The(bleep)is this?
just because I am
in the comfort
of my own home,
doesn't mean that I can't save...
Fix your lives.
Did I say save your lives?
I can't do that.
I meant fix your lives.
That I can do.
Fixed it.
fixed it, fixed it.
Fixed it.
You're welcome.
Oh my God.
How many more questions are there?
Jesus Christ.
There's so many questions.
Let's get started.
Benavidez4182 said,
"what's some things you can do
when bored at home."
Oh, watch TV.
Just watch TV.
You don't like watching TV.
You know, it's always fun.
You know what I like to do,
but I don't do it enough,
but when I do it,
it sucks up my whole day.
Is I like to make movies
with footage.
So I like to shoot stuff
and then I'd put it
into like an app.
Like iMovie or
really easy editing thing.
And I make like
a little movie.
and it takes up
so much time.
(upbeat music)
Maybe it's okay
to be bored sometimes.
Lindsbrennercimino said,
"Pregnant due in May,
what should my first
alcoholic drink be?"
"It's been so long."
(laughing)
Linds oh I like you.
I don't know you,
but we'd be friends.
What should my first
alcoholic drink be?
Oh God, you gotta go hard.
Don't even mess with wine
or Prosecco or anything.
Or like beer,
don't even bother.
Go straight for the hard stuff.
'Cause
when I go
for a really long time
without drinking
and then suddenly drink again,
all I wanna do
is just like get real drunk.
Let's take some shots together.
Fixed it.
Olivesterz says,
"How do you keep your relationship romantic
during quarantine times?"
Oh! That's ah,
how do you keep it romantic?
I feel like being stuck
in a house with someone
is just by default romantic.
Am I wrong?
I might be wrong in this.
I think a lot of people
probably heard me say that
and be like,
what are you talking about?
Obviously,
I stopped trying
with my appearance.
I stopped wearing makeup
a long time ago.
I put way too much product
in my hair now.
I don't think I remember
the last time I put
my contact lenses in.
But I don't know.
I think...
But also my husband and I
are like still pretty fresh.
We're like a year and a half.
We're pretty fresh.
You gotta read a Cosmo.
I'm sure they have
like cool tips and stuff.
I don't know.
I'm thinking like,
I don't know,
make a mistake,
make your significant other a stake.
I don't know.
You know, role play,
watch porn together.
I don't know.
Do that stuff.
That's not really romantic,
but you know,
it could be.
It could be.
Depends on the porn you watch.
I gotta stop.
You're welcome.
Aliciadempz said,
"Why won't my boyfriend close cabinets
after he opens them?"
I don't know.
Why doesn't he?
What is he doing?
Why would you leave it open?
Why are we leaving it open?
I have no idea.
You know what,
I do that sometimes.
And I'm not proud of myself.
Why won't he?
That's not the question.
Is it why won't he?
It's can he change his behavior?
And I think he can.
And I think he knows he can.
You just can't nag him.
Don't close them.
Don't close the cabinet.
If he leaves them open,
don't close them.
And then he'll come down
and be like,
why are all the cabinets open?
And then he'll realize
that he's part of the problem.
I don't know if that'll work.
But why wouldn't he close cab...
You know what?
He's got to just change his behavior.
What's your boyfriend's name?
Listen, Aliciadempz's boyfriend,
close the cabinets.
What are we doing?
Why would you leave them open?
Come on, get your (bleep) together.
You're welcome.
Ohh_boy_I says,
"How can I learn to say no
to people without feeling guilty
or having to explain myself?"
Oh my God,
that was my problem
for a long time.
How do I say no to people?
And I did
I'd say yes to everyone.
And then I would
double-triple book myself.
I mean, I have friends.
And people would get
really pissed off at me.
I'd always be late
or I flake
and it was awful.
And then I just really
made a mental note
to just like make,
put plans in my calendar.
And then when people asked me to do things,
I'd say like
no I can't make it.
'Cause I had something in there.
But that's how you're asking.
How do you say no to people
without feeling guilty?
I realized that
when you say no one time,
the first time,
it's much easier
to say no after that.
So I know for me
it was really hard to say no,
the first time
whenever someone asked.
'Cause I'd yes
to everything all the time.
And so when they asked
if I could like do something,
I was like,
I don't think I can.
And they were like,
Okay.
Cause you think
their whole response
is going to be like,
Oh cool.
So we're just not friends anymore.
And then when you realize
that's not their response,
it makes you...
It makes them much easier to say no.
You know what,
put yourself first.
That's what Oprah used to say.
I think that's what she said.
I can't remember.
It sounds like
something she would say.
Be like Oprah.
Johnbuisii says,
"My wife wants to lose weight
and gets mad that I want
to keep eating cookies."
"What do I do?"
So she wants
to lose weight.
She doesn't want you
eating cookies.
Eat them in secret.
If she can't have cookies,
obviously she doesn't wanna watch
you eating cookies.
So just cower somewhere
in the corner
of your living arrangement,
and eat a cookie.
Or in the middle of the night.
Come down and eat cookies.
I...
Listen, my husband is very health conscious
and I need chocolate
on a regular basis.
And sometimes I feel guilty
cause I'm like,
should I not wanna eat this
all the time?
Should I try
to be more health conscious?
And then I realized,
you know what?
Chocolate makes me happy.
And if he doesn't want me
to be happy,
that's his problem.
No, I mean I guess,
I don't know.
It sounds like she just wants
you to be healthy.
But you can be healthy
and eat a cookie or five.
Like I'm not a nutritionist,
but I think
you can do that.
So find a study that says
chocolate's good for you
and give it to her.
And just let us tell her like...
Or maybe make healthy cookies.
Like instead of sugar you're using,
I don't know honey,
or like maple syrup
or I don't know.
Some other healthier sugar,
coconut sugar.
Is that healthier?
I don't know.
Maybe make an alternative cookie.
That's just not as unhealthy.
And you guys
can both eat it together.
Good luck to your wife.
And I think it's very sweet
that you don't wanna
flunk the cookies
in front of her.
That's good.
Fixed it.
Fixed your life
and your marriage.
You're welcome.
Ae_phil says,
"Just broke up with my toxic friend group
and now I have no friends."
"What now?"
Well done.
That is tough.
Toxic friends suck ass.
Toxic friends suck.
I shouldn't say suck ass.
'Cause that's a little harsh.
You just have
to make new friends.
I know it's like a little
jarring to make new friends.
But you seem really nice
and you seem like,
you know what you want.
Which is good.
So you really just have
to go out there.
And it is hard
to make friends
after a certain age.
I mean, in elementary school
you're like standing
by the pencil sharpener
with some kid
and you're like,
"Do you want to
be best friends forever?"
And they're like, yeah.
So you can't do that
as an adult.
I wish there was a Tinder
for friendship.
That would be really fun.
Maybe you need
to invent an app.
Tinder for friendship.
There's no like
romance involved.
It's just,
"Do you wanna go to the movies
and just hang out
platonically with me?"
But I think you're
gonna be fine.
I think, you know what?
It's better that you
don't have any friends
than have friends
who are all toxic.
'Cause toxic friends
♪ Can ruin your life. ♪
Alright, good luck.
I think you're gonna fine.
I'll be your friend.
Fixed it.
It's done.
I did it
I did them all.
I did them all
Alright.
That's it.