- I put that your deal breakers in a relationship
would be lack of creativity and racism.
That's a given. - It might get me.
- Maybe.
- It might throw me off
a little bit. - Just a little.
Love is like a magic trick.
You believe it when you see it,
when it's in front of you.
But when it's away, it seems impossible.
Looking back, all of the girls I've fallen in love with
usually came from, oh I didn't think I'd like that person
as much to be honest, but it always turned into
something deeper because you never went in
with that expectation.
So it's not something I've ever wanted to find now,
because you almost limit yourself by looking
for that definition.
- I don't think relationships are easy.
And I think that people who say that, are stupid.
I think people have this idea, that if you find someone
that you really really like,
that you're not going to have problems with them,
and that's not true.
I want to be with someone who's able to
acknowledge that and then work through that with me.
- Your name is James.
And this is your story.
You are 29 years old.
For work, you are a restaurant manager.
You grew up on the West Bank
and your ethnic background is black.
- Well, actually my name is Tajh.
And I'm 26.
I'm a photographer and I was born in New Orleans.
And I am black.
How'd you know?
- Just a wild guess.
- Well your name is Michelle
and this is your story.
You're 25 and you are a barista
who grew up in Texas
and your ethnic background is German.
My name is Anjle.
I am 28.
For work I am a gallery manager, freelance illustrator
and painter, makeup artist and burlesque performer.
I grew up in New Orleans and my cultural ethnic background,
I'm black, Choctaw, Dutch and French.
- Okay.
- I think I would define myself as a creative person.
I need to be making things and I love making
things for other people.
I really like challenging myself to try new things.
So I was running myself with different kinds of artists
and performers.
Helps me learn new things.
- Its very important for a partner to be creative.
One thing I really look for in a person's personality
immediately is open-mindedness.
So with love it's such an open mindedness and creativity
about that because everybody has their own subjective
definition of what love is.
So I guess in trying to define it with someone
you find out how creative they can actually be.
If you could only have one creative outlet,
I chose, it would be illustration.
Is that true?
Yeah? - Yep.
- What do you think mine is?
- Photography.
- Close, poetry.
- Okay.
- For the second one I chose, you are an extrovert.
- I am an ambivert.
So I'm both.
- I can see that as well.
- I put that you are an introvert.
- Very much so.
But I like your term, I'm a little bit of both,
depending on the situation.
- Okay.
- I say, that you believe compromise is essential
to have a successful relationship.
- I do think that.
I also put that you believe compromise is essential.
- Yes.
I would definitely agree.
'Cause if you're not willing to compromise
then why are you there?
To be honest.
- I think some amount of compromise is important
to relationship.
I don't think you should compromise who you are
in order to fit into a relationship.
- A lot of the times in my relationships
I've found myself thinking way too much
about what she might be going through,
verus what am I actually doing with my time.
- But I think, when you're in relationships,
with other people, you have to be able to give them
some allowance and work with forgiveness and patience.
- I start to try and help them find themselves
more than actually keeping track of what I was doing.
So almost losing that sense of individuality.
- I put you, have felt like an outsider
because you are a creative black person in the south.
I put one thing that you are working to improve
about yourself is your art.
I said that you do not think sexuality is a spectrum.
And I put that your deal breakers in a relationship
would be lack of creativity, someone who is boring
and racist.
That's a given. - It might get me.
- Maybe. - It might throw me off
a little bit. - Just a little.
- We can get past that.
It's funny you say that because I have felt
like an outsider, for the reason of,
just being a unique person, having a unique vision
so it does kind of come with the territory.
One thing I am working on is achieving goals
like setting goals and staying true to them.
I do think sexuality is a spectrum
and then for my deal breakers.
Racism.
But yeah, closed minded people.
- Just people who generally don't accept change easily.
Kind of just get under my skin.
Just be open minded to everything.
I believe you have felt like an outsider
because your personality is unique.
One thing you're working on improving about yourself
is smiling more and being happy.
You do think sexuality is a spectrum.
And then your deal breaker might be people
who talk too much.
- Okay.
I have felt like an outsider,
but because I'm mixed so I never really felt like I
belonged to like either sides of my family fully.
They were accepting but other people were,
I don't know, you're too much of a thing
or not enough of it.
And because I'm nerdy and strange so my interests
growing up were different.
- I like it.
- One thing I'm working to improve about myself
is relationships with other people and myself
and communication.
I kind of felt like your answer was
the weird speed date equivalent of asking me to smile more
which I didn't appreciate. - It was.
Only because I like your smile.
And you haven't smiled as much when you first got
here so, - You have to give me
reasons to. - Okay.
- I put that I do think sexuality is a spectrum.
And deal breakers for me are smoking
because I'm allergic, lack of healthy communication
and pretty much any like ism.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
- I understand completely.
Especially racism.
- Ties back into your open mindedness a little bit.
- I agree.
What is your sexuality?
What do you consider yourself?
- I am bisexual and also demi-sexual
until I get to know someone.
Like I don't want to experience primary sexual attraction.
So me thinking someone's attractive
is different to being attracted to them, I guess,
after I get to know them
and have an emotional connection first.
- I consider myself straight, for the most part.
But I agree, sometimes personality is more attractive
than the actual physical features to me.
- At times it is, extremely lonely
or isolating, depending on the environment that I'm in.
But it led me to to seek out other people
who seem like they were outsiders.
I made some of the best friendships
because I gave other people the time of day.
- When I first saw you, I said that,
I would date you.
Because of your necklace, anybody who likes mythology
and other cultures is real attractive,
so that definitely struck me immediately
to your open mindedness.
And now after getting to know you,
my answer has not changed.
And I still would date you.
You seem like a very interesting person
and I would love to get to know you.
- When I first saw you, I said that I would date you,
because I liked the color of your pants
and your teeth.
And your hair seemed pretty good, so.
- Thanks.
- Now that I've gotten to know you a little bit,
I said, that I would date you.
Seems like we have some things in common
and I think learning more about you would be good.
- It would be nice.
Things that I look for in a person now,
are really I guess undefined only because of
how much I've changed as a person.
- I'm looking for someone who's very emotionally mature
and intelligent.
Who can communicate with themselves
about their feelings enough, and in a mature enough way
that they can communicate with me about them.
- Love usually grows from that bond you have with someone
in the beginning because you start to realize
how much joy people bring to your life.
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