-[exhales sharply]
This is a tragedy that is unfolding
and people need to understand
that people that become very sick from this are not surviving
and we do not have any miracle cures or magic bullets
that are going to help at this point.
And today was just a really difficult experience
to see such illness and such death constantly.
People were dying and we're having to notify family
a couple times per shift,
which is not something that typically --
it doesn't happen at that frequency
in any normal environment.
The good thing is that the team is strong
and sticking together and keeping our spirits up.
But this is going to wear heavily on everybody.
And if people don't think that the social distancing
and the efforts to flatten the curve matter,
they just need to spend an hour in the ER
and see how truly tragic it is.
It's one thing to be face to face with somebody
and tell them that their loved one has died,
and that's always, always a difficult thing
but to have to do that over phone, that's a different beast.
And it's a little too impersonal and it's a little too --
it's not right.
Heading in for my night shift.
[sighs] Not much rest this evening.
Still thinking about last night.
[sighs] This is hard.
We're seeing a lot of people with, at least in my hospital,
a lot of people with diabetes complications related to it.
I had one patient who was probably early 50s
had the classic COVID things
but also was having diabetic ketoacidosis
and we were trying to sort of skate
the razor's edge of both of the disease processes.
And ultimately he did not survive.
And it was sort of like really frustrating and really sad.
It's about 5:00 in the morning
and finally catching a momentary lapse in the excitement.
This is -- I want to say something positive.
I want to say something that's good.
And the only thing I can say is that we're very lucky
to have dedicated people that care about others
because this is a disaster.
And it's not just the doctors or the nurses,
but it's EMS, environmental services people, the clerks.
It's everybody.
It's everyone that makes this work.
So I'm just thankful for that.
The last thing that I want people to do
is to just be scared.
Because fear is what makes all of this work.
And we're gonna figure this out.
I'm confident in that.
Another day, back again.
And a little bit better.
A glimmering of hope.
But still, still too much.
Still too much.
You know, a week ago, Sunday was when there were 18
to 20 intubated patients in the emergency department.
And today there are four.
And so, you know, the trend seems to be,
and I knock wood, whatever totem that we would use for luck
at this point, I hope it continues.
But it seems like that massive surge
that we were seeing is starting to wane.
And so, I don't know. I hope.
I really, I really, really hope
because when I saw the numbers this morning,
I was overjoyed.
And it's still -- still four people
that are intubated in the ER
and there are still 80-plus in the ICU.
And it's still not good in the normal terms.
But it's certainly a trend towards the positive
that I just hope continues.
And I'm not even working in the busy area,
the COVID area, today.
It just never ends.