The INFJ personality type happens to be one of the most misunderstood personality types
due to them being so uncommon. Honestly, how can we blame them, though? A little too caring,
too attentive, a bit sensitive, and a little too idealistic INFJs, living in a society
where qualities like extrovertedness, reasonable acceptance of criticism, and standing up for
yourself are highly appreciated and demanded, it can be a little hard for an INFJ to thrive
and be liked by people at the same time.
Today I’m talking about the top 7 reasons why it can be hard to tolerate an INFJ. Let’s
get into it.
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Kicking things off and number 7 on today’s list of reasons why people can't handle an
INFJ is they are sensitive to criticism.
If you have a Clingy friend who pays a little too much attention to your every move, rarely
takes no for an answer, and gets sentimental over things for no reason, then you might
know exactly what I'm talking about.
And that also might mean that your friend is an INFJ. One of the most common traits
of an INFJ is that They are quite sensitive to criticism. In fact, if you tell your INFJ
friend that their cooking can be improved, chances are that they will forever think of
you whenever they are cooking. And not in a good way. The INFJ personality type is known
to take criticism personally and get offended over it, even if it is constructive criticism.
Due to their extremely thoughtful and observant nature, because of their extroverted feeling,
they happen to be giant people pleasers and that means that they will never tell other
people how something has been hurtful towards them or how they need to change an offensive
habit. An INFJ typically doesn't get that same treatment in return. Because they are
such deep feelers and use their feelings to help them make decisions, expecting logic
from an INFJ in reaction to constructive criticism is like expecting pizza to fall from an apple
tree. This can be a challenge for others, especially thinkers who use logic, facts,
and rationality as opposed to emotions.
Next up and number 6 is INFJs are scary observant.
Some people like attention, while others don’t. Some people like it when people take interest
in their matters and ask them questions, as it makes them feel valued and important. On
the other hand, some people consider it overstepping the boundaries and unnecessary interruption.
The INFJ personality type doesn’t recognize the difference between the two. Due to being
extremely affectionate, sincere, and thoughtful, they always want the people around them to
be happy and feel valued. For this reason, they tend to take a little too much interest
in their friends’ activities and business, and that might make them come off as clingy
or nosy people. Some people might like the fact that their INFJ friend is observing them
and keeping note of their likes and dislikes, while others consider it to be nosy and annoying.
The worst part is that it can be challenging to tell them to give you some space. As I
mentioned earlier, Expecting a positive reaction from an INFJ person in response to constructive
criticism Isn’t necessarily the wisest thing to do.
The 5th reason why it can be hard to handle and INFJ is because They are extreme overthinkers.
Due to being introverted, the INFJ personality type isn’t a fan of sharing their problems
and struggles with other people. Being intuitive, They prefer sitting alone with their thoughts
and letting their unbridled mind wander at will. This is also a big reason why an INFJ
rarely appreciates themselves.
They always want something better for themselves as their potentially toxic habit of overthinking
makes them skip the good aspects of their life that they should value and appreciate,
and they end up being sad about the things that they don’t have and how they need to
improve themselves.
An INFJ needs to understand that self-improvement to a certain extent is very good for them
but, beyond that, it can result in serious burnout and can also take a toll on their
physical and mental health. As I mentioned earlier that they are introverted by nature,
therefore, they also avoid talking about their problems with other people. Due to being extremely
sincere and thoughtful, they feel like they are burdening other people with their own
problems so, they avoid telling their issues and struggles to their friends.
This can be a challenge for others to deal with when they have no idea what is going
on or what the problem is and just see a moody and gloomy person standing in front of them.
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Next up and number 4 on our list today is they are an absolute perfectionist.
The INFJ personality type is known to be a perfectionist by nature, to an almost annoying
extent. In fact, if your roommate is an INFJ then good on you, Because you probably won’t
be able to find much peace. There will be constant, subtle, and then gradually more
and more annoying reminders of how you need to fold your clothes, clean your stuff or
make your bed.
An INFJ is a stubborn perfectionist in a world where being a little flexible might help you
move up the social hierarchy. An INFJ will achieve anything they set their minds to and
thwart whatever stands in their way.
Again, being a perfectionist to a certain extent is okay, but not at the cost of your
own peace and the privacy and independence of the people around you. Not everyone shares
an INFJs need for perfection and for those people, it can be incredibly difficult to
live up to an INFJs extremely high standards.
Starting our top 3 today is they are reluctant to open up.
You know that they are introverted, you know that they love to overthink, then obviously
it means that it's hard for them to open up to other people. Everyone knows how thoughtful,
caring, and observed the INFJ personality type is, that is pretty much the reason why
they think a dozen times before sharing their personal issues and struggles with other people.
Yes, they fear judgment and think that other people will not be as thoughtful and sincere
towards them but at the same time, they are also worried that they might be a reason behind
someone being bothered or anxious.
However, INFJs are only human, and their emotions must eventually surface. And when they do,
it's practically a massive avalanche that no one saw coming. Often coming across as
almost Jekyll and Hyde. Beyond that, they will almost certainly feel
guilty afterward. Everyone has their own issues, and INFJs shouldn't be burdening others with
theirs, should they? Wrong. It's important for INFJs to remember that expressing their
feelings is beneficial, even if it is hard for others to understand.
In the runner-up spot and number 2 is, it's never fight mode, it's always flight mode.
No one hates confrontation as much as an INFJ does. As I have mentioned earlier that they
are a little too emotional and sentimental, therefore, you cannot expect them to argue
logically without being offended or getting personal, they always seem to find a way to
make things emotional.
This is why it is said that the iron of their personality type doesn’t have the fight
mode, they always have the flight mode. If you are in a relationship with an INFJ or
one of your family members is an INFJ, then you know that whenever you argue with them,
they will storm out of the room and make a fuss about something that can be resolved
easily with the help of a mature conversation. I’m not saying that the INFJ personality
type is immature, it’s just that they do not have the patience, emotional Strength,
or tendency to take positive criticism in a healthy way.
One thing INFJs should remember is that what they perceive as a frightening disagreement
to them may appear to be a harmless debate to others. Someone who thinks they're proving
their case in an emotionally neutral way, an INFJ might think they are raising their
voice in fury, for example. This is not to mean that INFJs should allow people to bulldoze
their limits or force themselves to stay in dangerous situations. However, they need to
learn to understand when they are overreacting to confrontation and how to reduce their fight
or flight response.
Topping our list and the number 1 reason it's hard to handle an INFJ is they ignore self-worth
and are people-pleasers.
We live in a society, where compromising on some things and being a little flexible is
important, but at the same time, taking a stand for yourself, knowing your limits, and
telling other people your limits is also extremely Essential. Fortunate for some people and unfortunate
for others, the INFJ personality type only really does the first thing.
Making your self-worth known to other people, setting boundaries, learning to say no, is
something that an INFJ personality type rarely does. The fact that they are extremely considerate,
thoughtful, and sensitive when It comes to handling other people's emotions also comes
into play, as they consider breaking someone else’s heart a million times worse than
breaking their own.
As a result, When an INFJ isn't paying attention to their own needs, like anything, it will
reach a breaking point. When that happens an INFJ will have crazy outbursts of emotion
that aren’t typical for them. Obviously, this can be quite confusing and hard for others
to deal with given that this isn’t typical behavior for an INFJ.
Because INFJs are such unique people, they may be hesitant to interact with those who
do not understand or appreciate them, making them difficult to get to know and deal with.
They want to get along with people and help them achieve their goals, but they are strongly
devoted to their own set of values and will not follow others down a path that does not
feel genuine to them.
When it comes to negotiating interpersonal issues, addressing harsh facts, or achieving
self-realization, even the most idealistic and dedicated personality types can become
overwhelmed and hard to deal with.
What are your thoughts on these reasons why people can't handle an INFJ? Are there any
you want to add to the list? Leave a comment and let me know.
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