Good morning from Sydney!
I wanted to pop in and share more thoughts on finding motivation and inspiration in life.
Anyway, I've been doing a lot of journaling and just trying to unravel and decode
why I've been lazy and unmotivated and how to spark that motivation again,
where my true drive comes from.
So I wanted to share some key points from my notes.
Hopefully it might help you.
The first thing about finding your motivation and inspiration is to start with your Why.
Remember why you started.
We all have things that inherently drive us
and these are things that are able to drive us for the rest of our lives.
And it's not a specific goal because goals have an end to them.
Your purpose is something that never has an end
and it's something that will always motivate you to keep going.
My Why's that are written down today are to thrive at doing what I love,
create beautiful and meaningful things, and to empower others to improve their lives.
There are different layers of Why's and I think sometimes we focus on the surface layers.
For example, I was focusing on surface layers of my Why's of
"Make a living doing something that I love, doing something that's fulfilling."
I thought that was a Why that was something that would lead me forever,
and I realize that I'm already doing something that I love.
I'm making a great living doing something meaningful that is fun for me.
I get to have all the freedom and abundance in my life,
and that wasn't necessarily enough to keep me motivated
because there was an end to that.
I'm here.
"What's next?"
I had to realized that and go back and remember what else was a deeper Why
for why I started Lavendaire in the first place?
The deeper Why was: I went through a hard time in my life
and I figured out that I have the power to change my life
and I became so passionate about helping others realize
that they have that same power within them.
It's kind of obvious on one hand.
But on the other hand, you can forget your deeper Why
when you're so focused on the everyday grind.
Something that reminded me of this innate desire I have:
I have this older guy cousin whom I love,
but he does not know how to take care of his skin.
He has itchy skin, dry skin, all these issues.
And you know how much I'm about skincare.
So it just got to a point where I just couldn't stand seeing him suffer
and not know how to take care of his skin that I had to give him my skincare stuff
and create a care package for him.
And that came out of this inner desire to be like,
"Oh my god, I can help you.
You can be better. You can do better."
And I think that is my inner Why.
I think everybody has this inner Why of wanting to help others
in an area that they can help them.
On that note, I think I have to remember that, out there,
there are still a lot of people who are not empowered to take control of their life,
who don't know how to take responsibility,
do not know how to change their lives for the better.
I think I have to remember that there are still people like that out there,
and if I'm able to open someone's eyes, just one person's eyes a little more,
then that's enough motivation for me to keep sharing what I have to share.
Think about it this way: Your Why is something that drives you inherently,
that has nothing to do with how much money you have, how much success you have.
You can be so successful, and this why should still drive you to keep going,
and I think that's something that I had to rediscover again.
The second thing that really inspires and motivates me is to see other women out there –
badass, empowered, strong , courageous women –
who are just doing good work in the world, living their best lives.
I'm lucky that I get to meet and connect with so many of them through my podcast and online.
And when I talk to these amazing people, they are also regular human beings too,
so it empowers you to realize that,
"Hey, they're normal. I'm normal.
If they can do it, I can do it too."
Sometimes I'm stuck in my little world, in my little bubble,
and I'm comfortable with what I'm doing
and I feel like what I'm doing is good and it's okay.
But I see other people doing amazing things
and that actually does motivate me to think bigger, dream bigger, and reach for more.
The last final point on finding motivation again is to think back on a time in your life
where you were super motivated, inspired, and on you’re A+ game,
and decode why you were feeling that way.
What was it that motivated you?
What did your life look like?
What were the details?
And try to unravel it because it might be different for everyone.
For me, I came to the realization that I'm happiest when I'm at my best,
when I am excelling at life.
If I'm honest with myself and I look back at my childhood,
in school I genuinely liked to be the best student and excel.
And I wanted to do that for myself, not to really --
Partly, it might have been to prove to others, but really, I think it just made me happy.
I think I was just confused because a lot of self help texts tell you to not focus on your ego,
not focus on wanting more, more, more,
and not to focus on the external validation as much as internal validation and self worth.
And so I thought that at this part of my life,
I have everything that I could ever need and there doesn't need to be more.
It's not a necessity.
So that's why I told myself,
"Okay, I don't need to strive for more.
I could be happy with where I am."
And I tried that.
And although I am happy, there was that something missing
which made me unmotivated and feel slow.
I think that, internally, I genuinely like to just do well in life.
It's just a drive where I think external validation does matter a bit.
There's a reason that we live in this material world,
and there's a reason that I put on makeup and I do care about how I look,
because it makes me feel good.
And I think there's a distinction between doing it for other people VS. doing it for yourself.
So I put on makeup because I feel good when I think I look good.
And same thing with external validation.
I feel good when I am excelling and doing my best in life.
I had to make sure that I wasn't excelling and trying to succeed to do it for my parents
or to get the approval of my peers.
And at this point I realize it's not about that anymore.
Maybe it was at some point in my career, but not anymore.
Now I like to do it for me and it makes me happy.
So I think you just have to come to a realization that,
whatever you do in life, do it for yourself, do what makes you happy.
Yes, you have to find your self worth from within.
But it doesn't mean that you can't strive for more.
You can be happy with what you have and be super grateful for your life
and still want to strive for more because we're here to live our best lives.
And if you want to live your best life, you always should be doing your best.
I think the reality was I wasn't doing my best.
I felt like I could rest on my laurels.
I felt successful enough to be like, "Okay, I can kick back
and not worry about where my money's going to come from or whatever."
And although it's nice to rest a little bit, it's not okay to stay there forever
because you're just going to get complacent and it's just going to go downhill.
I believe if you're not going uphill, you're going downhill.
So the harsh reality is: I think you do get lazy because you're afraid to try hard.
You're afraid to fail, because if you were try hard at being your best,
there is an opportunity for failure and disappointment.
And maybe being lazy and unmotivated is a way to avoid that failure, avoid that fear.
This reminds me of a quote that I've always heard but I never fully, fully understood it.
It's by Marianne Williamson.
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us."
I never fully understood that quote
because I'm like, "Why would we be afraid to be great?"
Isn't that the goal?
You want to be amazing and great and everything.
But now I think I understand it a bit more, that it's hard to be great.
It's hard to be your best and it's scary to do that.
So I think most of us shy from doing our best.
We shy away from trying hard because when you try really hard you might fail and fall.
And that looks embarrassing.
It's just scary.
There's a continuation of this quote that I love.
She says, "Your playing small does not serve the world."
Your playing small does not serve the world.
And that is a harsh truth because most of us do play small.
Most of us do take the comfortable, less risky route,
because it's safer and it's easier to do that.
The scary thing is to step fully in your light and be your best self,
present your best self and just try your best,
because when you try really hard, you're prone to failure.
So I think this is just a deep reminder that if you're feeling unmotivated or lazy or uninspired,
that it's probably rooted in a fear of some sort.
And I hope that you find it within yourself to be courageous enough
to step out of that and be the best self that you can be,
because you deserve that and the world deserves it too.
The world needs you to step up and be your best and shine your light.
So it's totally okay and normal to feel unmotivated and down at times,
but just know to not stay there for so long.
Now you know where you can look to for some spark in your life.
Start with your Why.
Look to people that inspire you.
And remember that you are a light and you have capacity to be amazing.
And don't shy away from that.
Don't play small, don't be too safe.
Just go out there and be your best.
Try your best because you deserve it and the world needs what you got.
Alright, on that note, I'm signing off.
Love you guys so much!
Bye!