One of the biggest problems with season 8 starts before season 8.
In episode 1 Jon Snow and Danny Targany hangout at a cave and all I could think was...
this was so much better the first time.
In my opinion, their love quote unquote, is extremely undercooked, for two reasons.
One is that they haven’t spent enough time together.
The second is I don’t get why they’re in love and I think there’s an easy way
to fix this.
Jon Snow has the chronic problem of not wanting authority, but always ending up with it and
in the books Daenerys has similar thoughts.
She daydreams about when she was a kid at the house with the red door and fantasizes
about having a carefree life.
All you would really need is one scene where they talk about that and their relationship
could make sense but that scene never happens.
I already mentioned this in my spoiler free review of episode 1, but I have to reiterate
that the writing is terrible.
Wheelchair boy rightly tells everyone that they don’t have time for this shit, and
everyone ignores him.
We can all agree that Bran is a retard but he is a retard with powers, so I feel like
you should listen to em And shoutout to Tyrion for doing that in episode
2. Even though it didn't end up mattering at all
To continue with episode 1 though, taking Euron’s ship, the silence, was way too easy.
It should’ve been a tense stealth scene but they treated it like a speed run.
Jon Snow riding a dragon also should’ve been a cool moment but it just sort of happens.
George Lucas was apparently on set when this pointless CGI scene was filmed and I don’t
know about you, but I am shocked.
To be positive for a second, I thought Sam telling Jon that he was Aegon was a somewhat
well done scene.
And I liked the ending as well.
Let’s move on to episode 2.
I feel like you could actually edit out a lot of 1 and a little of 2 and then what’s
left could be merged into a pretty good episode.
You could start the entire season off with Jaimie’s trial and make it longer with more
twists and turns.
At the end, Danerys could lose her temper and try to execute him.
Then Bran could step up and save his life.
It gives Bran more of an active role in the trial.
And Danny losing her temper could add a tiny bit of ammo to the whole mad queen plotline.
which we'll get into alot more later...unfortunately.
Other than that though, I enjoyed the episode and Brienne getting knighted was pretty good.
Time for ummm….the third part.
Nothing makes sense but this scene is particularly stupid cause Jorah’s never even met Melisandre.
An undead army is about to attack and Charmander comes out of nowhere to say.
Then he blindly obeys and says.
It’s fucking retarded and a sign of horrible things to come.
That being said, I don’t want to be too negative so I will say that they nailed the lighting.
Continuing with my pristine positivity, the battle tactics are spectactular,
with my favorite part being when Danerys lands her dragon.
Her killing multiple whites with a sword inspired me, especially since she’s never used a
sword before.
It really is proof that women can do anything, as long as horrible men don’t hold them
back.
Then on Game of Thrones, a show that became famous for killing characters, they kill almost
no characters.
And…the one character that does die, didn’t need to.
Theon could’ve waited like 2 minutes and been fine.
I’ve seen people say it was a heroic sacrifice but if I run in front of a bus and go flying
across the arby’s parking lot, that just makes me a dead retard.
Then there’s Melissandre again who is always 100 percent sure of everything until she’s
completely wrong.
She tells Arya B up X up D up then Arya gleefully jogs off with Berric Dondarrion's corpse in the background.
And honestly, the last few minutes felt like a joke.
Jon screams at a dragon.
Arya teleports behind the night king.
Melisandre dies for no reason.
And, as much as I hated all that, hearing D and D talk about it was worse.
This whole meme that subverting people’s expectations automiatically equals good needs
to die a firey death.
If I tell my bald wife I’m going out to get her ice cream, then cut my own head off
with a chainsaw, I have in fact subverted her expectations.
I’ll still be fucking dead though.
Weeks later, I remain shocked that one episode managed to undo so many years of build-up
but it’s okay, I’m sure episode 4 will be good.
The writing is remarkably terrible, again.
They get their own character’s name wrong and then there’s this.
Tysha, Tyrion’s first wife, being casually brought up sucks since in the books and the
better seasons, that’s a tragic part of his backstory.
Basically, Tyrion fell in love with a lady named Tysha and Tywin found out about it.
He then ordered Jaime to tell Tyrion that she was a whore that had been ordered to sleep
with him and she didn’t really love him at all.
Then cause it’s Tywin he had her gang raped.
The twist of course is that she was not a whore and she did genuinely love Tyrion.
Jaimie tells Tyrion this in A Storm of Swords when he saves him and it completely ruins
their friendship.
But in the show, Jaimie never tells him.
I realize this is book and not show lore but they brought it up and laughed about it so
I think it’s a fair point of criticism.
And In case you were wondering, Bran does still has Down syndrome.
Gendry asking Arya to marry him managed to enter so bad it’s entertaining territory, a bit
like another franchise Jorah was in.
Before I get into the depressing Daenerys stuff, I want to take a happy break and show
some things I actually liked in episodes 2, 3 and 4.
Now that we’ve had a moment to relax, let’s keep shitting on everything.
I’ve disliked Danny in the past, even roasting her in my episode 2 video, pun intended, but
their suspicion towards her at this point, is completely unwarranted.
I'm bored so I'm gonna try to make it warranted.
During Jaimie’s trial have her get angry like I said, then have her do something reckless
in episode 3 as well.
Since all he does is hangout with Sansa, let’s kill this man.
Guy man says “Lady Sansa I want to defend your honor on the front lines.”
The battle starts and Danny is understandably emotional cause of this.
She starts carelessly shooting fire at the whites and accidentally roast guy man man,
and a few other dudes.
Sansa sees this and she goes wow she’s an asshole I sure wish my brother was secretly a targaryan.
and an heir to the throne.
Keep in mind I’m not saying these things would make her insane
I'm saying they would partially justify characters wondering about her mental state.
Concerning the actual story, going in to get rid of Ceresi as quickly as possible
is the humane approach.
Or atleast it would’ve been, had Danny not gone full Makrov.
I’m not mad at this part, cause the memes have been worth it.
Euron also could’ve pushed forward just a little bit and killed everybody that washed
up on the beach.
But kinda like season 7 where Jaimie almost drowns in a puddle, then escapes, there’s
no continuity between scenes.
And finally, there’s the epic long awaited face off.
It’s fine, I’m sure Ceresi just kinda forgot that she sent wanted to kill Tyrion.
Let’s move on to the uh well developed episode 5.
Just like episode 3 ruined the white walkers, episode 5 ruined Danerys Targarayan.
What annoys me the most is how unnecessary it was.
It’d be different if she had to kill some innocent people to takeout the golden company
but…they basically get one-shotted.
And if that wasn’t enough, Harry Strickland runs like a coward.
But the character assassination does not stop there.
Varys acts like a moron.
Then Jaimie says this shit.
At first I tried to write it off as a joke but…I don’t think it’s a joke or a lie, D and
D just had to ruin him before he died.
My favorite character in the books and the show, got killed by rocks.
Arya actually acting like a person was nice but I can’t really appreciate it cause she
did a 180 in one scene.
Then after years of hype and some excellent content we get Cleganebowel.
It was fine.
I like that they fell into the fire but I wish Sandor had conquered his fear and knowingly
used fire to kill the mountain.
As it stands I’m not even sure if he pushed him into it on purpose or if he just wanted
to knock him out the tower.
The fight also had too many cuts and I think it should’ve been a 1v1 in the throne room,
with everything burning around them.
Moving on, the ballistas might be the most inconsistent thing I’ve ever seen.
It was OP last episode and now it can’t do anything.
To take a break from bitching I will say that I did like the score at the beginning.
It did a great job building the tension before the…horribly one-sided battle.
Emilia Clarke has gotten shit for her acting for many many years but she nailed it here
and Daenerys actually does look tormented.
Throughout this video I’ve tried to do small rewrites to try to justify things and I got
a few more.
Let’s pretend the dragon Euron no-scoped is still alive.
The beginning of the episode should’ve been a nail biting battle between Danny and Ceresi’s
forces.
During the battle, Danny flies to where Ceresi is and tries to take her out with her two dragons.
But rhageal gets taken out instead and Danerys retreats.
We cut back to the fight and during the carnage, there’s a 1v1 between Harry Strickland and
Jon Snow.
Jon is wounded but kills Harry then the golden company puts their weapons down.
The Lannister forces see this and surrender as well, and the day is won.
The Northmen cheer for Jon Snow and it’s a very happy moment.
We cut back to Danny, who once again sees how much everyone likes Jon more than her.
Then due to a combination of that, her dragon dying, Jorah dying, Missandi dying and Jon
not wanting her…she has a little bit of a meltdown.
At the very end of the episode, Tyrion confronts her and she realizes what she did.
And that’s it for episode 5.
The only solace I take from this trainwreck is that Bobby B was correct.
It’s fitting that this season ends with a potato on the throne.
I’m biased but I think this scene would be much more tragic if Danny had in fact had
a psychotic break and had since snapped out it.
Then the scene could be Danerys pleading with Jon that she made a mistake and Jon deciding
if he could take the risk of her doing it again.
Another alternative could be if she snaps out of it when Kit Harrington stabs her and
she reflects on what she did in her last moments.
But instead she tries to justify a massacre with the worst logic possible.
And Jon isn’t much better.
He goes from I love Danerys to fuck that fire bitch in five minutes and Kit Harrington’s
acting doesn’t exactly sell the scene.
He stabs her then looks shocked that she died.
Afterwards, there should've been a bloodbath but instead everybody just kind moves on.
Daenerys didn’t even get any last words.
She’s a main character who was introduced in season 1, episode 1 and she went out like
a red shirt in season 7.
Anyway um after all that, Edmure finally makes his triumphant return.
Then we get about 95 endings that are all fucking retarded.
If I had to rate season 8, I’d give it 2 fuck D and D's out of 79 water bottles.
Like most things the show started off really really great, and ended really really badly.
I remember how hype I was watching this fight.
And when a certain young lady uh tripped.
Those days are gone but life goes on.
Before we know it the next great show will be here and hopefully it stays great this
time.
Until then, I’m going back to shitting on Netflix movies.
Take it away grey worm.