- Today, you're reacting to Eurovision. - Ah! Here we go.
- Woooo! I love Eurovision.
- My mom and my grandma are Polish, so they want me
to watch the Polish performances, so I do watch those.
- I lurve Eurovision! I haven't had a chance
to see this year's, though, so everything will be
a surprise for me. - ♪ Not sure I told you,
but I really like your teeth ♪ - What?
- ♪ That hairy coat of yours with nothing... ♪
- What?! - ♪ Not sure I told you,
but I really like your teeth ♪ ♪ That hairy coat of yours
with nothing underneath ♪ ♪ Not sure you have a name,
so I will call you Keith ♪ - I haven't seen this one!
- It's giving Power Ranger... - ♪ Before that wolf eats my grandma,
give that wolf a banana ♪ ♪ Give that wolf ♪
- I am dead! - ♪ And before that wolf
eats my grandma, give that wolf... ♪
- The wolf eats my grandma? - ♪ Give that wolf... ♪
- I love it. Okay. - Why is this a banger, dude?
- ♪ Before that wolf eats my grandma, give that... ♪
- What the hell is going on? - Give that wolf a banana,
ladies and gentlemen, so it doesn't eat your grandma!
Little Red Riding Hood, eat your heart out, you dumb bitch.
No wonder you got eaten, 'cause you didn't have
any bananas in your basket, stupid bitch.
Banana muffins, banana bread. ♪ Before that wolf eat my grandma,
give that bitch a banana ♪ ♪ Give that wolf ♪
So good. - I love that there's a shoutout
to grandma. I love that there's a shoutout
to bananas. - I want this one to win.
You just don't hear lyrics like that. - Very Eurovision.
It's definitely unique. - I'm gonna put it at six.
- I'm gonna give 'em a six. - Number eight.
- I feel like it's giving me number seven vibes.
- [Censored] yeah! Hell yeah! Number one.
- Let me just put it as number two, so I leave room for a number one spot.
- (woman singing in Spanish)
- Me too. - I've seen this one.
- Ah, Camila Cabello wishes-- she WISHES!
- She's like, "Shakira who?"
- Okay, Spain. - Yes! Get it! Get it. Ayyy!
- Cute. - Ay... ay!
- Ooh, that's cool. I like the lighting effects.
- Beautiful. Beautiful. Costumes. Vocals. Choreography. Hips.
Hair. - I'm here for this.
- I can't really grade off the lyrics
because yo no entiendo. - She's gonna make me pop a pin.
- ♪ Drives you loco ♪ ♪ Take a video ♪
- Whoa. "Drives you loco, take a video."
- That's the most palatable one. I'm gonna put her
in the middle for now. - I don't love the song,
but I was super impressed by how she danced the whole time.
Number three. - I'm gonna put it right underneath
Banana Grandma. - This is so hard.
I feel like I'm gonna put it at number six.
- I know that I can change them around, so I'm gonna put Spain at three.
- I'm gonna give them a three. - ♪ I'm in your backseat ♪
- (gasps) - ♪ You are driving me crazy ♪
- I already love it. - ♪ You're in fully control ♪
♪ It's like you've always known ♪ - Go off, Greece.
- Lorde? - That looks like Lorde.
- How are you giving me both Billie Eilish and Lorde vibes
at the same time? - ♪ It's been a lovely year for us ♪
- The production. - ♪ Yeah, that's what they say ♪
- Love that she's singing in English too.
- This is really cute. - ♪ We've been living in fear ♪
♪ Close to giving up ♪ - Greece!
- ♪ But if we die together ♪
- I'm mourning the loss of love, baby!
- I love her little accent, like "another."
You could hear it softly. - Love the scenery.
- Oh, they're so pretty. - Can everybody just put
their phones down for this one? Oh, no, no, no, no.
This is what she needed to do. Shhhhhh! Shhh!
♪ Die to-- ♪ Shh!
♪ Die together! ♪ - That was beautiful.
Greece, what the [censored]? Number three for now. Sad.
- This one might beat Spain only because I could understand
the lyrics. That's the only-- you know.
- I'm gonna put it at number four.
You know, I'm really just judging based off vibe.
- I'm gonna give them a four. - People love a ballad,
but I feel like Eurovision is a celebration.
And even its origin, it was meant to rally up
the European nations, so... I don't wanna put it below Norway.
I'll put it at seven. - I'm gonna put it at four.
Is it the type of music that I would listen to
on a regular basis? No. But that does not take away
from the fact that the song's beautiful.
- ♪ (man singing in Italian) ♪ - 10 out of 10 for the cape already.
Okay, back down to a nine 'cause that lip thing.
- No. No thanks.
- Their voices sound so great together.
- Oh, that's kind of cool. Is it a male duet?
- Is there a full orchestra? - (React) Mm-hmm.
- Ooh, that's cool. - Come on, full orchestra!
- Like Italian Harry. I'm here for it.
- I appreciate it for what it is, but this is not what I want
at Eurovision. Maybe at Pride.
Look at how he's holding his mic.
♪ (vocalizes) ♪
- I know Eurovision doesn't tend to like people who sing
in their own languages. Stupid. So, I'm gonna unfortunately
do a little bit of a niner. - I feel like the performance
was more simple, though. But I also feel like
it may not have been as grand as some other
Eurovision performances. I'm gonna put it at number eight.
- I'll put them at number five. - Because you're the defending,
I mean, I feel like people are gonna look at you even harder
for like, "What did you come with?" So, I'm gonna probably put 'em
in a seven spot for now. - I'm gonna put it-- right now,
Italy's going at number five. - I'm gonna have to give them a seven.
- ♪ If I was an astronaut, I'd be floating in midair ♪
♪ I would... ♪ - He looks so scared.
- ♪ ...of my lonely universe ♪ ♪ But I'm only human ♪
♪ And I'm crashing down to Earth ♪ - Yo!
- Astronauts are also human. Pointing that out.
- ♪ I'm up in space, man ♪ - I was not ready for this.
- ♪ I searched around the universe ♪ - Go off, you king!
- This is something I would listen to on Spotify and stream on repeat.
- ♪ And I wanna go home ♪ - I'ma give him some points
for the hair. I'ma give him some points
for being ♪ a UK hon ♪ I'm gonna give him the fifth position.
- I'm feeling that that's about to be number two for me right now.
It was shocking how good that one was.
And also hauntingly beautiful. - The UK sometimes struggles
to rack up points. And they did really well this year,
so good job, Sam. - I'll go with five for now.
- UK, I'm so sorry. I'm gonna do a 10.
UK, with so much peace and love, I'm so sorry.
- Second place. - I mean, it definitely beat Spain,
but I gotta just put it in five right now.
Sorry, Grandma Banana's still two. (laughs)
- Seems like one, but also two! - I wanna run with my feet up.
- (sings along) ♪ Rock and roll ♪
Oh, I hope they have a [censored] metal as hell drop.
Oh, whoop. Nope. (laughs)
- I love this.
- I'm liking this. - That is so catchy.
- Folklore and rock and roll. - The way this just makes me feel
happy watching? I love it.
- Bucharest! (speaks gibberish)
- Moldova, you're just gonna hit nine because I just love
how upbeat you were. - A 10 because you're a 10
out of a 10. - You know, I'm gonna put that
at number three. - It was catchy.
I'ma do a little sixie. - I guess I'll put you
at number nine for now. - Moldova is gonna go in number seven.
- ♪ I've tried to write a million other songs ♪
- Love the voice already. - Okay Portugal!
- Portugal took another big risk. - ♪ Saudade, saudade ♪
- Oh, wait. Never mind. Hold on. - Okay, girl group.
- ♪ Saudade, saudade ♪ - Gay. It's gay and I know it.
Come on, gay. - They sound really great together too.
- I'm vibing with this. I like this. - Loves it.
I wanna go to Portugal immediately. - I'll put Portugal at eight.
- I'm gonna put them at nine 'cause I don't feel that they'd be
in the top three. - I'm putting Portugal at six.
- I would date all of them. (speaks Portuguese)
- I'm gonna give them the ninth. And it's not out of hate.
It's just out of running out of places to go
when I know who wins. - That's going at number eight.
- ♪ No need to apologize ♪ - I love this song.
- It looks like she's not even singing. It's terrifying.
- ♪ (imitates singer) ♪ - Stop looking at me like that.
- ♪ Guess all the good things... ♪ - We kind of have the same vibe:
white skin. - ...That's it?
- Yeah. Yeah. - ♪ Most of all, I wish
that I could love you less ♪ ♪ 'Cause tomorrow will hurt,
hurt really bad ♪ - She's not wearing shoes!
- She doesn't need shoes. She's from Sweden, bruh.
- ♪ 'Cause I'm about to lose the best I ever had ♪
♪ Hold me closer ♪ - I love it.
- ♪ I'll be bleeding ♪ - All right.
- This one gave me a little bit of chillage.
- ♪ I found the right one at the wrong time ♪
- Ooh! - I love her energy.
- Her voice is very, very different. She's got that kind of Pink rasp.
- Spin that orb, babe! Spin it!
- Love you! Literally, I added that song to some playlists.
- A lot of people I've noticed are taking inspo from Maneskin,
going a bit of the rocker route because they blew up so aggressively.
- I'm gonna put them at number 10 tentatively.
- So, Sweden's gonna go number six for me.
- I wanna give her the number two spot, but it might change
when I can change things because of her performance.
- I'm doing it number eight for now. - If I'm going to be honest, that one,
probably my least favorite so far. So, that one's gonna be number nine.
- Number four. The lyrics are so beautiful.
It broke my heart a little bit. I was in the car, and I was like,
"Okay, is there a tear in my eye?"
- ♪ (woman singing in Serbian) ♪ - Bitch.
- ♪ (woman singing in Serbian) ♪
- Meghan Markle? - Meghan Markle?
- It's not Meghan Markle? - Are they putting a curse
on Meghan Markle? - Okay, I saw this one.
And honestly, I was just sitting there kinda like... (laughs)
- This is wild. What is happening?
- Is that towels? - Is she making clay?
What? Is she washing her hands? - What the fudge?
- Are you washing her hands?! - Is she washing her hands?
(laughs) - This also, to me,
I'm like, "Europe." - (claps)
- Beat this lava. - ♪ (repeats Serbian) ♪
- ♪ (repeats Serbian) ♪ - ♪ (repeats Serbian) ♪
♪ (repeats Serbian) ♪
It's giving me ♪ Gaga, ga, ga ♪
- There are, in fact, references to Meghan Markle's healthy hair.
- (chuckles)
10. - ♪ (hums and claps) ♪
- They get eight just because only eight is left.
And I saved eight for my favorite because eight's my number.
But it's honestly not my favorite. - Number two. Let's go.
- Serbia, we'll go seven 'cause it starts with an S.
- I'm just gonna place them at 10, but I know that's incorrect.
- Okay, Serbia, you're taking 10, but you certainly won't stay there
'cause that was just, I don't know, pleasantly disturbing.
- ♪ (men singing in Ukrainian) ♪
- I love this song.
- ♪ (man rapping in Ukrainian) ♪ - What?!
- It would be Ukraine. - Some of these words are similar
to Polish, so... - If this came on at the bar,
you know I would be busting it down.
- [Censored]! I love this flute thing! - This part.
- Whoa! Lizzo is shaking.
- I did this right 'cause that's number one for sure!
- Ukraine is top five for sure. - I mean, I only have number one left,
but I feel like that's actually a solid place for them.
- Number one. That was a great song.
- Number one, where it belongs.
I heard all the complaints. And then, I looked at the song,
and I was like, "Why is anyone complaining?"
- (React) Would you like to make any changes?
- I feel like I should. - Hell yeah, we're making changes.
- Actually, no. You know what? I feel good about this. I'ma keep it.
- (groans) I'll make Italy six. - Let's switch Portugal and Spain.
Eight. Nine. Okay!
- (React) Number nine is Portugal. I'm sorry.
- You're wrong!
(laughs) - (React) And that means coming in
at number one is Ukraine. - Didn't I have them as number one?
I had them as number-- (laughs)
Ukraine is top five for sure. - It's because of the war, huh?
- Not only because there's a WAR going on in their country right now
but also because it was a good song. So, 50% sympathy votes,
50% actual talent. - Ukraine, you deserve it, man.
- You know what? I'm proud of myself,
'cause all those points came from being spot on.
- Dang it! - I just wanna say thank you
to my mom and thank you to Sierra.
♪ What's the secret to Sierra's charm? ♪
♪ It's something about her leg and her arm ♪
- ♪ Goodbyeee! ♪
- (React) Great. And I need nothing else.
- (laughs)