Sometimes talking to a guy you just get completely stuck for conversation. Today, I want to help
you with that by giving a simple little hack that you can use anytime on dates. It's really
easy to remember to give you instant conversation. Don't forget to download the 12 Texts to Make
Him Yours from the link in the description below, hit that big red subscribe button with
the little bell and I will see on the other side of this
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All right, one question clients come to me with especially younger clients is this question
of conversation. How do I become a great conversationalist on dates?
How do I keep things fun and always
have stuff to talk about? Now, I love this question and the reality is conversational
skills will come with time as you spend more time on dates, as you become a social creature,
as you talk to more people everywhere, including men, these skills will come to you and if
you're 15, 16, 17 watching this video, I promise you that this isn't a question you'll even
be asking yourself in five, 10 years time, but what I want to help you do is speed up
that process, right? So conversation skills will come naturally, but there's some great
little hacks that you can use to speed that up so that your learning time goes down to
this. Now, when I first started going out on dates, I was petrified. I was already in
my early twenties and had no idea how I was going to maintain any conversation with these
amazing women. So I had notes in my pocket. Now, I'm not suggesting that you necessarily
put notes in your pocket, but what I want to give you today instead is a very simple,
quick little hack so that you can come up with conversation anytime on your dates, anywhere.
All right? This little system that I use for clients has a really creative name.
It's called ABCDEF. Yep, if you can remember the alphabet, you can remember this little
hack. So here's what it stands for. A is ask about his passions. So when a guy talks to
you, he's going to be dropping a number of things in literally every sentence about what
he loves and what he does. Let's say he tells you that he likes to watch football with his
brother, and if he's not doing that on a Thursday afternoon, he'll be reading his favorite book.
Right there, you have three topics you know he's passionate about his family, football
and books that you can launch about. So you simply say, tell me about _____. Whatever
it is, you ask an open ended question and you get him talking about his passions. When
you're doing this, it's best to lean towards things he does rather than things he just
watches or listens to.
B is for bringing out his values. So I make sure my clients are aware of what they're
looking for and have a few questions in mind to bring those values out. Now, we did a couple
of videos last month on first date questions, great first date questions and more importantly,
how to slide them smoothly into conversation. So I recommend if you're really struggling
with conversation, have a couple of questions in mind that you know you'd love to ask a
guy and then play with getting them into conversation. It'll improve your conversational skills.
It'll bring out his values and tell you a lot about him and if he's the right kind of
guy for you. C is tell a crazy or cool story. So I, when I was shit scared going out to
meet women and go on my first couple of dates, I had a few stories in mind that I could tell
just in case things fell really flat.
Now, you could argue, okay, well the conversation wasn't super natural and you know, maybe that's
true. I obviously didn't end up with any of those women. However, it did give me the confidence
to have something to say to practice telling a story to them and they were all real stories
obviously. So having a few crazy or cool stories in mind that happened to you as a little bit
of a backup plan that you can use on a date is a great way to have some instant conversation
that the guy's going to love and that you're going to be able to deliver effectively to
him.
D is for do something. I'd find when dates get stagnant, it's often because you're sitting
across from a table in a boring restaurant and you're just stuck. You're just looking
at each other and interviewing and you go, well, we've run out of interview questions,
so do something.
This is why it's important, by the way, to stay away from restaurants on your first few
dates, but go for a walk, you know, had, catch a ferry somewhere. Go and look at some animals.
Just, just do something. The environment will spark new conversation and interesting threads,
which brings me to E, which is environment. There's always things going on around you
and the more you change up your environment, the more you'll be able to stimulate new conversation
with simply what's happening. There's always interesting things happening. I just noticed
I have a bunch of cute little bees buzzing behind me. You notice that on a date, cool
little conversation piece. Use the environment to come up with new conversational threads.
And finally F is for fascinating. Talk about something that fascinates you. Now, I never
used to have F as part of the model and used to just be ABCD, but I found it useful because
sometimes, no matter how good of a conversationalist you are, and I've had this happen to the person
is just giving you nothing.
So the idea with F is, well you talk about something fascinating because you just entertain
yourself. There's only so much conversation you can make with a wall. So here's the test
I use for F. if you could be talking with a bucket on your head and still love to hear
what you're talking about and the sound of your own voice, then you're doing a good job
with F. can I just say how good are lizards.I love lizards. They're just the cutest little
creatures. I get to greet them all day. One time when I was a kid, we had this bearded
dragon on the bottom of that pool and... Ask about a passion. Bring out his values, tell
a cool or crazy story. Do something, reference something in the environment or just fascinate
yourself with the sound of your own voice. Those are the six ways, quick and simple conversational
hacks where you just go, I'm on a date, ABCDEF, which can I use here?
Here's a great piece of conversation. It's really useful if you're struggling and getting
out on your first few dates with men you're nervous around or, or just just learning conversational
skills with. One more thing too, if you are young and watching this video, if you're 15
to 18 and wanting to improve your skills, talking to men, make sure you don't beat yourself
up if you get it wrong. I know it feels like the world is breaking down. If you say the
wrong thing to a guy, but honestly, I promise you, you won't remember it in six years or
even in six months, the skills will come to you and by the time you're in your early twenties,
practice this talking to guys and eventually, you will be absolutely fine and be so confident
around men. You won't even be thinking about ABCDEF.
Well, thank you for watching. I hope you enjoyed the video. Let me know your thoughts, comments,
questions, et cetera, space below. Share the video with your friends. Hit the big red subscribe
button with the little bell so you get the notifications. Thumbs up as always. And don't
forget the texting guide, 12 Irresistible Texts to Make him yours. The ultimate guide
to texting men is available for free and in description. Thank you so much for watching
and I'll see you in the next video really soon.
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