Welcome back to The Whirlpool, where fibs and fabrications are pulled under and drowned.
I’m Michael Whirly.
Well, it was nice while it lasted!
History, I mean.
I now have a much fuller appreciation of how important it is to have a past, a shared cultural
narrative, a heritage.
I never gave it much thought before.
But, as the old folk tale Cinderella tells us, you don’t know what you got till it’s
gone.
The enemies of Our Heavenly Father, of His Excellency President Trump, of reality itself,
have won a major victory, it seems.
Those enemies — liberals, atheists, cultural Marxists, postmodernist Marxists, other kinds
of Marxists, millennials, zoomers, scientists, historians — have robbed us of our history!
Last week, the once great State of Mississippi removed the image of the Confederate flag
from its state flag.
The bill to redesign the flag was passed by the state legislature and signed by the governor,
who is a Republican!
Very disappointing.
Just goes to show, you can’t trust anybody.
Except His Excellency President Trump.
And the clergy of the One True Church.
And me.
But Mississippi isn’t the end of it.
Richmond, Virginia, has torn down its statue of the great Confederate General Stonewall
Jackson.
Episodes of classic television shows depicting characters in blackface have been taken down
from streaming services.
Now, some radical activists are even calling for the removal of Mount Rushmore!
Why?!
None of the men on Mount Rushmore were part of the Confederacy!
To quote President Trump, who should be on Mount Rushmore, “Where does it stop?”
When will the killers of history have killed enough history to content their history-killing
compulsion?
When they’ve torn down all the statues of “slave owners” and “murdering colonizers”?
When they’ve succeeded in making displays of the Confederate flag just as taboo as displays
of the Nazi flag?
When they’ve relegated blackface to an embarrassing cultural footnote that is no longer widely
seen in the media?
Once all that is done, what will be left?
Is there anything these people do like about America?
[Announcer:] Here’s what you’re missing if you’re not listening to the Father Hauber
Show!
[Hauber:] And now, let us turn to the phones.
We have Reginald from here in Wilkes-Barre.
Reginald?
You are on the air.
[Reginald:] Father, I want to know what the deal is with the Archbishop.
Nobody’s seen him for weeks, the church has been closed, people are saying he’s
sick.
Do you know anything?
Is it the coronavirus?
[Hauber:] Reginald, I thank you for the call.
I’ll tell you what I know: I know there is a secular media apparatus both local and
national that is dedicated to discrediting and destroying the One True Church, and if
it served their purposes, the members of that secular media would hesitate not one instant
to spread false rumors regarding the health of Archbishop Novatian!
[Reginald:] What about the rumor that the Archbishop recorded a video message announcing
that he’s contracted the coronavirus, but the church is suppressing it?
[Hauber:] I know nothing about that!
You trust what you hear on this radio station and on TV on WOTC Channel 67, and take everything
else with a pinch of salt and you’ll be much better off!
Next caller.
You’re on the air!
[Whirly doing a voice:] Yes, Father, I’d like to discuss the recent purging of conservative
voices from YouTube, and my fear that it could soon also begin to silence godly commentators
who have already been wrongfully shut-out from other platforms such as—
[Hauber, interrupting:] I know that’s you, Michael.
Nobody cares about YouTube.
Next caller!
[Announcer:] He’s the voice of the people!
He’s the voice of truth!
And you can hear him weekday afternoons only on the Voice of the One True Church, WOTC
1700 AM!
[Whirly:] The dangers of this sort of flagrant historical revisionism are obvious to me:
how are people supposed to learn from the past if we hide all the parts of it that make
small-minded reactionaries uncomfortable?
What if people want to know what Stonewall Jackson looked like?
How will they know if all the statues are torn down?
What if slavery were someday re-established — and I’m not saying it should be, necessarily
— how would modern day slaveowners know how to treat their slaves?
How best to motivate them?
How to feed them — what do slaves even eat?
Do they even need to eat?
What example would they have to follow?
These are all pertinent questions, but for members of the One True Church, this is not
a hypothetical problem.
We, and especially those of us in my family, know all too well the harm that results when
those in power try to erase history.
We Whirlys still have no idea what became of my great granduncle, Archbishop Fulton
J. Whirly.
That piece of history, of our history, has been hidden from us by the villains at the
Vatican.
How does one of the most popular and beloved religious broadcasters in the country — nay,
the world — just disappear?
We don’t know the answer to that question.
We do know a few things.
We know Archbishop Whirly took a pilgrimage to Rome in June of 1963 to pay his respects
to the deceased Pope John XXIII.
We know he was arrested shortly thereafter on fallacious, fabricated charges.
And after that?
Who knows?
Archbishop Fulton J. Whirly was never seen or heard from again.
It was the mysterious disappearance of my noble uncle, combined with the outrageous
heresy of the Second Vatican Council a couple of years later, that inspired Archbishop Whirly’s
nephew, Edmund, now better known as St. Veritas, to break from the wicked conciliar church
and create the One True Church.
And perhaps there is a lesson there.
You can redesign a flag, but redesigning a flag doesn’t destroy the ideas that flag
stood for.
You can topple a statue, but the legacy of the man that statue represents remains as
long as there are people motivated by his memory and his ideals.
There were no statues of my uncle Fulton when he disappeared.
But we have not forgotten him.
We remember him.
We remember what he believed, what he thought, what he said, what he stood for.
We will never forget.
And neither will he.
For The Whirlpool, I’m Michael Whirly.