WHEN I SING CERTAIN NOTES
MY MOUTH GOES SIDEWAYS
COME ON, LORDE
FIGHT THE TWITCHES
YOU CAN DO IT!
I HAVE A RARE DISEASE
CALLED "RESTING LORDE FACE"
JOHN MAYER SUFFERS FROM IT,TOO
STAY STILL CRAZY LIP!
I TOLD T-SWIFT AND THE SQUAD
""HEY GIRLS, LET'S HIT THE LOO"
C'MON GIRLS, LET'S WHIZZ WAZZ TOGETHER
I REALLY DON'T BELIEVE THAT SONGS HAVE TO RHYME
WHERE'D ME SQUAD GO?
I THOUGHT WE WERE MATES, KARLIE KLOSS!
HERE COMES A 90'S RAVE SCENE
I'D INVITE YOU
BUT I'M TOO YOUNG TO BE IN THIS FOGGING CLUB
I'M NOT 21
WHOOPSIES
DID IT FRIGHTEN YOU?
WHEN THE BOUNCER ASKED TO SEE OUR ID'S
YEAH, I'M SIXTY-THREE
I DON'T NEED BARS FOR A GOOD TIME
LORDE? LORDE? ARE YOU LORDE?
YEAH THIS UBER'S ALL MINE
PLEASE DO NOT THROW UP
JUST LIKE PROM
I'LL STICK MY HEAD OUT THE LIMO
WHOOP WHOOP!
HEY DRIVER WAIT
WHY ARE WE GOING SO GOD DAMN SLOW?
I'M WATING FOR IT
IS RED LIGHT, CAN'T FLOOR IT
FINE, I'LL KILL TIME DANCING ON YOUR CAR
THAT 5 STAR RATING, I WANT IT
HIT THAT DRIVE THRU
AND ORDER ME
A BURRITO
I CANNOT DO THIS
I'M UBER,NOT SEAMLESS
THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MY BREAK UP PARTY SONG
I'M SODER AS A JUDGE AND MY WHOLE SQUAD IS GONE
T-SWIFT? GIRL FROM TRUE GRIT?
WHERE ARE YOU?
WHERE CAN I FIND SOME HOT GUYS?
NOT TOO MANY PLACES OPEN RIGHT NOW
MAYBE GREYHOUND BUS STATION?
THIS TOILET WILL DO FINE
IT'S THE GUY FROM FUN.
IT'S HARD TO FIND
A PLACE TO PRACTICE MY PIANO
THIS IS AS GOOD A PLACE AS ANY
HE WROTE THIS TUNE
THAT'S WHY IT SOUNDS LIKE A GIRLS EPISODE
CAUSE LENA DUNHAM'S HIS GIRLFRIEND
SHE DONE HIM
HIS PLAYING STUNK, SO I HAD TO GO
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
IT'S LATE BITCH,PLEASE SHUT IT
COME ON VARTOOSH, WILL YOU PLEASE TAKE ME HOME
JUST TAKE A TEST AND GET YOUR LEARNER'S PERMIT
HOW DID THIS RIDE COST ME 300 BONES?
ITS 1.5 RATE,SURGE PRICING WAS ON IT
MY HAIR'S IN MY MOUTH, I NEED A COMB
I ALSO HAVE CANDY, WATER AND BREATH MINTS
YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO CARES ABOUT ME
YOU ARE MY NEW SQUAD BUT JUST KEEP ON DRIVING
DID I EVER TELL YOU THAT YOU'RE MY BESTIE?
ABOUT A HUNDRED THOUSANDS TIMES MISS LORDIE
YOU GET 5 STARS YOU MADE MY LIFE LESS BORING
THIS IS THE STORY OF DRIVING MISS LORDIE"