Running low on eggs here!
- If it wasn't popular, the Korean fire noodle challenge,
I would not be on the toilet crying twice a week.
(softly humming)
- Them good eggs are on the bottom.
Hey, what's up with the bird?
You shouldn't let your bird eat that food.
That's bad for them.
- I know but his names Mr. Noodle.
- Just because his name is Mr. Noodle
doesn't mean he should eat noodles.
- Okay, you caught me.
- No one is gonna tell you that feeding your bird
hot noodles is a good idea.
- Well, you know they can't feel spice.
They don't have spice receptors.
- I didn't know that.
- Yeah, so. - Nevermind.
Go ahead and feed them.
(audience laughing)
Why do you get hot sauce in your eye so much?
(panting)
- I have no idea why that happens.
I'm just doing my video
and hot sauce splatters into my eyeball.
Every time.
Every (bleep) time.
- Do you want me to tell you why it's happening?
- Why?
- 'Cause you (bleep) sit so low.
If you had a taller chair,
maybe your eyes would be out of harms way.
- I don't know, I think I need to get googles
from now on.
- Pass me the orange juice, please.
How long have you been married?
- A year and a half.
Hey everybody, look who I'm with.
- The husband.
- [Tosh] You still kiss or do you skip that?
- [Nikocado] No, we kiss.
- What is this a mukbang gang bang?
Easy, spitfire, we need some of these.
- Hey, Peggy.
These pancakes already got syrup on 'em.
- [Woman] That's Hamptonality.
- That guys doing the heavy lifting for us.
Real piece of shit.
(audience laughing)
You seem to be riddled with diseases
but they're all self diagnosed
so I'm calling bullshit.
- I don't know why I'm in so much pain
and I don't want to go to a doctor
'cause I have a phobia.
- You said in your videos
that you have chronic coughing syndrome,
diabetes, kidney failure.
- Okay, I thought I had kidney failure.
I actually turned out not to.
- Okay.
- And I thought that I had diabetes.
I actually turned out not to, too.
- You eat that durian fruit?
- Oh, I love durian.
- That smells like assholes.
- It does.
Actually, my best friend used to say
it smells like Indian food wrapped in a diaper.
I'll try to eat some durian.
- [Tosh] It looks like a pastry on camera.
- [Nikocado] They thought it was dough.
- It's so, what's the texture like?
- It's kinda like scrambled eggs.
(groans)
- Is there any danger outside of just unhealthy eating?
- There is a lot of haters.
Actually, that's one of the sole reasons
as to why I have a lot of issues.
Like, they really get to me.
- Of course they do.
- You have haters, right?
(audience laughing)
- What makes you sad, today?
- I don't know, I just.
Sometimes when I've done a mukbang
I feel full and then I just,
I think about, all the stuff in my life
and I get sad. (somber piano music)
- Are you gonna cry?
- No.
(audience laughing)
Maybe.
- You wanna hug it out?
(audience laughing) (somber music)
(crying)
- Break it up, boys.
It's 10 am.
Breakfast is over.
- But we're still mukbanging.
- It's okay.
I brought to go boxes.
(audience laughing)
(upbeat guitar music) (audience laughing)
All right, Nikocado Avocado.
Let's go rinse off in the pool.
- All right.
(applause)
(electronic music)
- I'm gonna show you how us dancers stay in shape.
We're gonna work today our lower body,
our legs, specifically, especially the legs,
and the buns.
The butt, the butt butt butt.
Butt jug a butt, jug a butt butt butt.
Four, five.
Don't tell me you have 15 minutes a day
to spend on yourself.
(audience groaning)
I love you.
(applause)
- Jill, welcome to Wrinkles.
The only gym designed specifically for women.
How do I say this nicely?
(groaning)
Past their prime?
Hard, hard to get an erection without medication.
Shall I say?
(groaning)
(growling)
- I can help you.
- You can help me?
- This is my specialty.
- I think you would be a perfect addition
to our training staff
but first, I have to ask you a few questions, Jill.
Is that okay?
- Okay, sure.
- How old are you?
- I'm 52 years old.
(groaning)
(audience laughing)
- How much do you weigh?
- 109.
- What's the most you've ever weighed in your life?
- 124?
- And did you keep the child?
(laughing)
- Lilith took it away.
- Okay, I don't know what you just said.
(audience laughing)
Finish this sentence.
50 is the new?
- 20.
- 20?
I like that.
Very unrealistic.
What's been your most popular workout video?
- I did a 10 minute lower body workout.
Oh yeah.
Six, eight.
- Cha-ching.
Better body, you or Madonna?
- I have to say me.
Although, she tries but I think I can help her, too,
actually, if you can get her in here.
- Let me tell you something.
The celebrities that have walked through this door:
Goldie Hawn, Tiffany, Cheri Oteri,
Bret Butler, Beyonce's aunt,
Tea Leoni, Victoria Jackson.
Condaleeza Rice.
Quite regularly, Demi Moore.
- Oh, okay.
- Beautiful woman.
- She is.
- 25 years ago.
- Well.
(audience laughing)
- On your YouTube channel,
you do a lot of dance tributes.
(rock music)
(audience groaning)
- The character that I created is the Mother chick.
Because the original rock video that I did,
which was in 1988, was for a band called Danzig
and the song is called Mother.
♪ Mother ♪
- [Tosh] That was you in the video in 1988?
- It was pulled from MTV because the content
was considered...
- Satanic?
- They know.
- Legally, I have to ask you this.
Are you a devil worshiper?
- Part time.
I am part time.
You know, I have to keep a balance in my life.
In my spiritual realm. (audience groaning)
The yin yang.
You're a gym person.
- Yes. - Done martial arts.
- I have not done martial arts.
- And that is, black, white, light, dark,
good, evil.
I think Lucifer has gotten a bad rap.
- That's for sure.
- He's kinda of set up.
You know, he being the light bearer
is the one that reveals truth
and Satan is actually the one
that keeps people in the dark.
- What do you think of Scientologists?
- That-- (shushing)
- Don't say anything.
(audience laughing)
I want you to introduce to the world
my latest fitness craze.
I'm calling it Crotchfit.
Four intense stages.
Stage one, stretching the (bleep).
(audience laughing)
Stage two, high weight, low reps, on the (bleep).
Stage three.
Confusing the (bleep).
Stage four.
And this is the most important one.
Violently shaking...
- The (bleep).
- You guessed it, the (bleep).
- Get you a uniform. (applause)
- Oh.
- That's what everyone wears.
- No stretchy (bleep)'s going into this,
I'll tell you.
- Oh my lord.
(audience laughing)
- Oh yeah.
(audience groaning)
- That is insanity that you're that low.
Are men intimated by you?
- I guess some are.
First of all, I'm blessed genetically.
- Well, that's obvious.
- And a good dancer.
- Talk about the drugs.
- What drugs?
- Talk about the drugs.
Stand behind me.
Gently put your feet in my hands.
You're gonna grab my feet for balance.
- Are you gonna lift me up?
- One, two, three.
(shouting)
(grunting)
Now we hook.
And then you pull or I pull.
See, do you feel it?
Okay, you're very strong.
Very strong.
(audience laughing)
This stage is crucial.
Pushing your body past its comfort zone.
- That's-- - Look.
(audience laughing)
Did you see that?
Why is that happening?
Is it because I've never worked out in my life?
(audience laughing)
Put your arms straight down.
- Somebody help me.
- We're like two old bats just hanging here.
Hey, what's the best concert you've ever gone to?
- David Cassidy.
- [Tosh] How are you doing right now?
- Somebody help.
- Ah, this is the lovely Tiffany,
our twerk instructor.
♪ Show me what it is ♪
I thought her everything she knows.
You're getting a lot better.
But I still got it.
Anyway, for our final phase of Crotchfit.
We're gonna combine your love of 80s music and drugs
with twerking.
I'm calling it tweaking.
- I've never heard of it.
But I'll give it a shot.
(eerie organ music)
(audience groaning)
(rock music)
(audience laughing)
(roaring)
(screaming)
(glass shattering)
- Like that?
- She's a natural.
- Yeah, I think we found your calling.
Welcome to Wrinkles.
(audience laughing)
(electronic music)
- I'm the Bonglord.
(soft reggae music)
(water bubbling)
I'm the Bonglord.
(upbeat music)
♪ Let's smoke weed ♪
I'm the Bonglord.
- All right.
I'm the pot doctor.
Says your from Australia, down under.
Came here to start a weed church?
- Yeah, mate.
I'm here to spread the good word
about the benefits of marijuana.
- Sure you are.
Potheads have no follow through.
First things first.
You need a medical marijuana license
to get high in California.
All right, first questions I ask all my patients,
are you a cop?
- I'm the Bonglord.
- Okay.
Have you ever felt any of the following symptoms?
Anxiety?
- Yes. - Okay.
Mild headaches? - Yes.
- Occasionally bored? - Yes.
- Having trouble sleeping past noon?
- Yes.
- Can't eat an entire bag of Doritos in one sitting?
- Yes.
- Haven't laughed once while watching The Goldbergs?
- Yes.
- Ever sneezed?
Trimmed a fingernail too short?
Do you lose patience preparing food in a microwave?
- Yes.
- Do you want to watch Cosmos
without retaining any information?
- Yes.
- Okay.
- I'm the Bonglord.
- How long have you been the Bonglord?
- I've been the Bonglord for my entire life.
- You were born the Bonglord?
- Yes.
- That's inter--, is you're mother a virgin?
- Uh, no.
- No, okay.
I didn't know like if it was like
the second coming of Jesus Christ, you know.
Nevermind, it's a long story.
It's a good book, though.
How old were you the first time you smoked marijuana?
- 15 my first time.
- 15.
Did you like it your first time?
- Yes.
- Do your parents call you the Bonglord?
- No, they have no clue.
- Do you live with your parents?
- Yeah.
- You live right under their roof
and they have no idea you're the Bonglord.
- No.
Basically living a double identity.
- You're like a superhero.
- Yeah.
- Why'd you start drinking bong water?
- 'Cause it taste good.
- It tastes, it tastes disgusting.
- It's a waste of, waste of pot if I don't.
- So you actually get high off the bong water?
- Not too sure.
- You're not too sure?
You just don't want to waste any pot?
- Yeah.
- That's what the Bonglord teaches us.
- Yes. - That no pot should be wasted
- None whatsoever.
- Favorite thing to eat while you're high?
- Tacos, definitely.
- Tacos.
Are you Mexican?
- No.
Okay.
Do you ever go skiing?
- No, I've never been.
- You should try skiing.
Got the mask.
All right.
What's your most popular video?
- My most popular video is the four shoter.
(water bubbling)
- Your second video was the ALS ice bucket challenge
with a twist.
Do you support causes close to your heart?
- Yes.
- Like what?
- Saving the children.
- You smoke pot to save the children?
Is that a thing?
Are you high right now?
- I'm the Bonglord.
(audience laughing) (electronic music)
- Hi there.
My name is Ken Tamplin.
(vocalizing high pitched)
♪ Oh baby ♪
Would you like to have that kind of vocal power,
range, clarity, and pitch?
Well you can.
Come join me.
KenTamplinvocalacademy.com
and I'll show you how we can do it.
- Cute top, Ken.
You're telling me that Ken Tamplin
can teach me to sing like Ken Tamplin?
Yeah right.
When it comes to pure entertainment,
I'm the best in the biz.
Triple threat.
Acting, piss poor.
Dancing, I'm a dude, no thank you.
Singing, I've had no training.
- Tell you what, let's see how much range you got.
- Okay.
(vocalizing shrilly)
Firsts things first.
What kind of shampoo do you use?
(laughing)
Is it true that anyone can learn to sing?
- Pretty much almost anyone can learn to sing.
(vocalizing poorly)
Okay, cool.
Other than being tone deaf.
(vocalizing forcefully)
Usually larger people, (chuckles)
can sing better but in this case.
(audience laughing)
You have really nice, bright timbre.
(vocalizing)
Cool, keep it bright when you come down.
(vocalizing)
Can you go (vocalizes)?
(vocalizes)
(blues like vocalizing) (audience laughing)
(chuckling)
(vocalizing)
- That sounds like a dying dog, too.
This sound that he's using will destroy the voice.
(vocalizing)
(harmonizing)
Cool.
You just hold your breath when you speak
and you learn to control and mitigate the air.
- Hold your breath when you speak.
- That's right.
- And do not stop holding your breath
until you are out of oxygen.
- No, you can
take quick breaths. - At which point.
- You can take quick breaths in between.
- I'm running out.
- No, look. - I'm out.
- All right.
- So that is good.
I think we're ready.
♪ Old McDonald had a farm ♪
♪ E-I-E-I-O ♪
♪ And on his farm he had ♪
Wait, hold on.
Is it on his farm?
Well then why are some people not singing that right?
- On that.
- I have on that.
- I have on this, I have on his.
♪ And on that farm he had a ♪
- Wolf.
♪ E-I-E-I-O ♪
♪ With a ♪
(rock guitar) (rooster crowing)
(vocalizing)
♪ Here and a ♪
(rooster vocalizing)
♪ There ♪
♪ Here a ♪
(vocalizing)
♪ There a ♪
(vocalizing) (audience laughing)
♪ Everywhere a ♪
(vocalizing)
♪ Old McDonald had a farm ♪
♪ E-I-E-I-O ♪
- A macaw.
♪ With a ♪
(squawking like a bird)
♪ Cock ♪
♪ With a ♪
♪ Cock a doodle doo ♪
- Gray whale.
♪ With a ♪
(vocalizing whale call)
♪ There ♪
♪ Here a ♪
(vocalizing whale call)
♪ And on that farm he had a ♪
- Ken Tamplin.
♪ With a ♪
(vocalizing)
♪ Old McDonald had a farm ♪
♪ E-I-E-I-O ♪ (vocalizing high pitched)
(audience laughing)
(electronic music)
(soft upbeat jazz music)
(audience laughing)
- Is this seat taken?
- You want to come in right now?
- Yes. - Okay, cool.
- I would like to come in right now.
- Hope you bring us luck.
(laughing)
Wow.
Oh my.
- You want to change all of this?
- Chips!
- Okay, 2,500.
7,500.
12,500, okay.
24,199.
- Perfect. - Correct.
Good luck.
- What's the table min?
- $5. - Okay.
- Yes.
(audience laughing)
- That's for you.
- This your bet?
All right, good luck.
(tense music)
- Oh, that's not good at all.
(chuckling)
- Okay.
(groaning)
Let me check first.
All right.
Okay, green light.
- So, sir, you first.
- All right. - You want to hit.
He got soft 17.
You want a hit?
- Yes, please.
- Okay.
15.
- I'm gonna take a hit.
- Now, no good.
All right, so your turn.
(audience laughing)
Hit?
(groaning)
(audience laughing)
I am sorry.
- Cocktails!
(applause)
(electronic music)
(speaking foreign language)
That's a weeping mother using VR technology
to reunite with her dearly departed daughter.
I'm starting to feel like this season
might be a real bummer.
(audience laughing)
Even I think this is majorly effed up
and just dumped my dog's ashes on an audience member.
Sorry 'bout that.
These tech companies are profiting off grieving parents
and millions of people online are watching this.
(speaking foreign language)
Okay just when I thought this video
couldn't get anymore depressing,
there's a birthday party for two.
(audience laughing)
It's virtual reality.
You could of created anything.
At least drawn a few friends.
A bounce house, maybe a pony.
(speaking foreign language)
All right, ride's over.
If you want to play again,
you have to lose another loved one.
(audience groaning)
I called next.
(soft piano music)
- Daniel, my favorite grandson.
- Pop Pop, is that really you?
Leroy Jenkins!
(rock music)
You're going down you old racist try hard.
(upbeat music)
Hey, you're not one of my dead relatives.
- No, I'm here for the grandpa gang bang.
- Sorry to tell you but he's dead again.
- Well, that's not gonna stop me.
- This game is a lot sadder than I thought it would be.
(audience laughing)
(electronic music)