what's going on YouTube it's your boy in
here it's a rainy organ spring day here
I wanted to sit down in this vlog
episode and just kind of chat a little
bit with everybody here about something
that I really I have actually never
talked about publicly on YouTube and I
feel like given the hysterectomy is
literally a week from today it's about
time I think I opened up about this
topic
[Music]
oh all right
so before I go I want to have a
disclaimer here so if you're transgender
and trans masculine what I'm about to
talk about doesn't mean it's going to
happen to you this is not an absolute
definite thing if you are not
transgender but you come to my channel
for just informative news and
information this what I'm about to talk
about just because I suffer from this
doesn't mean that every single trans
masculine person will be suffering from
this so I want to put that out there but
then I also want to talk about the large
large group of trans masculine people I
mean I would say 8 out of 10 trans
masculine people that I talked to do
suffer from some form of this and we
don't talk about it in now this is gonna
be my experience and the experience that
I've shared if I say we I'm referring to
me and the hands handfuls of other trans
masculine men who have disclosed to me
that they suffer from this intimate
problem as well all right so now that
all the disclaimers are done I know
there's still gonna be someone who wants
to argue but that's that's fine I feel
better
informing everyone about the context of
this video so that's what's important so
I want to talk about something people
have been reaching out to me
buck angel made a post not too long ago
about trans men's reproductive health
buck and I have been very good friends
we've been talking a lot about this in
our recent chats together and have
decided that this is something we want
to talk about being the open in public
that is our cramping so what I
experienced and the number absolute
number one reason I'm getting a
hysterectomy
is because sorry for listening mom but
at the very peak when I orgasm I
experienced an extreme cramping feeling
more than just when I used to get
menstruation menstrual cramp
and this happens literally at the peak
of my orgasm so I'm I'm orgasming I am
at what's supposed to be life's you know
nature's beautiful pleasure and it
literally feels like someone takes two
knives and shoves them into right here
shoves them into here and twists and
turns them and that goes on for about
anywhere from maybe a minute 60 seconds
to six seven minutes it's very
disruptive to the sexual experience it
makes me kind of at certain points feel
like I don't necessarily want to engage
sexually because it's extremely painful
and it just makes me feel feel
uncomfortable as well as my partner
Janey Lee because she's trying to give
me pleasure and nature's best pleasure
and that always every time leads to pain
this has been going on if you've been in
a super og follower back when I was
living in Florida in like 2011 2012 I
was suffering from these pains and at
that time it was just random cramping as
the years have gone on my pain has
elevated and dipped and elevated and
dipped and it's gone like this for those
five six years now in the last two years
I can actively say and know exactly when
I was going to have cramps and that
would be at the peak of my orgasm at
first it wasn't that bad it was just a
little bit of pain a little discomfort
and as the latin the last to two ish
years it's gotten more and more
drastically painful and the last
probably the beginning of this year it's
been excruciating and it hasn't just
lasted a couple of seconds to a minute
or two it's extended it's painful
extremely for about five minutes and
then it tapers down very slowly so at
least up to two to three hours post
orgasm I could still be in pain so this
kind of leads to me only wanting to be
sexually active at night because then I
fall asleep and I don't feel the pain as
you can assume this has caused
somewhat of a disruption in gently a
nice relationship I wouldn't say it's
like a negative disruption in the way
that it's hurt our connection we are
still sexually active and stuff it's
just I'm a little more hesitant to
initiate because I know that I will
probably end in pain and you know we
figure out our own ways and strategies
in the bedroom but as this baby comes I
know that it's important for Jamie and I
to have that connection time and to be
as intimate as we possibly can and in
order to do that I can't be experiencing
extreme crazy cramps when I work out
somewhere so we as a family have decided
that it's about time I got a
hysterectomy to solve this issue and
that really started back when I saw a
buck angel about back when one was that
back when we had the carnival of love
that I did the Skid Row carnival of love
when that happened I stayed with buck
and he let me stay in his house and we
were just having an organic conversation
and then he explained to me his horrific
story if you're not sure what his story
is you should go DM him and axe him what
his story is but the synapses of it is
that he was having the exact same
problems I was having he went and got
all different types of tests nobody said
that anything was wrong with him all of
his tests would come back great and then
one time he had an encounter I believe
it was in Mexico do not quote me but I
he was in a different country and
unfortunately he had again I don't I
don't want to say for sure but I believe
he had some type of eruption in his
uterus and he had to be rushed to the
hospital and get an emergency
hysterectomy
there's more details to that but again I
don't want to say incorrect information
so you can go to him to get that
information he's very happy to share
this is initiative him and I are really
taking on and I feel like when I heard
that story from him I feel like that was
my big kinda message from the universe
that I should get this when I expressed
him that I experienced the exact same
pain he got an overwhelmed feeling I
think he even got like teary eyed when
he was talking to me that I need
my hysterectomy I need to take care of
my body and I'm someone who I think I
like to pride myself that I try my best
to take care of my body as best as I can
and still live a fun and functional life
when we had this really intimate moment
and we shared a lot of realized you know
he really helped me realize this and
again I really feel like this was a
message that I needed to hear we started
talking and he started telling me how
many other men he's talked to about this
issue and I said at that time I hadn't
really opened up to too many of my you
know closer trans friends about this
except for maybe three four people and
they all have experienced their own
version some was just random pain some
people were having cramping after hours
after sex or a day after sex or an
orgasm rather it definitely was
something that I knew other people were
suffering from and Buc being that he is
in the adult industry he has talked to
many many trans men about this issue
and since we started talking about it a
little bit more publicly more recently
myself and him have gotten a lot more
people sharing that they also suffer
from pain they suffer from bleeding may
suffer from just not feeling well in
their you know reproductive area and it
makes a lot of sense that trans men
don't feel comfortable talking about
this because in the society we live in
right now the penis is an indicator to
whether you are male or not what we've
been talking a lot about is how a lot of
trans men don't want to talk about this
because talking about reproductive
health means you're not talking about a
penis okay and so you're talking about
ovaries a uterus fallopian tubes a
cervix of a general cavity you're
talking about female reproductive organs
and so to talk about that and also be
confident in your masculinity and your
identity as a male person or male
identified person can be really hard
some people are more open about it and
that's awesome and it's not shameful for
the people who aren't as open about it
some people aren't some people aren't
and
to whatever they decide lengths they
want to be open about it is what you
should respect and we should all respect
and so I've gotten questions why I don't
make more videos that are more about sex
or this or that and this is one of the
main reasons I've had you know sex toys
want to talk to me about like sponsoring
videos and I don't do them because not
because I wouldn't like to enjoy some
playtime but because I experience this
pain and I can't talk about a toy when
I'm experiencing pain that isn't really
necessarily because of the toy but
because of my own issues with my body
right now so with that being said I feel
like this is my opportunity to be open
about it to talk about my uterus and
also say that I'm a man and I know that
some people have their issues with how
buck refers to his private parts but at
the same time you know I know that what
buck when buck talks about his body he's
talking about his body that's all he's
talking about putting that aside because
I think a lot of people who focus on
that concept they're missing the point
personally I feel that way so yeah again
what I'm trying to say what buck and I
are trying to do is just start a
conversation we're going to call it you
know trans masculine reproductive health
because that's what it is because it
these are reproductive organs that need
to be helped and paid attention to
because the last thing you want is to
there's ami bird right there
I was super cool I don't know if you
could hear it but that was really
[ __ ] cool always a little gift I was
a gift for me for opening up to you guys
all well you know not just you but every
other thousands of people that will
watch this video we're trying to start a
conversation and you know it's not
necessarily that I kept this a secret I
talked to a lot of people about this
it's just I kept it for more of an
in-person conversation and I kind of
left this the YouTube online world for
for that for this video to make it be
known that like this is what I want to
do I want to be proud about my
masculinity and still be proud and ok
with me being born into a female body
and that's been a hard thing to do this
isn't something I've always felt like
I'd be able to do when I first started
transitioning one change a lot of things
and as I've changed those things like my
physical just my secondary
characteristics that are male my top
surgery I feel a lot more comfortable in
my body and Who I am and I'm feeling
more in line with my body and so I want
to continue to feel that way and in
order for me to feel that I need to be
able to experience my sexual pleasure at
the highest point I can and if I can't
do that then I should probably figure
out what's going on with my body and
just like buck I've gone to
Gynaecologists and I've gotten
ultrasounds and I've gotten pap smears
I've gotten pelvic exams I've gotten
every test and everything always comes
back normal but then I talk about this
pain I have which is at the very peak of
an orgasm then the doctor says well my
muscle is atrophying its cramping down
and because it's not really fed right it
doesn't have what it needs to cramp and
release and cramp and release so it just
cramps and cramps and cramps harder and
then slowly releases and I've talked to
some trans men about this and they say
that they had the same issue and then
they got a hysterectomy and everything
was better granted there is a small
percentage of people who will get a
hysterectomy and could still experience
cramping but a majority of people that
I've spoken to have had
issues solved with a hysterectomy so
that's my story
that's what I wanted to share with
everybody here today that's why I'm
truly getting hysterectomy and that's
also why buck and I want to talk more
about it I've always been an advocate
for trans men getting pap smears and
getting checked yearly getting your
hormones from your doctor getting blood
tests done you know having an average
hormone level testosterone level and not
a super high one I've always been an
advocate of that and that's just for the
health of our bodies not because of
transition-related we are born in these
bodies that don't represent how we truly
feel in this outward expression and so
we have to change things to make us feel
better and that means that sometimes we
may have to take care of ourselves in
different ways than other people have to
and because society is not used to trans
masculine people in larger numbers than
ever before they don't really know and
the same thing with I get a lot of
questions of why I'm leaving my ovaries
in I don't really know any 75 and 80
year old trans men who have been taking
hormones for 50 60 years
I started hormones when I was 22 ish and
so that means when I'm 50 I'll be taking
hormones for almost 30 years and then
when I'm 70 I'll been taking hormones
for almost 60 years and that's a lot of
years I don't know what my body is gonna
be in when I'm 70 I don't know what type
of help I'm gonna be in I don't know if
I'll be able to continue my hormone
therapy throughout my elderly older age
and so we're all just kind of doing our
best to take care of ourselves and
that's why we as trans men in this
community have to be the voice for
ourselves because other people aren't
going to do it and so buck and I are
trying our best to step up to the plate
and talk about this buck is more open
and in-your-face and that's great that's
the type of person I
because for me I am not not open about
it again I'd be happy to talk to anybody
even on a stage or whatever about this
it's just I talk about it in a different
way because I think I'm in the middle of
going through it I hope that like buck
in years past I will be more in people's
face again this is a new chapter of my
transition feeling more comfortable in
my masculinity as I am and I think
everybody here has seen me try to get
better at that and try to be more
authentic the male and masculine as I
truly am and so I thank buck for the
opportunity to partner together and talk
more about this in such a public way and
at the same time I hope that this will
help
maybe Kix are some type of conversation
about trans masculine reproductive
health because it's an important thing a
lot of trans men have passed and died
because of ovarian cancer because of
cervical cancer uterine cancer I mean
all these different things because we
don't feel comfortable going to our
gynecologists because they don't know
how to respect and treat us right not
all of them but a majority if we can
change that perspective in the world and
educate our doctors and gynecologists
then maybe our trans masculine family
will feel more comfortable getting the
services they truly truly need to take
care of their health all right I'm gonna
end the video there I blabbered on for
long enough but I'm happy if you're
still here thank you so much for
listening to this story if you suffer
drop a comment below you know we need to
get this word out if you want to share
this video with someone that you know is
suffering so they don't feel so alone
please feel free
share it wherever you like if you think
that we should talk more about this hit
the like button get it pushed to more
people's in people's faces that's what
happens when you share this video or
liked the video more people see it it
tricks the algorithm you know buck and I
really appreciate everyone's support if
you're not someone who's suffering from
this then you're lucky and just remember
that it's about being respectful of
other people's life and that's why in
the beginning I said not every trans man
will suffer from this but
what I have found with the people who
have come to me seems to be a larger
number than I had expected I felt like I
was more alone in this than I actually
am and so I want some other people to
feel less alone and to keep that
Brotherhood going in this new form of
masculinity we're bringing to the world
as transgender men so I'll catch you all
in the next video love you guys peace