M: It's time for...
Both: Food Adventure Program For Awesome People!
S: The Pizza Edition
*funky music*
M: So I know a lot of you were expecting us to go wanking today, but we had a lot of emails and a lot of comments,
last time when we were saying that we were done with the FapFaps.
People were like, "I really like the FapFaps, I really like the Wanking,
can you keep them both?"
S: So we're alternating back and forth, one week fapping one week wanking, gotta try to keep it fresh,
you know and all vibrant and movey - I shouldn't be doing that hand motion.
M: I was wondering what you were doing with your hands.
S: I'm moving, you know like freshness and spreading the fapping and love. M: Just - just stop. S: *sad noise*
S: So today we're going to try something different, not really a traditional Korean food,
but something that's pretty distinct in Korea. It's Korean pizza.
M: Now we say Korean pizza because this is really its own completely different breed of food.
S: It's got like different kinds of toppings, different flavours, the crust tastes different, the sauce is different,
it's a whole new genre of pizza.
M: So today we're going to Mr Pizza with their lovely slogan:
S: Love for Women
M: Also, it's covered in Nichkhun and Taecyeon oooh! S: Er me gerd it's too dreamy!
M: We’re actually just going there because they have lots of room
so if we go there we don’t have to worry bout like getting into people’s ways and stuff, yeahh~
S: And it's also love for women~
M: To the pizzamobile!
Both: *nananananana*
*funky music*
M: Okay so we have a really huge selection, like look at the size of this menu.
Okay we got the classics (S: Okay) and then we have the ~luxury~ pizza.
S: You're saying that 'Sweetie Pizza', a combination of sweet potato, fruit and almonds
is a classic pizza?
M: We could go for luxury pizza, ‘…is the highest class pizza made by skilled hands with 100% live dough’.
*live pizza dough dying sounds*
Live dough: Why would you do this to-- Dough murderer: Shut your pile!
*punch punch*
M: Well the luxury pizzas (S: Uh huh) we can "enjoy the great flavor of our premium topping more lightly,
Both: and more elegantly."
M: So I better have a butler serving this to me. (S: Okay)
M: Okay, so we've got 'Lobstar'
M: No? S: It's a pun on words (M: like Lobstarr) it's not just a regular lobster, it's a Lobstar, number one.
M: We've got 'Pork Galbi' (S: Okay) that's cool.
M: What is this
S & M: 'Gesal Montand'.
S: Authentic crab and diffuse in your mouth.
I don't want something diffusing in my mouth.
M: 'Secret Garden', ooh~
M: So if we get the 'Montant 4ranghee'. S: 4ranghea M: With a 4. S: 4ranghea
M: "The only chance to taste Mr Pizza's the best selling our pizzas which are
omyRib, Potato Gold, Shrimp Gold and Secret Garden."
S: That's perfect. M: So if we do that we get four different toppings, all different kinds.
S: Uh huh okay we're gonna go for that one. M: Yeah we're definitely going for that kind.
S: Uh the gonorrhea pizza M: The gonor- no, no it's the mmmhmhmm
S: The 4orrhea M: No, no, no
M: Okay so there's gold, nude, cookie, origin and cheese cap.
M: This could pretty much be the names for a whole bunch of members of a boy band. (S: Uh huh)
It could be like, 'Gold', 'Nude', 'Cookie'!
S: I don't think any Korean boy band are gonna call themselves the nude one. M: 'Origin'!
M: The 'cheese C.A.P'!
This is amazing.
You can make an entire band off of this.
S: Okay M: Here we go
M: We figured out the crusts (S: Mm)
M: Gold is sweet potato mousse. (S: Okay)
M: Cookie is aromatic European scone.
S: I'm not sure how that's a cookie.
M: Nude is soft cream cheese.
M: Origin is flavorful original dough. (S: Okay)
M: And cheese cap is rich mozzarella cheese.
S: If we wanna be really interesting we should try the soft cream cheese one.
M: I don't want a soft cream cheese pizza.
S: Well look, this is about Korean pizza. M: No, no.
S: Do the gold one, sweet potato or cream cheese. M: No, I don't like the sweet potato crust it's gross.
M: It tastes like sugar. S: Well people don't know that, people need to know.
S: People need to see what it's like-- M: Hey guess what, it's gross.
M: No, we're not doing it. S: Hey, people need to see.
M: I have to e-- S: The whole - this is educational (M: No) for you guys (M: No)
S: Do you think that the rest of the world is ever gonna see sweet potato crust anywhere else. (M: I want the cookie!)
M: I want the cookie scone.
Cookie, ah- aromatic European scone crust.
S: Fine whatever, you're such a sissy baby.
Do you know how disappointed the audience is?
M: Listen, gold, sweet potato mousse (S: You're disappointing.) is literally a sweet potato
that has been mashed and shoved into pizza dough, that's it.
I'm gonna disappoint you cos I don't want it.
S: So we got our side dishes here waiting for us before our pizza comes,
and we got this one interesting thing that we didn't actually ever see before.
Turns out that because we ordered a cookie crust,
we got a blueberry dipping sauce to go with it.
This is disturbing.
M: It’s like pure blueberry sauce. This is like something that should go on a waffle.
S: I'm not sure if it's that pure.
S: Oh boy. M: Oh yeah.
M: I like how I’m like “I don’t wanna have the gold mousse crust pizza because I don’t like sweet things on my pizza.”
RECEIVES BLUEBERRY SAUCE!!!
M: And this is like a garlic mayo S: It's a garlic mayo.
M: So I could do garlic mayo, or I could go for a blueberry sauce.
S: Who said 'or', I'm saying 'and.' M: *cool sound effect*
*funky music*
S: Our pizza's finally arrived.
You can barely see any crust except for the outside
and just piled with as much weird stuff in the middle as possible.
M: I wouldn't say weird stuff, I would just say stuff that we're not used to having on a pizza.
Sweet pumpkin, broccoli and galbi rib isn't normal to you?
S: Pssh, obviously.
Here's for Shrimp Gold time
*sexy food porn music*
S: Shrimp Gold
Topped with chewy whole shrimps, seasoned with sweet and sour chilli cajun spice
is one of Mr Pizza’s best pizzas.
M: Okay, so original assessment off the bat. Corn.
M: I completely forgot about the corn. S: Corn on pizza isn't a North American thing,
S: supposedly it's popular in England. M: We've heard. S: From what our friends have said.
S: We're not fond of it. (M: *sad sigh*)
M: I just wanna say, I have no idea what that blueberry sauce is for.
S: I'm confused. (M: Um)
S: This dough is, mighty sweet.
M: Shrimp is really good.
So we have onions, corn, hunks of mystery meat, mushrooms, parsley, shrimp, olives and white sauce.
I really like the shrimp, so I think the rest of it's a bit overwhelming. (S: Mm hm)
M: Like olive is a very strong flavor and so is- S: Shrimp and olives I've never had together.
And now for the most important part,
dipping the crust in blueberry sauce.
M: Well my crust is covered in onion and cheese so...
S: It matches blueberry very well.
M: You can enjoy that S: Wow that was so sweet.
Okay, you ready? Blueberry sauce pizza crust.
*dramatic music*
S: Not enjoyable. M: *laughs*
M: I like how there's those two options available at once.
One single crust, blueberry and garlic.
S: That is special.
M: That is.
(M: That is.) S: That was a special pizza pizza.
*sexy food porn music*
M: omyRIB
Premium barbecue rib topped on pizza with original rich barbecue sauce.
Enjoy the popular taste with sweet pumpkin, broccoli and potatoes.
S: So this is our next one, we have a huge chunk of meat in the middle.
(S: One) M: Tomato sauce, cheese (S: Two), onions, green peppers, carrots.
Did I say corn already? (S: No) M: Broccoli, sweet pumpkin, dried garlic, galbi, (S: That's mushroom.) mushroom.
S: 11 M: 11 toppings.
M: That galbi rib is delicious. S: Mm hm M: Wow.
I could have a whole pizza just covered in that.
S: Oh boy. M: It's like so tender.
S: I am genuinely confused with all these flavors in my mouth. (M: Mm hm)
S: I haven't had anything savoury here yet this is all really really sweet stuff. (M: Mm hm)
S: Like dessert meat.
M: *laughs* Both: Oh boyy!
S: Secret Garden (with background *sexy food porn music*)
You will feel as if you are sitting on a terrace enjoying a sweet taste with leisure.
Pieces of grilled chicken breast with colourful fresh vegetables and white sauce is created
for all nature loving women.
S: Now I'm not sure if I'm gonna be able to appreciate this
because this is supposedly just for all nature loving women.
M: Sorry Simon you're out. S: But what the blue Jesus is this? M: Okay we got, again corn (S: Corn!), lots of corn.
S: Cheese, tomato sauce, onions (M: Uhh), carrots, peppers.
M: Zucchini (S: Zucchini), mushroom (S: Uh huh), bacon.
S: Chicken M: Uhh, I think this is basil. Mystery meat and white sauce.
M: This is my least favorite so far.
S: It's... Very bland.
M: So much corn.
S: What's weird about it is that it's not clearly distinguishable,
like every piece kind of blends into the next piece (M: That's what I was gonna say) even though they're all different.
S: There's so much corn, and cheese and onion on here,
that just like, they taste so similar to one another. (M: Mm hm)
S: This white sauce, what is that?
M: It's not mayo.
M: It's sour. S: I think it's yogurt.
S: I'm gonna leave the rest of that.
*sexy food porn music*
M: Potato Gold
A combination of soft potatoes and crispy bacons, creates the premium pizza that is loved by all ages.
S: You sure got the big piece for the last one
M: Uhh S: No
S: This is what you gave me, I gotta stick with it. M: But I would like to request a tradesies
M: We're gonna kai bai bo *[Korean version of "Rock, Paper, Scissors"]* and the loser gets the big piece.
S: I disagree.
M: Well I kai bai bo you and I just won so I disagree.
M: No, no S: I already licked it. M: I don't care!
S: We're married M: I know, it doesn't matter.
M: Kai bai bo!
S: One
M: Kai bai bo!
M: Bo!
M: One one, ready.
M: Kai bai bo!
S: *cries in despair*
*victory music*
S: No, it's stupid.
S: *groans*
M: Mm
S: Has that same nasty yogurt. (M: Hmm)
M: *laughs*
M: And by nasty we mean, not everyone's taste. (S: Mm)
S: Nasty is an acronym for Not All Systematic Tastes... Yummy M: Yogurt *laughs*
S: Woah M: I like the potato.
Yogurt sauce doesn't really match
S: What are those crusty things? Tastes like chips?
M: I think it's dried garlic.
S: Okay
S: Ready to give up.
S: I'm done with this game. M: *laughs*
S: *groans*
S: I feel like I ate just like 17 different meals in one sitting.
M: I feel like I just had 4000 calories *laughs*
Tomorrow we're starting a diet! S: *laughs*
S: I think we're gonna have our final comment outside. M: Yeah
M: Okay, so we couldn't stay in the restaurant to give our final verdict because
we are afraid that anyone who could speak English and overhear us
might cry themselves to sleep at night
M: Alright so... um... S: First of all, (M: Yeah)
2PM, I trusted you, okay.
You had your picture all over that restaurant,
I believed in your endorsement of that pizza.
M: Okay, you know who we can blame for this? S: Who?
M: Nichkhun. S: Nichkhun!
M: Because 2PM-- S: I thought we were friends, man!
2PM grew up in Korea so
this is Korean pizza this is just pizza to them. (S: Right)
Nichkhun is from Thailand and he lived in the States, and he lived in New Zealand and stuff, so he
S: Did he live in the states? M: I thought he lived in New Zealand and the States and stuff
Nichkhunites, help us.
S: Well, what if the pizza tastes the same in Thailand?
M: INCONCEIVABLE!!
Both: DANANANANANANANANANA!!!
M: Okay well we're just joking, we don't blame you Nichkhun and
we don't blame 2PM.
M: Simon are you mouthing that you blame them? S: Nothing!
M: No? S: I'm just singing.
S: Eye of the tiger~ M: I just--
There are other shops in Korea that have pizza that are similar to this as well
it just seems like the pizza's so overloaded with stuff, like (S: Right)
we were just saying, we- we didn't taste any difference in any slice (S: Mm hm)
except for the giant piece of like meat or vegetable chunked into the middle. S: Right.
M: The galbi rib was delicious.
S: The rib itself, I would have been perfectly fine if it just like, cheese and a galbi rib and nothing else.
M: But you know why I dislike it so much?
Because I'm one of those people who when they have a plate full of food,
I don't want my food touching and like mixing together, (S: Uh huh)
and so this pizza slice was like somebody
put a rib, fresh beans, broccoli,
M: and sauce-- S: They tossed it up, like mixed it up
S: and then just splatted-- M: and just dumped it on my plate like S: it on the pizza.
It's just like, it's too much,
It's just way too much.
S: You can't really distinguish any of the tastes at all. (M: no)
And pizza's like one of my favourite foods ever (S: Yeah) so I feel really sad about this.
S: Well don't feel sad, we've tried something different today,
we let people know that pizza here is a little different
than the pizza that we're used to.
S: It was an interesting experience, (M: Mm hm)
not one that I'm gonna pay $30 for ever again.
M: Lets go home and brush our teeth.
And never speak of this event again.
*sad music*
S: I just hold me *incoherent sobbing* M: Come here little guy.
*sad Simon sobs*
*sad Simon wails in despair*
*funky music*