(upbeat music)
- Therapist Reacts, today we're gonna talk about
honoring the choices of others.
Even if we don't agree with them
honoring that they have free will and can make choices
for their own lives.
And what better example can we find than David Archuleta.
David Archuleta you may know,
as a finalist on American Idol several years ago,
quite a few years ago, but he was very popular at the time.
And then he faded from the public eye,
but in his own religious community,
man was a superstar and has been ever since.
David is a practicing member
of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
also known as the Mormon Church.
A faith that is known for its staunch support
and promotion of the nuclear family,
of the traditional family.
It's trying to mend its relationship
with the LGBT community,
but there are bridges that are hard to build.
Because doctrinally that faith states that
marriage is between a man and a woman,
and sexual activity is reserved for marriage.
And so members of the faith
are expected to live celibate lives outside of marriage.
And if you are LGBTQ+
that means if you're gonna be devout in the faith,
you're gonna be celibate forever, because obvious reasons.
So David comes out
and he talks about the need for compassion,
how his faith is a huge part of him.
And it gives him a lot of peace and meaning and joy.
And he prayed for God to take these feelings away.
And to some people that's repugnant, they're saying,
why would you do that?
Embrace who you are and be with a man or be with a woman.
And they'd say God made you this way.
While others would say,
we admire you for sticking to your values.
And there's just gonna be war between these two factions.
In fact, it's already brewing
people who are more traditional believers
see David as somebody who can be a poster child,
a rallying point for staying true to the faith
even when you have these urges.
People who are LGBTQ+ and part of that community
and living it openly are wanting him to free himself
from the shackles of his faith
and saying it's so sad and it's so depressing.
And now we've got a tug of war with him in the middle,
and everyone kind of wants him to go their way
and to his credit.
And I don't mean to his credit as in,
you should agree with his position, but to his credit
and as far as the personal strength,
he's not letting any of the voices dictate his decision.
He said that his faith and his beliefs and his sexuality
are both part of who he is.
And he does recognize that God made him this way,
and he's no longer praying for the emotions to go away,
but that he's trying to navigate both.
And it seems to many an impossibility,
but here's the point I wanna get to.
No matter what he chooses to do with his life,
it's his choice.
And both sides
I see tend to value personal choice as long as people choose
what they think is right.
The traditional religionists who are saying
David you're a hero
'cause he said people in my faith and leaders in my faith
have actually been very supportive and loving and caring.
Now in the interest of full transparency,
I'm also a member of that faith
of the Latter-day Saints faith.
And while I am not LGBTQ+
I see the beauty in the relationships,
the marriages, the romance, the companionship,
the family they're valid in my eyes.
Like I was raised to be honest,
that was part of my religious upbringing,
was the importance of honesty.
And I spend time with LGBTQ+ couples,
and I have to honestly admit their love is beautiful to me.
And so I'm trying to navigate the waters myself,
because on the flip side,
there are experiences that I have had
that I find to be sacred.
That guide me to stay in the lane that I'm in
and do as much good as I can there.
And that people who are devoutly traditionally religious
sometimes have a hard time seeing
the beauty of people who are living
and believing differently.
But the reverse is also true.
A lot of members of the LGBTQ+ community,
they see traditional religionists and they see bigots,
and they see hatred,
and they see subjugation and mind control.
And they see people who are miserable and trapped
while that may be true for some people,
a lot of people find a lot of joy in their beliefs.
David Archuleta is one of them.
So how do we navigate this?
Well, he's gonna navigate it however he chooses to,
he may go straight down the middle and he says,
I'm gonna be celibate unless and until I get married.
And some people are upset with him for this.
He may say,
I don't choose to practice this religion anymore.
And the people who are supporting him in the faith, now,
some of them may turn on him.
He may say,
I'm going to practice my faith
in people in the LGBT community
who are wanting to welcome him, may say he's a traitor.
But all of us have to choose the path we want to walk.
There are people who are not LGBTQ+
who choose religious celibacy for various reasons.
Just because a path isn't one you agree with,
or you would choose yourself
doesn't mean it won't lead to happiness for someone.
Or even if you think they're wrong
and they're going to be miserable,
that it's not their right to make that choice.
We do best when we make room at the table for everybody.
And we honor each other's choices
and we learn from one another, why this is right for you.
Why do you believe this, why do you see it this way?
David, I honor you,
and I honor whatever choice you're going to make.
I'm Jonathan Decker, licensed therapist with Mended Light.
If you like this,
check out this other video on Brittany Spears
and her father's conservatorship an my reaction to that.
Give me a sound off in the comments about
tradition versus or progressivism and all these things and,
and what you're thinking of David Archuleta
and what you think of my thoughts.
And if you disagree or agree,
or you have anything to add, I'd love to hear it.
Like subscribe, click the bell, to get our new videos.
I'm Jonathan Decker with Mended Light.
Let your light shine because we need it, bye.
(upbeat music)