like many of us i spent my early 20s chasing the corporate dream the impressive salary the catchy
job title a designated spot in a cool office i thought that the higher up the ladder the more
valuable i was to society and the more valuable i became as a person i never once second guessed if
these were actually my thoughts or if they were shaped by the culture and society i grew up in
just after a few years of working i quickly found out that each promotion
meant more responsibilities and pressure for every pay raise there was always someone making more
and i never felt like i fit into these catchy job titles
progress never really felt like progress because with each step of the ladder
i felt like i had to give up a huge chunk of my time and my freedom in exchange
i was overworking myself feeling exhausted all the time and barely making it through another day
all to achieve this false illusion of happiness i call it an illusion because while everything
looked perfect from the outside i felt like i was trapped living someone else's dream
sometimes we can have everything we could have ever imagined only to get to the destination i
realized that this was not what we wanted at all i feel like i've been there and it can be a scary
feeling but at the same time it can be a pivotal moment in our lives to change things around
talking to my friends my peers and some of you guys it seems like i'm not the only one who
feels this way ever since we're kids there's already a road map that's laid out for us
by our families by our cultures or the society that we live in
and it seems like it's our life goal to kind of live up to this expectation in a way it can be
really comforting because it shows that someone really cares about us and they want us to succeed
but on the other hand it can be really conflicting because maybe that path doesn't lead to where we
truly want to be before we get into today's video i do want to thank betterhelp for sponsoring
today's video i've worked with them in the past and i just think it's a very valuable service
because we all know that mental health as well as physical health is a top priority especially now
better help is a platform that will first assess your needs and match you with a counselor that
is perfect for you and you can actually start communicating with them in the first 48 hours
they have over 15 000 counselors with a wide range of expertise and if you decide that you
want to change your counselor for whatever reason they make it really easy for you and it's also
free of charge i think it's really great that they make this accessible and they have financial aid
also they make it available for clients all over the world if you guys are interested they're
offering 10 off your first month by using my code that's betterhelp.com malama that's better h-e-l-p
malama if you guys are interested i will leave the link in the description below please go check it
out and let's get back into the video i personally struggled a lot trying to fit into this mold
and the narrative for me was to go to school get a good paying job get married and have kids
and of course there's absolutely nothing wrong if you love it and you thrive in this structure
but it just wasn't my vision and there's no way that all seven billion of us can perfectly fit
into this mold we're all so different and unique and i feel that this life path doesn't give us
enough room to find our own place in this world i always thought about this even when i was young
and when i was in school but i could never really conceptualize it and put it into words for example
i love learning i still do but i never really liked the school structure i struggled and i used
every excuse under the sun to not go to school but i did excel in certain topics a handful of
topics that i really liked and one of them was french i saved enough money to go backpacking
and that summer i learned more about the world and myself than i did in my 17 years of school and it
wasn't through books and lectures and slide shows it was through conversations trying different
food and meeting different personalities getting lost these moments really impacted me and i feel
like i learned the most valuable lessons out of these experiences and that's when i knew
that there's not one way to learn there's no one way to live life i also had this
realization when i first landed my corporate job i actually really liked the job that i was doing
i believed in the mission but i really didn't like the work structure i didn't get along with
my co-workers i didn't like the office politics and the clocking in and clocking out was kind of
killing my spirit what i'm saying is school is not for everyone having a career is not for everyone
neither is buying a house getting married or having children i feel like we all know
that these are social constructs and kind of arbitrary rules that we made up for ourselves but
why do we confine ourselves in it and confine each other in these rules at least for me i feel
like my internal conflicts always happen when i feel like i'm supposed to be doing something and
making something of myself but when i don't think about that i'm happy to figure it out on my own
and kind of go my own way and that really makes me think is it helpful for anyone or for any society
if we are miserable just walking the path that was already paid for us
so what does it mean to live life on our own terms
it means to choose a life that's meaningful and fulfilling specifically to us
to me this means having flexibility in my time to enjoy with people i love
having a job that's fulfilling but also not being defined by it
and finding other ways to contribute to my community being able to pursue things that matter
to me like creative projects volunteering enjoying nature traveling and being unapologetic about it
it's a loose definition and it takes effort to figure out what it means for you
because no one else can it's confusing but kind of beautiful and i think that's how life should be
what we can do is take a moment to assess the path that we're currently on ask yourself
am i living the life that feels right for me or am i living up to an expectation
do i like the person i'm becoming day after day
how am i spending my time my money my resources and does it really match up with my values
these questions won't give us a solution but they can be a starting point to a powerful realization
and also sometimes this means going against the grain and i know that that can be difficult
because you have to first believe in yourself you have to have the courage and be your own advocate
at first when no one else believes in you but i think it's worth it because in return what you get
is living a meaningful life and you're rewarded with the freedom that you're searching for
for the first time in my life i feel like i'm making all the right decisions to live
life on my own terms and ironically for the first time i have no idea what i'm doing
but i don't feel lost i'm enjoying every step of the way and for me that's enough for now