A deep longing for deep emotional bonds combined with their honest attraction to intelligence,
the INFJ personality type is known for their distinctive approach to love and sexuality.
While they’re not exactly the type to be boxed into particular identities, most
INFJs can relate to the concept of demisexuality. Welcome or welcome back psychos! Today we’re going
to be diving deeper into the demisexual INFJ, and why most people with this type can relate on
some level! Before we get into today’s video, we’d love it if you liked and subscribe to our channel,
as well as to click the notification bell so that you never miss a video!
So let’s get right into the video starting with... Number 1: They need an emotional connection
The first and most obvious reason most people with the INFJ personality type fall
into the demisexual spectrum is simply their need for a genuine connection.
Most INFJs can hypothetically see what makes people attractive, but until they get to know the
person.. The tricky thing with INFJ demisexuality is this personality type’s observational skills.
Because INFJs are so interested in analyzing their surroundings and the behaviors of the people
around them, this introverted type may feel like they know someone without even talking to them.
And so, it can seem like INFJs are able to find other people attractive just by looks, when
in reality the majority of their initial attraction is based on behaviors and gestures.
Yet, even then, INFJs may have an interest in someone through their observational findings,
but they won’t take any of their feelings seriously until there's an actual emotional bond.
Number 2: They want to reveal thoughts before bodies
Now, we’re not big on labels.. But for the sake of an explanation, most INFJs are not only considered
demisexual, but also sapiosexual. In other words, INFJs are one of the main types that are known for
finding intelligence rather sexually attractive, completley surpassing looks and social status.
In fact, there’s not many people with this personality type that would willingly create a
physical bond with anyone that doesn’t demonstrate some level of deeper intelligence. Actually when
it comes down to it, most people with the INFJ type can’t fathom the fact that other people can
happily engage in physical intimacy without even knowing if the individual has a good head on their
shoulders. This concept freaks an INFJ out to the point that even the thought can feel intrusive.
Number 3: They don’t want to create unnecessary attachment
INFJs are not only reluctant to let people in, but they also crave consisten harmony
within the relationships they do have. Besides their introverted nature, this empathetic type
doesn’t want to expand or potentially sacrifice their friend-group for a spontaneous fling.
But this avoidance of attachment goes much deeper than protecting their harmony. In fact,
for the INFJ personality type in particular, something as intimate as..well..intimacy, can
certainly serve as a basis for deeper feelings. I mean, they’re not alone here, but if there’s
somebody who isn't showing similar feelings, some INFJs won’t even consider it an option.
It’s not entirely out of fear of rejection, but rather a subconscious measure of protection to
avoid wasting their time attaching feelings to an illogical outcome.. However, this won’t stop
them from fantasizing at times, of course. Number 4: They’re extremely private people
Technically, the term demisexuality means there must be an emotional bond before
any physical attraction is present at all. So when it comes to the INFJ who,
despite being keen listeners, tend to be not such good sharers.. Creating that emotional bond
isn’t always as easy as they’d hoped. They have difficulty opening up to new people,
and much rather be the brain-picker than have their brain picked when first testing the waters.
In fact, like most introverts that are so familiar with their inward focus,
sharing outwardly in any aspect is only fun when you already feel comfortable.
Luckily for the INFJ, this wall-building tendency isn’t usually noticeable to other
people, but internally it sings loud and clear. All-in-all, until they can lift that long-held
vail of privacy, they aren’t able to take their own perceptions on attraction seriously.
Number 5: They’re weary of overconfidence
Nobody wants to feel vulnerable, but when it comes to new attractions and potential partners,
vulnerability plays a key role. In fact, vulnerability and insecurities are one of
the beauties of a new sexual connection or fling..it just wouldn’t have the same magic
to it, without it. But without a proper emotional connection first in place,
vulnerability can come with a whole host of negative emotions. For most people that is..
Because when it comes to people who mindlessly utilize their sexual essence, vulnerability and
trust have very little to do with the process. In fact, these people are so used to the game that
they have this incredible confidence about it.. But to an INFJ, this overconfidence is nothing but
conceitedness, and ultimately ruined all chances with this introspective type. As a matter of fact,
these are the people that INFJs try to avoid at all costs. Luckily, their requirement for
emotional depth is the perfect pre-wired boundary to keep them from mixing with the wrong crowd..
Just another reason why bars and nightclubs seem so damn dreadful to this introverted type!
Number 6: They aren’t interested in one-night flings
Empathetic, highly sensitive, and seriously attuned to the energies in their environment,
INFJs take certain measures to ensure their energy is protected at all costs.
One of the ways they do this is to avoid uncertain energy-exchanges. While some may call it woo-woo,
most metaphysically-rooted INFJ views are surrounding the fasct that sexual energy
isn’t something to be tampered with irresponsibly. While it has the ability to establish beautiful
synergy between two individuals, if you don’t have any other intentions with an individual, it can
cause some internal conflict. And so, hook-up culture is just another taboo interest INFJs
like to observe through their surroundings. As a matter of fact, many INFJs see the damage hook-up
culture can cause to a person, a family, or even an entire generation.. And because of that,
they already have a distaste for the idea before even thinking of considering it! Yet, it’s not to
say an INFJ’s shadow functions couldn’t cause them to do something rather out of character..
Number 7: Their personal bubble
If you’ve yet to unlock the INFJs beautiful brain, don’t expect to gain entry to their precious
personal bubble. Similar to their need for privacy in life, most people with this highly sensitive
personality type are known for their discomfort towards physical greetings and gestures.
For example, even if a close friend began to lean on their shoulder or unnoticeably
sit too close to them, most INFJs would be stuck in a trance, unable to think of anything besides
regaining their personal space.. Sound dramatic? Well imagine an INFJ even considering feeling
attraction knowing the thought of being near someone is much more appealing than actually
being near them. In other words, if someone who, A) Hasn’t shown their uncanny intelligence,
or B) Hasn’t been witnessed doing an incredibly nice deed for a stranger, decides to do anything
other than open the door for an INFJ, you can be sure they’ll be on high alert.
Number 8: They need time to think things over
INFJs don’t make decisions fast, but when they make them,
they’ve considered 99% of future outcomes and are absolutely sure of what they want to do. Rooted in
their dominant introverted intuitive function, this analytical type doesn’t like surprises or
fast decision making because so much goes into their conclusions. Well.. this ties right into
the way the INFJ deciphers their attraction to someone. Like we said, they can certainly notice
the eye-catching features of individuals, but that only goes so far. Are physical attributes
really enough to conclude attraction? How were the people acting around that person? What type of
clothes were they wearing and how often did they smile? Hm.. but what if they like watching sports?
Could I handle a sports-watcher long term? Oh gosh, or what if they have kids.. I bet they
do have a kid or two..could I be a step-parent!? Or.. what if they don’t have kids or want kids… am
I really ready for them to make that decision for me?.. Blah blah blah, some call it over-thinking,
INFJs call it future-proofing. At the end of the day, the INFJ thought process is an
interesting place..one that makes conclusive attraction quite complex, to say the least!
Alrighty PSYCH-Os, that’s it for today. So.. Do you think you could be demiseuxal as an INFJ?
Let us know which reasons you relate to most in the comments below!
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