-The president brought us to the brink
of a disastrous war with Iran
and then today claimed credit for stopping it.
For more on this, it's time for "A Closer Look."
[ Suspenseful theme plays ] [ Cheers and applause ]
Last night, Iran launched missiles
at two bases in Iraq housing US troops
in retaliation for the assassination
of a top Iranian general, Qasem Soleimani.
It was obviously a harrowing moment
with the lives of US and Iraqi troops at risk,
and everyone had that sickening feeling
that we maybe had just lurched
into an immoral and catastrophic war with Iran.
It was one of those moments where you're watching footage
of missiles streaking through the night on CNN and you think,
"God, I hope we have smart and steady leadership."
And then you say, "Oh, no."
[ Laughter ]
Now, thankfully, there were no casualties,
which was fantastic news and a huge relief.
But Trump delivered that news last night
with a very bizarre tweet.
This was all we heard last night
from our commander-in-chief.
-All is well.
Missiles launched from Iran
at two military bases located in Iraq.
Assessment of casualties and damages taking place now.
So far, so good.
-"All is well"?
That's not how you address the nation on matters of war.
That's how a sophomore addresses his parents
on a postcard from a trip abroad.
[ Laughter ] "Hello from Reykjavik!
It's cold here, and super expensive for some reason.
Otherwise, all is well!"
[ Laughter ]
Then, today, Trump followed up on that tweet
and addressed the nation in a rambling speech
in which he claimed credit for ending a crisis he started,
bragged about US military might,
announced crushing new sanctions on Iran,
lied about the intelligence that led to the assassination
of Soleimani, and then urged the world
to strike a new peace deal with Iran.
The speech itself was as dizzying as Trump's entrance,
when the doors opened and he emerged from...
a spaceship?
[ Laughter ]
[ Fresh laughter and applause ]
I mean, look at him.
He looks like Mr. Burns with radiation poisoning.
[ Applause ]
And, much like the alien Mr. Burns,
Trump claimed to want peace,
but the whole thing was incoherent and bizarre.
For example, after he descended from his blue tractor beam,
he launched into the speech
before he addressed the audience.
-As long as I'm president of the United States,
Iran will never be allowed to have a nuclear weapon.
Good morning.
[ Laughter ]
-And...good morning to you?
[ Laughter ]
It'd be fun if Trump started every conversation like that.
[as Trump] As long as I'm president,
Iran will never have a nuclear weapon.
I'll have a Filet-O-Fish and six Big Macs.
And if you were thrown off-balance
by Trump's wild swings
from starting a conflict to claiming he stopped one,
you are not alone because, as usual,
Trump himself seemed off-kilter
and had trouble reading from the teleprompter.
-The civilized world must send a clear and unified message
to the Iranian regime.
Your campaign of terror, murder, mayhem,
will not be toleri-- any longer.
[ Laughter and applause ]
-Yes. [as Trump] Tolera-deh-deh.
I love when he gets in trouble halfway through a word
and then rather than just stop and reboot,
reaches in his mind for what he thinks the rest of the word is.
[as Trump] Tolerate. Toler-ah-deh.
Toblerone.
[ Laughter and applause ]
Trump must have been blinded [laughing] by that blue light.
And it probably only got worse when the speech ended
and Trump went back through the doors
[ Laughter ] and into the light again.
God, it's like that episode of "Seinfeld"
where a Kenny Rogers Roasters opens
right next to Kramer's apartment.
[ Electricity humming ]
[ Laughter and applause ]
This speech swung wildly from bluster to threats
to offerings of peace, to flat-out lies.
In fact, you'll never guess who Trump blamed
for the military conflict he provoked
by assassinating a top Iranian general.
Trump repeated an insane talking point
his GOP allies and Fox pundits
have trotted out since last night.
They all tried to place the blame for what happened
not on President Trump, but on President Obama.
-The missiles fired last night at us and our allies
were paid for with the funds made available
by the last administration.
-In a very real sense, the missiles that we saw fired
on US servicemen and -women tonight
were paid for by the billions
that the Obama administration flooded the ayatollah with.
-A lot of these offensive capabilities you're seeing
were paid for by Obama-Biden foreign policy.
-Listen -- this instant, this moment right now,
is on Barack Obama, not Donald Trump.
-You're blaming Obama for this?
First of all, he pursued diplomacy with Iran.
Second, the guy's been out of office for three years.
He's been busy windsurfing,
whitewater rafting, [ Laughter ]
and gradually unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time.
[ Laughter and applause ] In fact, Obama's shirt
is basically our new threat level meter.
When he was the president and wearing a suit,
things were calm.
When Trump took office and Obama started undressing,
things got crazy!
You ever see Obama walkin' around without a shirt on,
get in a bomb shelter immediately!
[ Laughter and applause ]
Now, needless to say, this claim about Obama
giving Iran billions of dollars is a lie
that has been repeatedly debunked,
but it doesn't matter to these guys,
because they're all obsessed with Obama.
Now, don't get me wrong -- there's a lot you can criticize
about Obama's expansion of war powers
and the national security state and his use of drones,
but it's insane to blame Obama for a military conflict
with a country he pursued peace with.
What's Trump gonna blame him for next?
Is Obama the one who told you
to breathe in through your nose before every word
like a scuba diver about to go underwater?
[ Laughter ] -[ Sniffing ]
-Pssss! [ Laughter and applause ]
But maybe the most incoherent part of Trump's speech
came at the end, when he actually claimed
he wanted a deal with Iran, despite the fact
that he ripped up the Obama deal
that multiple allies had agreed to and that everyone,
even his own former Defense Secretary James Mattis,
said was working.
-The United States will immediately impose
additional punishing economic sanctions on the Iranian regime.
Iran must abandon its nuclear ambitions
and end its support for terrorism.
[ Sniffs ]
The time has come for the United Kingdom, Germany, France,
Russia, and China [sniff] to recognize this reality.
[ Sniffs ] They must now break away
from the remnants of the Iran deal,
and we must all work together toward making a deal with Iran
that makes the world a safer and more peaceful place.
-Oh, now you want a deal?
You already ripped up one and then attacked them.
Why would they negotiate a second deal
with a guy who lies about everything
and always goes back on his word?
It's like if you got one of those spam calls
offering you a free cruise,
and then they called you again and you were like,
"Okay, I'll give you my Social Security number again,
but this time, I'd better get that trip to Hawaii.
I want to go paddleboarding with Obama.
Oh, God, he's shirtless! Run!"
[ Laughter ]
This strategy of ripping up the deal, attacking them,
and then demanding a new deal obviously makes no sense.
Trump's impulsive seesawing from conflict to threats to restraint
show us why Congress must reclaim its constitutional power
and stop any president,
let alone a president as deranged as Trump,
from unilaterally waging a war
or triggering a conflict like this again.
Congress has the power to stop this.
There's a lot they can do.
They can pass a war powers resolution.
They can block war funding.
They can repeal both Bush-era authorizations
for the use of military force.
They could even keep Trump distracted
by tying a chicken nugget to a Roomba
and letting it loose in the White House.
[ Laughter and applause ]
[as Trump] I can't talk about Iran now.
Where did you go?
Where'd you go, you little piece of chicken?
Because Trump and his allies
have been insisting, in Orwellian fashion,
that this act of war was actually an attempt
to de-escalate and stop a war,
that Trump has the power to do whatever he wants,
and also, that none of this is his fault.
But make no mistake, this completely unnecessary crisis
was entirely Trump's doing.
He's been on a march toward conflict with Iran from day one,
which is why Congress has to stop this from happening again.
Last year, for example, he was asked
if he had an exit strategy in mind
for what would have undoubtedly been
a catastrophic war with Iran, and he admitted that he did not.
-Do you have an exit strategy for Iran, if war does break out?
-Uh, you're not gonna need an exit strategy.
-[Laughing]
-I don't need exit strategies.
-And, of course, Trump doesn't have an exit strategy for war.
He didn't even have a literal exit strategy
when he and Ben Carson missed their cues at a debate,
got stuck in a hallway, and just froze.
[ Laughter ]
[as Trump] Well, this is our life now.
We live in this hallway.
I mean, look at them.
They look like extras in a movie
who accidentally wandered onto the wrong set.
[ Laughter ]
[as Trump] What's with all these hamster people?
They're cats?! [ Groans ]
This movie's not gonna work.
[ Laughter ]
And even when Trump does exit,
he doesn't do it with a strategy.
He just wanders aimlessly offstage
while other people are talking,
like a grandpa who's lost at Disney World.
"Disneyland?! But I wanted to go to Fantasy Land!
That's the strip club I went to in 'Nam."
[ Laughter ]
Presidents of both parties have been accumulating
unconstitutional war powers for themselves
going back decades, and of course it was
a Republican president, George W. Bush,
who orchestrated an illegal invasion of Iraq based on lies,
established a secret network of CIA black sites
to carry out illegal torture, choked on a pretzel,
got stuck in a room when he tried to open a locked door,
and then retired to become the Republican Bob Ross.
[ Laughter ]
And, like Bush, Trump sees himself
as above the law and popular opinion.
For example, you might remember that, in 2006,
amid calls for the firing
of Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld
during the disastrous Iraq war, Bush said this...
-I have strong confidence in Don Rumsfeld.
I hear the voices and I read the front page
and I know the speculation.
But I'm the decider and I decide what is best
and what's best is for Don Rumsfeld
to remain as the secretary of defense.
-That's right -- he's the decider.
He could've just said "decision maker,"
but why mangle two words
when you can combine them into one even dumber word?
[ Laughter ]
"I'm the decider, and whatever I decide,
you're just gonna have to tolera-deh-deh!"
[ Laughter ]
So, after orchestrating an illegal and disastrous war
in Iraq, Bush said he alone gets to make the decisions
and now Trump and his allies are taking that logic even further.
Last night on Fox News, Senator Lindsey Graham said
Article II of the Constitution,
which outlines the powers of the presidency,
give Trump the ability to unilaterally attack Iran,
which it does not, and Trump himself has repeatedly insisted
that Article II lets him do literally whatever he wants.
-The president has all the authority he needs
under Article II to respond
and how he responds has yet to be determined,
but he has that authority to respond.
-Article II allows me to do whatever I want.
Nobody ever mentions Article II.
It gives me all of these rights
at a level that nobody has ever seen before.
We don't even talk about Article II.
[ Applause ] Then I have an Article II,
where I have the right to do whatever I want as president,
but, I don't even talk about that.
[ Laughter ] -First of all, you're wrong.
Second, saying, "I have an Article II"
sounds like how a cabbie from Queens would say it
while fighting with a traffic cop.
"Oh, you want to see my papers? They're right here.
I got a Article I and an Article II!"
[ Laughter ]
"There you go. I'm gonna make 'em kiss for you.
There you go." [ Laughter and applause ]
Trump's strategy toward Iran is incoherent and dangerous.
No president, especially Donald Trump,
should have the war powers they currently have
and Congress should immediately take them back
and stop a crisis like this from happening again,
because another disastrous military conflict
in the Middle East is definitely something that can't be...
-Toleri--
[ Laughter ] -This has been "A Closer Look."
♪♪ [ Cheers and applause ]