All right, I want to talk about time.
Because most of us feel like time is moving too fast.
For instance today is Wednesday.
I woke up this morning convinced that it was Tuesday,
but no, it's Wednesday.
There are markers that make us feel
like where has the time gone, and take a look at this.
So tell us your fantastic story.
This is incredible.
And you're 18, and you're so popular,
and tell everybody how this all happened.
I started singing when I was a baby,
but I decided that this was it when I was like 10.
Right.
So that was the first time that Taylor Swift was on my show.
She was 18 years old.
I remember it like it was yesterday.
More-- better than, because I don't know what
I did yesterday, but I do remember that.
That 18-year-old is turning 30 this year.
Can you believe that?
She's legally driving and drinking and kissing boys.
Not at the same time.
But Taylor-- or Tay-Tay, I call her Tay-Tay--
is on the cover of Elle Magazine this month.
There she is.
And in this article she lists 30 things
that she learned before turning 30.
She hadn't turned 30 until December,
so she's not planning on learning anything else.
Here are a few things that she listed.
She learned to stop hating her body.
She learned that saying I'm sorry when you hurt someone
is really, really important.
She learned how to make some easy cocktails, like pimps cups
and mojitos.
Amen, sister.
And I was inspired by Tay-Tay.
I turned 60 last year, so I want to share some--
yeah.
[CHEERING]
So I want to share some things that I've
learned with all of you.
First, I've learned to stop hating Taylor Swift's body.
It's weird-- that was both of our lists it was on.
Another thing I learned is that it's easy to scare celebrities.
All you have to do is get yourself a talk show,
and get a celebrity and a staff member
stuffed into a little box, and zim, zam, zoom,
and you scare them.
[SCREAMING]
Oh my god.
Zim, zam, zoom.
Yeah.
Also like Taylor, I've learned to make some easy cocktails.
Here's what I do.
I find a delicious tequila, for instance maybe a Casa Dragones
and I open the bottle, and I slowly pour it directly
into my mouth.
Because easy cleanup.
There's no mess.
You just--
Because you know if you don't have a glass,
some people don't have glasses.
You just have a bottle, and that's all you need.
I've learned to always do your best, never be unkind.
Sometimes make mistakes, choose love over hate,
follow your dreams, be true to yourself.
Shake it off, nothing lasts forever,
Strawberry Fields forever, roar, work bitch.
I'm sorry, now I'm listing songs.