♪ [theme music playing]
(Narrator) Chromebook presents
Keke Palmer on “The Adulthood,”
a series about finding your way in the modern world.
(Keke) What’s up, you guys,
I’m Keke Palmer here on “The Adulthood.”
And today, I’m gonna talk to you
about how to create boundaries,
practice mindfulness, and putting yourself first.
Get into it!
[doors opening]
[pensive music playing] Okay, so when I was about 17,
things started getting really, really crazy, success-wise.
And it really just switched the dynamics of my family.
[cheering and flash bulbs popping] They didn’t really understand the trauma
that I was going through when it came to being famous.
I was thinking about getting emancipated.
and I had a conversation with my attorney
and he said, “You know you, you don’t have to do this.”
[blocks thumping] “Many people have
experienced with you’re going through.”
“You just have to set boundaries.”
[soft music playing] Ah, man.
Boundaries are the stepping stone of self-respect
and us teaching other people how to respect and love us.
So when we don’t know our own boundaries,
It kind of becomes difficult to blame other people
[ball bouncing] For what they may say or do.
When I was a kid, girl,
[blinds closing] I would just stop talking to people forever.
A lot of those people didn’t evne know what they did.
[soft knocking] I was actually cutting off a lot
of good people that do love me,
and that would want to know how to best be there for me.
You know, if you find yourself in that position,
[sent text tone] it’s no problem with letting that person know,
“Look, I’m gonna need some time.”
And if those people love you,
[received text tone] they’ll understand that.
And that’s why self-care is also so important.
I can say from my experience as a Black American woman,
[ghosts whispering] there’s a lot of
stuff that you have to choose to black out.
[firm slap] And that’s not you being passive.
That’s you paying attention to the goal.
It’s important to add practices in your life
that can help refuel you;
mindfulness, meditation -
it allows the space for you to be objective
to your own thoughts.
Literally, a few weeks ago,
I was in the car with my friend
and we had just came from, like, a lunch.
[door slam] He was introducing me to friends of his.
[car driving] And I think I was kind of nervous.
And I found myself in the car…
I literally caught my own thoughts attacking me.
I was literally in my head being like,
“Who did you think you were?”
“You thought you really had it like that?”
“Girl, you look stupid.”
I just caught myself trying to say mean stuff.
And I just told myself, “It’s not true!”
When I’m active in my practices,
I’m able to catch myself much more quickly
when I start to do bad self-talk.
And when we’re sometimes dealing with so much in the world,
we don’t even realize
all we need is jut a bit of stillness
to help balance us back out.
Just take 5 minutes of each day to sit still.
So just close your eyes,
sitting in the seat, and just breathing.
[music stops] Breathing in 1, 2, 3…
[inhales]
Breathing out 1, 2, 3.
[exhales]
[celebratory music playing] I think these things really help.
And they help you to be able to see past things
that are within our identities that we all have.
Whether it’s being Black,
whether it’s being white,
whether it’s being a woman,
whether it’s being Spanish,
whether it’s being Asian.
Whatever it is,
we all have identity and things that trigger us.
So when we really become in tune
And add those kinds of practices to our lives,
[rain drops falling] that remind us that we’re not a drop in the ocean,
[gentle splash] we’re the ocean in one drop,
it becomes easier.
And instead, let’s put our focus on enjoying the ride
[waves splashing] and having fun with what we learn
through this experience
of being a human being and experiencing life.