Hey, it's Mark here from Make Him Yours and today, we are talking about a topic
that you really need to know about. So we've got the guide to the
10 Male Dating Personalities that Lead to Heartbreak. If you haven't already
got that, download, link in the description, but we are talking today about the
narcissist, one of the most toxic male dating personalities.
I'm going to tell you what you need to know, how to spot them early and
what to do if you've already found yourself with one.
Stay tuned. [Music playing]
Well, welcome to another video. And today, we are talking a male
dating personality that can be incredibly toxic to your dating and relationships.
It is the narcissist. Now in this video, I'm going to tell you how you can
spot them early, what they do in your dating and relationships,
and why there's such a danger once you get involved with one.
To begin with, narcissistic personality disorder is a diagnosable disorder,
but that only goes to the men who are at the very or women as well,
who are the very end of the spectrum.
So narcissism is a series of traits and it's a spectrum. It's not a binary thing.
It's not you don't have it or you definitely do. There's a spectrum of traits, and the more
narcissistic a person, the harder they are going to be and the more toxic they're going
to be in your dating and relationships.
So, there's two types of narcissists and the narcissist you usually think of is
kind of the outward narcissist, the grandiosity narcissist the person with
all the toys and who wants to show off all the time, who's totally self-absorbed
and that's an important type of narcissist, but there's also the much quieter
narcissists, the one who plays the victim a lot and this surprises a lot of women
that narcissist can exhibit a lot of victim behavior.
You see a narcissist doesn't necessarily love themselves.
In fact, a lot of them loathe themselves. They're just always self obsessed,
so it's not always self-love. Remember that with narcissist. It can just be self obsession.
A lot of them don't know they're narcissist and they can be quite quiet personalities
that blame their failures on the world and exhibit a lot of victim behavior.
So why are they so toxic to your dating and relationships?
Well, narcissists make everything about them. And that means that your failures
or what they perceive as your failures will be made about you.
In other words, they're always in the right. So what happens?
They'll do things like gaslighting where they say, I only did this and we're only
failing because of you. They'll say, how could you possibly look at this
situation this way? You're crazy. And what they'll do is slowly make you lose
trust in yourself.
You question your own decisions, you'll, you'll start to second guess yourself
and it's incredibly, incredibly toxic to your self esteem. What a narcissist ultimately
does is they bring your self esteem down to a level that makes them feel more
comfortable. They're insecure, if they're with a high value confident woman,
that doesn't make them feel good. So they make you question yourself.
They make you wonder, you second guess your own opinions.
They make you wonder if you're right and they bring that down until they
can feel more secure.
Eventually you, you feel like you have no faith in yourself and you feel like
you couldn't do any better, so you don't want to leave.
This is why you need to be so aware of this male dating personality,
patronizing criticism, blaming everything on you, victim behavior.
"I only behave this way because of you." It's all stuff that erodes your self esteem
and makes everything feel like it's your fault. So how does it happen?
How does no one wants to get into a relationship with a narcissist or
how does that even happen? What goes on there? Well, relationships with the
narcissist start very, very well. Even if it's the, whether it's the outward narcissist
who just has that grandiosity look to him, or even the inward narcissist,
you meet the guy and you feel like things are perfect. Things are so good.
He wants to know about you. He's investing. He seems like this dream guy.
Everything's going so, so well and then something starts to change.
He starts to pull away. The emotions pull back and now lots of men do pull away,
but when the narcissist does it, he blames it on you.
Maybe he criticizes, maybe he compares you to others.
"I'm pulling away because you did this" or "I'm behaving this way because you said this."
It's all your fault and you start to scramble.
You start to think, "Oh, this is, I must've been doing something wrong.
We were so perfect at the start." And you keep working and working and
failing and failing and he keeps blaming it more and more on you.
No one starts wanting to get into a relationship with a narcissist,
but it happens because he pulls away and he wants to keep the power,
but he blames it all on you.
And more and more, you feel less and less sure of yourself
and you try and win back the fantasy guy that was there at the very beginning.
So how do you spot them early? How do you avoid getting yourself
into this toxic frame with a guy like this? Well, with the outward narcissist,
you want to look for those excessive displays of grandiosity at the beginning.
You want to look at the guy who's impressing you with things and,
and toys and money rather than his personality that he feels like he
has to do that. And with the inward narcissist, you want to look for that guy
who sweeps you off your feet? And the outward guy will do this too.
But the guy who really sweeps you off your feet seems too good to be true and
then starts pulling away and blaming it on you. So the narcissist is usually focused on
talking about himself. Conversations might be about you for a little bit, but he always
steers the conversation back to himself.
The one little exception would, this is with particularly manipulative narcissists at the
very beginning, during that little fantasy phase, they'll want to get to know you really
well, but they'll then use those things against you when they start to pull back. So they'll
use things you learned, they learned rather about, say your family or your friends and
they'll use them against you. Perhaps they'll talk about a guy friend as a reason they're
pulling back and make it your fault. So look for the guy who's all about himself, all about
impressing you, being the stream guy, and then pulls away and blames it on you.
So what do you do if you've already found yourself with one or finding yourself with
one now, or if you think you might be dating a man with a few of these
tendencies? Well, for the outward narcissists, the grandiose type
narcissist, you want to make sure that you let him know that you're not with him for
those things. So tell him that you'd rather that he cooked you breakfast
or just did something cute, just the two of you, you know, went on a little trip
to a park or something. Then do another big grandiose display at a restaurant
or a take you on another car, whatever it is, show him that you want him for him
and not for the things that he has. See a lot of these types of narcissists
inwardly believe on a subconscious level, that you're only with them because of
the things that they've accrued. So you want to demonstrate to him that you're
not with him for those things. And perhaps in that circumstance he can open up to you
and be a little more vulnerable. Now the inward narcissist, can be very dangerous
and very toxic, and if there's excessive victim behavior, if there's excessive blame,
excessive gaslighting, stuff like that where you're losing trust in yourself, you just
want to get out of that. But if he's just displaying a few of those tendencies,
if he's just got a little bit of victim behavior, maybe he says something
like, "Oh, I only behave this way because you did this," and you say,
"No, no, no, no. You behave this way because of you. Take some ownership here"
and he's receptive to that, sometimes relationships can work with these
kinds of guys, especially if they're willing to acknowledge the way they are
and perhaps go to something like a counseling or a psychologist
and work on themselves that way, if they're willing
to drop the victim behavior, take some responsibility,
and most importantly, you are rock solid in your boundaries, slight narcissists
do well with women who are rock solid in their own frames and can set good
boundaries. If you are like that, then men who are slightly with these tendencies
can actually still be great partners and work towards a fantastic relationship.
Well, thank you so much for watching today. We have covered one of the most toxic male
dating personalities - the narcissist, and remember there are 10 others or nine others.
Free report down below. Download the guide to the 10 Toxic Male Dating Personalities
That Can Lead To Heartbreak. Make sure you download it.
Become aware of these types of guys. If you've never dated a narcissist before,
you are one of the lucky ones. You want to make sure you avoid them.
There'll be lots of comments below from women who have dated them
and they would encourage you to stay away from these guys. And if you have
dated one before, you never want to find one again. These guys will erode your
self esteem and they're very, very dangerous. So learn what the male
dating personalities are. Get the guide from below. Hit the link in the
description, download it now, and educate yourself on these types of men.
Thank you so much for watching. Make sure you subscribe,
leave a comment, give the video a thumbs up, and I look forward to seeing
you in the next video very soon.