They’re perfect for walking, jogging or just sitting around.
You are probably wearing one
right now. What am I talking about? T-shirts of course!
And that is what we are offering today.
A unique opportunity to own a T-shirt or Hoodie
featuring designs from some of your favourite Mashed cartoons.
I don’t know about you,
but whenever I watch Super Anime Bros
I say to myself
‘Self. This is pretty great,
but why can’t it be a T-Shirt too?’
Well good news for you and me.
It CAN be on a T-shirt.
It CAN be on a Hoodie.
And these are quality garments.
We didn’t find these in a ditch
or steal them from a dead body at the city morgue.
Let’s take a look at the first designs
from the Mashed classic Cuphead: Roll or Die. I know you are singing the song right now!
And look at these.
I’ve felt these and they are soft as the face of a baby.
They should call these baby face shirts
not T-shirts am I right! Ha Ha Ha!
I am right.
This comes in a variety of designs, shapes and sizes
which you can see here.
In fact we have a very exciting guest.
Star of cuphead and one of the most famous living kettles working today.
Elder Kettle is in the house!
Elder Kettle, thank you for joining us.
Oooh having a little trouble hearing you there Elder
but you do look wonderful.
As you can see it fits any shape and the cotton really breathes…
Whoops someone got a bit too excited about the shirts!
I’m excited too Elder!
Here’s Cuphead Roll or Die.
Feeling frantic In the Botanic Panic
We’re the Root Pack Jammin
Now we’re feeling organic Getting full
Eating all these vegetables Potato , an onion
A carrot looking psycho
Goopy Le Grande Kill you in the first degree
Rest in peace with With a boss like me
Bouncing up and down With a gloppity hop
I’m a slippery slugger Put on my boxing gloves!
Flapping those wings All the way in sky
I’m a threatening Zeppelin coming to join the fight
They Hilda Berg I’m on an all time high
Taking out you Cupheads Float up on cloud 9
Come into my floral Fury getting worried
Allergies acting up Vision getting blurry
Cagney Carnation Causing frustration
Dropping seeds On top of you
I bring the pollination
Wake us up inside Cause the bosses own the night
Says the contract that we signed Cause we
Roll or die Roll or die
Rollin
Gamble with our time Because chance is on our side
Will you fold or stack ‘em high Cause we
Roll or die Roll or die
Rollin
Fighting souls ever since Ever since we’ve been some tadpoles
Winding up a punch Double team ‘em take control
Call us Clip Joint Calamity You’ll have to scream profanity
While you’re stacking up your losses You’ve become another casualty
Now I won’t sugar coat it I’m the greatest bound to win
Baroness Van Bon Bon I’m the candy queen of sin
Lacking’ chin I can see it Other demons getting scared
In the sugarland shimmy man You better come prepared
You hang around this pyramid You’re bound to be in peril
Cause the gene don’t grant wishes And this puppet’s acting feral
Slapping cups and mugs around You can never take the heat
Master demon’s got you choking On a streak, always play for keeps
Come into the carnival And hang out with the clown
Beppi doesn’t bite Swear it’s safe so come on down
We’ve been entertaining demons Longer than you’ve been alive
Come and see what happens If you take a ride
Take a look inside
Wake us up inside Cause the bosses own the night
Says the contract that we signed Cause we
Roll or die Roll or die
Rollin
Gamble with our time Because chance is on our side
Will you fold or stack ‘em high Cause we
Roll or die Roll or die
Rollin
I own the air, don’t you dare to try me, better be scared
I got more than just myself In this house so be aware
That me and my son Have got this fight on lock
I can see your time is coming to an end Tick tock ah.
my my my my fire Is burning hot desire
To t-t-t-take you down as These clouds take you higher
But know I got three heads They’re gonna keep you spun
Watch the fire march coming for you off my tongue
Dang you look tasty, now please don't be hasty,
i wanna take you, make you mine, never can leave my hive
wanna come test me? gonna try to contest me?
I’m the queen bee Cuphead nothing can best me
Ha ha ha, Captain Brineybeard here
only got one eye but I can see your end is near.
So give it your best shot To this mighty sea rover
Is that all you got Why don’t you wake me when its over
Wake us up inside Cause the bosses own the night
Says the contract that we signed Cause we
Roll or die Roll or die
Rollin
Gamble with our time Because chance is on our side
Will you fold or stack ‘em high Cause we
Roll or die Roll or die
Rollin
Dramatic Fanatic we’re getting up on the stage
A big wave works its way 3rd phase of my game
They're running away Starlets rage will make you afraid
Gimme an ovation cuz you starred in my play
Werner Werman here Call me a Murine
My Cannon fires loud got shot from a spring Fire streams burning up splitting you at the
seams Final phase a cat I’m controlling its brain
Doctor Khal is back I’ll turn you to scrap
With my robot in a junkyard Shootin’ out bombs
Do your best Shatter his chest
Heart is a mess, trust me when I say My diamond’s the real test
Carla Maria Mermaid of the sea yeah
Fishes are my friends They could kill you in their leisure
Look into my eyes Chill you down to the bone
It’ll petrify you quick Turn your cup into stone
Wake us up inside Cause the bosses own the night
Says the contract that we signed Cause we
Roll or die Roll or die
Rollin
Gamble with our time Because chance is on our side
Will you fold or stack ‘em high Cause we
Roll or die Roll or die
Rollin
All aboard The phantom express
We’re a skeletal mess You got a bone to pick?
Watch your back On my tracks
Before we turn the heat up And watch your cups go crack!
You better think twice Before you roll the die
Cause you got one life So you better get it right
I’m a guy in disguise Wearing a purple bowtie
With a grin so big It’ll make you go crosseyed
You made it this far It’s been a hell of a time
Remember when I said You’d be free?
Well I lied You’re in my house now
The flames they will surround Get ready for your death
We’re going deep underground! Ha ha ha ha ha!!!!
Roll or die, Roll or die!
I love that song! I can’t get enough of it.
We are about to move on to our next design
but hit that link in the description to get your hands on this hot Merch.
Speaking of Hot, what could be hotter than the Hell dimension?
That’s right, our next designs feature the cutest demon killing maniac on the internet
DOOM BABY!
Isn’t he the cutest!?
I love his tiny water pistol so much that I literally just peed a little.
That is how excited I am about this product.
Soft but strong, just like the Baby Doom Slayer himself.
So many t-shirts out there fall to pieces the moment you put them on.
We’ve all been there,
put on a nice new T-shirt in the morning
and by the time you get to work,
the dang thing is ripped,
covered in coffee or even worse,
burst into flames.
Every single time, but not with these babies.
To prove how durable they are
we’ve invited the toughest customer we could find to test them out,
straight from eating and torturing his human victims, it’s the Baron of Hell…
Baron? Hello? That’s strange, our assistant Jeff was just bringing him to the studio.
Can somebody call Jeff? Is he here? Can we get ahold of him?
*Screaming*
Jeff you silly billy, we need the Baron in the studio
How Rude!
Where are you Doom Slayer?
I will rip out your intestines and-
Oh, hey there little buddy!
I didn't know it was Baby Mode!
Oh hey.
It's Baby Mode is it?
Oh no ahh, you got me, I'm dead!
All right
On you go, killer!
You've got a long day ahead of you!
Phew! What a day, huh?
We should be heading back soon.
Iiiiiit's BABY MODE!
*sinister laugh*
Oh nice one Richard!
Aw shi- I mean nuts, I'm sorry!
There, there now.
I think it's bed time for this widdle soldier.
Ok guys.
Lets get back to our posts.
But quietly.
Alright?
*Loud noise*
*more loud noises*
I will eat your soul!
*whispering * I will eat your soul
He is adorable!
Time is running out, so hit the link in the description
to get your limited-edition Doom Baby Merch.
Something for you anime fans now….
That’s right it’s the lean green fighting machine,
One Jump Man!
Are you tired of being a C-Class hero?
Well you are in luck.
With these eye-catching garments, you will climb the rankings from C to B all
the way to S in no time!
It’s as easy as S-A-B! SAB?
I don’t understand how the hero ranking system works, but nevermind!
Play the song please!
(The power lies in my bulge You’ll now know ONE JUMP!)
Big Boos, Chain Chomps, Parabones
Think you can bully Mario?
Good try! Goodbye! Losers!
Falco, Roy and Wario
Champions for Nintendo
Small-fry, smalltime... Zeroes!
I’m the real HEROOOO!
(Green) My sexy dungarees
(Looking Sharp) Check out my handlebar
(Supreme) My death stare victory
(In my kart) A superstar
When Shigeru first designed me, he fell from his seat, starting to Weep Uncontrollably
(HERO) Next level plumber with next gen cleaning hardware
(CHAPEAUX) A stylish timeless fashion sense. On fleek, not scared!
(INFO) By doing absolutely nothing I can win a fight
(AND SO) Dear brother move aside, don’t fight against the tide
Of the next Luigi franchise
HERO (MY TIME HAS COME)
ONE JUUUUUUMP!
Wow! If that didn’t get you in a buying mood
then I don’t know what will!
This limited run is still available by hitting that link below,
But what’s this? Oh? You’re approaching me?
These shirts really put the Super in ‘Super’ Anime Bros.
They come in a range of sizes,
so whether you are tall like Luigi,
chubby like Mario
or just a bunch of green slime like Gooigi,
you can find the perfect fit.
And the best part?
No doppleganger evil twin version of you will step out of the shadows
and kill you to take your place!
Oops, you can’t come in here right now, we are record… who?
But, you look just like me…
uh nani! Urk…
Excuse the noise fools-I mean folks!
This merch is so fantastic
I’m just DYING to get my hands on some. Bwahahaha….
Mario no help me Mario!
Mario no!
Luigi!
LUIGI!
HYAH!
Mario!
I guess this is farewell, brother.
I'll leave the rest to you.
Thank you brother.
Uhhh, nani?!
Oioi.
I didn't think you'd actually jump in after me brother.
I must say, I'm touched.
I've got to admit, I'm a bit of a scaredy cat.
I know that better than anyone.
But with E. Gadd's latest invention
I knew I could FINALLY execute my plan.
You were always the fastest and bravest, brother.
But you weren't the smartest.
And the smartest always win!
Now it's time for a new era!
An era of Luigi!
It's Luigi Time!
Hahahahahaha-urk!
Mario?!
Luigi you fool.
You thought I wouldn't notice?
When you came back from E. Gadd last night
I saw a glint in your eye.
Oh and it was a sinister glint indeed Luigi.
I always knew this number 2 stuff was getting to you.
And it was only a matter of time before you would do something about it!
So right before we left for our adventure
I threw Cappy on a man who looked very much like me.
The fact that you didn't notice the difference was your blunder Luigi.
You were a good brother.
But you should have always stayed in the shadows where you belong.
Oh!
Gooigi?!
Number 1.
Number 2.
Do you even realise what it's like to be born a number 2 to a number 2?
The things you made me do, Luigi.
Go through spikes.
Jump in pits.
And that drainpipe.
That one was the worst of all.
But now it's time for YOU to suffer Luigi!
Suffer like I have!
HA hahahahahaha
Ohohohohoho Ahahahaahhaha
What? What's so funny?
Do it.
WAAAAAA
Wha- wha wha what?
HOOOOOOOOO!
I think the world isn't ready for a Gooigi just yet.
I'll notify E. Gadd of his failure.
Enough of this T-Shirt nonsense! You have had ample time to click on the link
below, simpletons!
Let’s move on to a product worthy of my valuable time…
vacuum cleaners…
This is a most excellent model
and I can tell you from personal experience it can manage the
toughest stains of them all…
BLOOD STAINS! Bwahahahaha…..
impossible for you to defeat me now! Hahahahahaha!