English CC by Charles Baluyot
If the government can make it illegal for parents to name their kids after household appliances and superheroes...
surely they could have intervened here too.
Welcome to WatchMojo.com,
and today we'll be counting down our picks,
for the "Top 10 Worst Video Game Titles".
For this list,
were only looking at games that received an official console or PC release.
Because there were so many bad titles out there,
were mostly looking at the titles that are redundant,
impossible to say,
or so hilarious you wonder, "Who the hell approved it?".
You only get one chance to make a first impression,
so obviously developer's carefully consider all their potential titles.
An alternative approach would be,
"Oh, look the V on my keyboard is sticking and just wrote the same letter six times,
Well, why mess with a good thing,
let's just call it, "VVVVVV" and never look back.
It's technically a retro-style 2-D platformer,
and the title actually comes from the repeating V-shaped spikes they have to avoid.
We get the idea,
it's a playful knot to the simple streamlined aesthetic of the game,
but,
that's like calling "Donkey Kong" barrels,
or "BBBB BBBBB".
This game is actually kind of good, albeit very tough,
the only thing tougher than being the game is actually pronouncing the title though.
Is this a video game title?
Or a fourth graders math problem?
The game's advertisement show the proper way to say it as you heard earlier.
Except the word "days" is clearly written after the "number 2",
so if you were a casual consumer who happen to see this box art,
you probably think the title was "358/2 days".
Within the game, ugh... spoiler alert.
It's revealed that Roxas quit Organization XIII (13),
in the middle of his 359th day with them.
But then, why not just use "359 days"
or better yet come up with a good title? How about that?
We cannot stress this enough,
just because you can run two words together to create a new hybrid word,
doesn't mean that you should.
Sexperience, eggpectation, zorndorf,
actually that last one could work great as a death metal band name,
but that's not really the point.
Revenge,
and vengeance are already pretty much the same word.
"I will have my revenge!"
"Vengeance is mine!" See? Synonyms.
Maybe we expect too much from Metal Gear,
the franchise overall excellence is only surpassed by the generally poor naming
of both their names and characters.
I mean, the words "Metal Gear" and "solid" don't exactly mesh well together.
But we also have the subtitles like...
"Ground Zeroes" *bominate sound*...
...you gotta draw the line somewhere.
Hey, did you know that this game is about "King Kong"?
Or that it's an official game but like,
based on the movie?
Oh and that movie is directed by Peter Jackson.
Apart from "King Kong",
none of this information is needed in the title of the video game.
Most individuals would have managed to make those connections themselves.
Given that it was released around the same time as the film and feature pretty much the same art...
...and even if they didn't make that connection,
and for some reason they cared about it.
The introductory paragraph on the game's Wikipedia page would probably covered that.
Movie tie-in games are rarely well-received,
so maybe don't draw attention to that fact with the world's clunkiest title.
More often than not, fully titled games,
fit into one of a few common clichéd naming strategies.
In the case of this Xbox 360 release it falls into the...
...overly convoluted cliché.
First glance, it looks like a potentially sophisticated title,
but the veneer of big words wears off almost instantly.
What does "Infinite Undiscovery" really mean?
"Infinite" essentially means "endless" going on forever.
"Undiscovery" which is not a real word...
...get the sense of past discoveries being forgotten or simply,
failing to be discovered at all?
So,
basically the title suggests that it consists of endless nothingness.
In reality, this is a forgettable RPG with an unforgettably bad title.
You had to expect at least,
one sexually suggestive title on this list, am I right?
Picture this,
you've created a mascot platformer that's designed to be sold to kids.
Now, in an era where most parents would have made to purchase for their kids.
How many would have purchased a game for their kid that sounds like a porn movie?
Why why not quite as raunchy as "Tracy Morgan's Goregasm: The Legend of Dong Slayer",
while Woody release for Sega CD in 1995
must have raised a few eyebrows.
I mean, you kind of expect the opening cut scene to feature a muscular plumber or a pizza delivery guy,
stumbling into a bachelorette party.
The title character Woody is in fact,
not an actor in the adult entertainment industry,
but, he is still vaguely phallic shaped as he is a pencil,
a really creepy pencil.
Yeah, there's good reason no one remembers this one.
"Divine" a word so nice that used it twice,
honestly, the title is so bad it breaks all conventions, clichés or trappings of badly titled video games.
Who in their right mind gave the "Ok" for this one?
"Divinity" is literally defined in the dictionary,
as "the state or quality of being divine".
So putting the adjective "divine" in front of "divinity",
could not possibly be more redundant.
It's not like naming a flavor of ice cream "double chocolate",
in which case you and chocolate chunks to chocolate ice cream that's doubling the chocolate.
No, no, no,
"divinity" is already is defined as it's gonna get, you can't possibly be more "divine"---
Anyway you get this right?
*scoffs*
That's really what it's says, man. *laughs*
Ahh... "Touch Dic". *scoffs* (Humorous isn't it?)
Admittedly this is more of a utility than actual game,
but when you develop something for Nintendo DS and give it a side-splitting laugh out loud...
No, seriously who got fired over this title?
You've earned a spot on our list.
"Touch Dic" is short for "touch dictionary"
and it is also the most misguided abbreviation in the history of consumer goods.
There this poorly titled product would say,
a Fox News report about the potential for child molesters to use the Nintendo DS to target victims,
and you get a match made in public relations hell.
Xex-xeys,
or zexzes
or xesz-z-z-z...
or xex zezes
Correct pronunciation: sexy-z
Your guess is as good as mine, of yours.
Here's a tip,
if your video game is about a dystopian world that's been ravaged by nuclear fallout.
And one of the only remaining vestiges of human civilization,
are the island nations that the game's hero must save?
Don't,
blow it by giving the game and island's a name that no one can pronounce.
(Sexy-z) Syke-zis released in 1994 for the NES (Nintendo Entertainment System),
it's honestly a pretty fun mixed platformer shooter
with the good story.
But with a name like (sexy-z) xex wisess, *pfft*
it is we'd rather let the alien robots destroy it because humanity's lost already.
Before we unveil our top pick,
here are a few honorable mentions...
Correct pronunciation: Hotaru no Nikki
Ok, so our pick for the worst title is...
Get ready for this one. *clears throat*
Roughly translates to:
"Summertime High School: A Young Man's Notes
How a New Exchange Student Like Myself Ran Into His Childhood Friend On The School Tour,
Then For Some Reason Became Super-Popular With The Girls
For His Daily Scoops On The School Photography Club
Even Though He Only Takes Panty Shots, And What He Thinks He Goes On Dates
During His Summer Of Island School Life."
*narrator gasps deeply and then exhales*
Just rolls off the tongue doesn't it?
Do you agree with our list?
What's the worst video game title you've ever seen?
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