- So little Jemma is like Duncan's best buddy,
and listen to what she calls him.
Can you say Duncan?
Say Dunky.
- Hinky!
(Melissa laughing)
- [Jeff] Say Dunky?
- Hinky?
- It's like the cutest thing.
- Hinky!
(upbeat synth music)
(soft guitar music)
- Good morning everyone!
We have some extra special fun friends here with us today.
The Wiselife's came over and they spent the night,
this is the second night in a row,
and look at what they are doing right now.
- [Blonde Girl] They're painting Parker
- [Jessica] Oh?
(girls giggling)
- [Bailey] A donut!
It's a donut!
- [Blonde Girl] And I'm gonna put sprinkles in it.
- Donut, Donut.
- [Jessica] I want a donut in my tummy, hey.
- Put an apple like here,
and then put like a pizza here.
(Jessica laughing)
- He eat so much that some has to be
on top of his stomach.
- [Jessica] Delicious.
- He ate so much.
- [Jessica] (laughs) love that.
- [Girl] What color do you want your sprinkles?
- Uh, rainbow.
- [Jessica] Parker, what's your face?
- My face is The Incredibles.
- [Jessica] It's really good.
I like the Incredibles symbol, and then the mask.
- To me it's like a clown nose, tiger stripes and like the-
- Did you see, did you notice his lips are not that red
'cause we put the thing on em.
- [Jessica] What thing did you put on them?
- The red.
- [Jessica] Does anyone else have any paint on them?
- Uh, I washed mine off 'cause Bailey's
gonna do something to me.
- Ours can't be faces 'cause,
- [Jessica] 'Cause you don't wanna mess
with all this beauty?
- [Girl] Put some sprinkles on it
with like glitter and stuff.
- Yeah!
(laughing)
- Their oldest sister Gabrielle
happens to have the exact same birthday as Jacob,
and both her and Jacob really wanted
to go to the Great Wolf Lodge for their birthdays
so we have like a big birthday extravaganza
at Great Wolf Lodge.
You can see that video it's already posted.
It's like Jacob's birthday special.
Jemma's in her baby zone.
Hey!
What are you saying little girl?
Oh, you're like an angel!
Are you okay in there?
Are you done with your nap, or are you just taking your nap?
I should figure that out.
Let me see if I just interrupted nap time,
or if she's done napping.
I don't know what happened.
Was Jemma supposed to be napping?
- [Melissa] Yes.
- [Jeff] I think Gretchen went in there
and rattled her cage.
- Did she fall asleep at one point?
- [Melissa] Let's not call it a cage.
- [Jeff] Not yet.
- [Melissa] It's a playard, a cage has a lid.
- [Jeff] Her playard, rattled the playard.
- [Melissa] Geez, it's not a cage, it's a playard.
- So, we lovingly call it a cage.
It's not a cage.
- How can you love, I don't know.
- [Jeff] It's an urbina, it's a containment field.
- It's like a funny parenting term guys.
- It's wheatlat.
You're just containing your child within a safe area.
That's all you're doing.
- It's a baby item.
Like, you're buying it for a baby for safety.
But, also, it's fun to call it a cage.
- And it's not barbed or anything.
It's not electric.
You know, I mean it's safe, that's the whole point.
- [Jessica] That's the point.
- It's a fence.
- [Jeff] Yeah, a perimeter.
We'll call it a perimeter.
- [Jessica] What are you guys setting up over here?
- A little Catan, Settlers of Catan.
One of of the best Euro games out there,
especially starter.
- [Jessica] How many Euro games have you played
to be able to say that?
- Um, many.
I would say maybe twenty to thirty.
But the thing about this is it's well-balanced.
It's not too complicated,
and you can really learn on the fly in your first game,
would you say?
If someone's kind of teaching you.
What do you think Chris?
- Yeah, yeah.
- So, we're going to let the kids
do some more of their painting.
(laughing)
And we'll see how that turns out.
I think it washes off,
or it could be, I don't know.
- [Melissa] Is it permanent paint?
- It could ruin all of our outdoor furniture,
but hopefully not.
It will be worth it,
because we'll be getting to play Settlers of Catan,
and also pokey adults won't accidentally wake up Jemma.
And Duncan is actually upstairs in his crib napping.
- It looks like right now they are painting Parker's chest.
Were they doing that before?
- [Jessica] Yeah, they're putting food literally
on his belly.
- It looked like they were holding him down,
but I think he's doing it willingly.
- Yes.
So, a little bit of an like an excuse at first.
Everybody just woke up,
and we've been having a super slumber party for two days.
So, no everything's not going to look perfect,
this isn't like an Instagram home of beauty.
But I want to show you our set-up,
because it's been a really fun time,
and it's okay that it's not perfect, so be okay with that.
Jeff and Melissa have been staying
in our tall blowup bed in our office.
Jemma's been right next to them in her play crib
that they bring from their life.
And I'm gonna go kind of quietly
'cause Duncan's asleep in his bed.
Duncan's asleep in his room,
but the boys Parker and Jacob
have been using their little blowup mats
that we use for camping,
and they've been sleeping in his bedroom.
And then two of the girls, I don't know which,
I think, I think it's Gwyneth and Gracelynn,
have been in Bailey's bedroom in a blowup mattress.
There's Bailey, and then the two sisters.
And then Gretchen and Gabrielle have been
in Jacob and Parker's bunk bed,
which I know you guys haven't seen yet,
because we're still working
on a room makeover video with Wendy.
So, this isn't complete,
but you'll see they've had bunk beds for awhile.
And here it is.
And, it's been wonderful.
It totally worked to have a bonus,
what is it seven people staying at our house
for a couple days.
It's been really fun.
Okay, but let me just tell you the T.
I did not know my kids were ready for crushes and all that,
that wasn't a thing that had been happening.
(gasping)
It happened so fast.
Because all of a sudden Gwyneth and Jacob come down
in the fanciest clothes.
Jacob's got his hair done.
Jacob actually came up to me and he was so sweet.
'Cause he was like "Mommy, can I pay to have a movie?
We'll do a movie night, and can I pay for it?"
And I was like, what is going on?
In my head we were already going
to do a movie night that night.
And I was just like okay, like where is this headed?
What's going on?
And he was like "Because I'm gonna take Gwyneth on a date."
(screaming)
What?
My baby!
And he was doing it so cute so, I was like, okay.
And Gretchen ran up and she's like,
"They're going on a date!
"And we're all gonna go."
And like the date was Jacob and Gwyneth sitting
in first class which meant the front row
where the movie was.
Then all the other kids were around them,
and they watched a movie.
So yes, that happened.
Jacob, you guys!
Jacob, my precious baby Jacob!
You guys have any updates for us?
- Yes.
[Girl Voice] We drew a witch, a poop, and some scratches.
- And, and he gots some armpit hairs.
- [Jessica] Oh, growing up, is that?
(children giggling)
- And scars.
- [Jessica] Oh.
- He's gots little armpits hairs.
- [Bailey] And a witch.
- [Jessica] Love that.
This looks amazing.
Parker, do you like it?
- Yeah, can you do some,
- [Bailey] A mustache.
- [Parker] No. - [Blonde Girl] A mustache!
(giggling)
- [Blonde Girl] A mustache! - [Parker] Bon voyage.
Bon voyage.
- [Jessica] What is it?
- Bon voyage.
- [Jessica] What is that?
- [Bailey] The weird man.
- It's the baby from Incredibles.
- Oh, I like that show.
- Don't touch.
Oooh, don't touch me.
- [Bailey] So, what else do you want?
- [Jessica] So Jacob drew that?
- [Bailey] It actually looks really fancy.
- [Jessica] It looks really good!
- [Blonde Girl] Two scoops.
- [Jessica] Oh, two scoops!
I love that.
[Bailey] I'll make you look like a tiger.
- So, I just went out and got a little vlog of the girls
and Jacob playing basketball.
And when I came back down through,
I went through the same spider web
that Chris went through yesterday,
but I think that spider rebuilt it twice as gross.
I have to go make sure I don't have any,
- [Melissa] What's gross?
- I got spider,
- And this is Jeff,
or you can refer to him as Daddy Wise in the comments.
- Nobody calls him that.
- Everybody calls him that.
- Literally nobody calls him that.
- It's so weird he keeps insisting
that we all call him Daddy Wise.
- See she calls me Daddy Wise.
- Yeah.
So, little Jemma is like Duncan's best buddy,
and listen to what she calls him.
Will you say Duncan, say Dunky.
- Hinky.
- [Jeff] Say Dunky.
- Hinky?
- [Jessica] It's like the cutest thing.
- Hinky!
- So yeah, she's already taken to call him Dunky.
It's very, very, very cute.
- [Chris] The shading on this cookie is remarkable.
- [Jessica] It's beautiful isn't it?
- And poop!
- [Chris] It looks like a real cookie.
- [Blonde Girl] It's poop.
Scar, scar, scar, I don't know, scar.
- [Girl] He has some armpit hair.
- Scar
- Armpit hair, yeah.
- Nobody expects the armpit hair.
- Gwen did my face.
- I tried.
- [Jessica] You look beautiful sweetie!
- Wow!
You did a great job Gwen!
- Thanks.
Since there was no there was no light light blue,
so I used gold.
- [Jessica] That's beautiful.
Good idea.
Okay, so I'm gonna show you
my really happiness moment of the day.
I am a big fan of La Croix water,
which I think you guys know at this point.
My favorite is the Nicola which is like Cola La Croix.
I love it so much.
If you drink Coke or Cola or Pepsi or any of that now,
you're not going to like it, I'm warning you now.
I don't drink soda,
so for me it's like a shock to my senses.
It's delicious.
It is so hard to get.
I have only found it at Whole Foods,
and even then it goes out of stock all the time.
But today I got six cases!
Ahh!
They had a huge shipment come in to Whole Foods.
I'm so happy.
I haven't had this for two months.
My special La Croix.
- Let's see. I want to know.
- So it smells like soda.
- [Jessica] Yeah, 'cause, yeah.
- Wow, dramatic much?
(Jessica laughing)
- So it definitely has a soda essence.
- Cola.
- I mean it doesn't taste like soda.
But it smells like it.
It smells like Coke.
- When I had it my first time
I was like how is this even possible?
What are they doing?
What kind of chemical poison is in this to make this happen?
And the ingredients still look pretty cool you guys.
So I don't even know, I don't understand it.
To me I thought it was a miracle of science.
Which it is.
Only carbonated water and natural essence.
- [Melissa] How do they get natural essence?
- What magic is in this essence?
I don't know.
I'm gonna be cool about essence.
I'm just gonna embrace the essence,
'cause I love it so much.
Seriously I've shared this with so many people,
and most of them aren't impressed.
- [Melissa] Okay, it is weird.
- But I love it.
- That it says naturally essenced.
But it doesn't specify with what.
- Secret ingredients.
- I'm pretty sure it's probably with beaver anal gland.
- [Female] What?
(Laughing)
- What are you talking about beaver anal what?
- So I am a Pescatarian, and at one point in my life,
for a long time, was a very serious vegetarian.
And there are lots of food that are flavored with,
(laughing) I can't even say it.
- [Female] What did you just give me?
- Beaver anal glands.
- Why would there be anal gland essence in my water?
- There just is in other things,
so I get suspicious when it's this good.
And I'm like that's beaver butt.
Right?
- It tastes good.
- [Jessica] Don't you say that about the beaver butt?
- I don't know.
- [Jessica] Is that a common response to food?
- I didn't know that was a thing,
but I'm never eating anything if it just says essence,
if that's the case and I don't know what's in it.
- [Jessica] It's actually raspberry flavoring.
- Raspberry flavoring?
- [Jessica] Like if you have candies,
or ice creams with raspberry flavoring
it's typically beaver butt.
- I don't even like raspberries.
- We're never eating it again.
- Welcome to another episode
of Jessica Ruins Food for People.
(laughing)
Sorry!
So, we are just over here innocently playing Catan, right?
Here we are playing, except for Melissa,
she's playing it like a vixen.
But anyway, we looked out the window and Jeff was like
I'm kind of panicking right now.
Jeff was like "Why is Gwyneth just lying there?"
And then he went "Oh, Jacob's painting her".
(Romantic music)
- [Jessica] Hi you guys.
I don't know how that young love is working out.
I'm Jojo but if they stay on.
- [Jessica] Got it.
- Pretty self explanatory.
- Yeah, that didn't need words.
- [Jessica] How's the game going, Jeff?
- Fantastic, you're winning.
- [Chris] I've seen better. - [Melissa] Very intense.
- [Chris] You are.
- Hee Hee Hee.
- [Melissa] Does anybody need a sheep?
- Guess I'm winning.
- [Melissa] I have sheep for trade.
I have sheep to trade.
- Baa.
- Does anyone, stop peeking at my cards!
He's such a peeker!
- So I just stole the Ballinger's camera,
I'm sorry, but we're leaving now.
And I wanted to thank them for having us.
We had a great time.
Did you have fun with the girls?
- I think they already know,
but if you didn't know, are you married now?
- Um, no.
- [Girl Voice] What?
- Are you sure?
- I'm not.
- [Girl] There was a whole wedding!
- They had a wedding.
There was like four rehearsals and a real one.
It was pretty fantastic.
- It's 'cause Jacob kept on doing like-
- So I guess they were being goofy.
But we had a really great time, and these guys are great.
That's all.
(soft guitar music)
- Hi, let's talk about what we learned today.
We learned that it's hard for babies to take naps,
when there's a pokey adult in the room.
We learned that nobody expects the armpit hair.
And finally, we learned that Jessica Ballinger
is the ruiner of food.
Thanks for watching everybody.
We'll see you next time.
(baby giggling)
(dramatic music)
- Feel that, 'cause I was--
(laughing)
(cheering)