We all know about Pennywise and the Killer Klowns from Outer Space,
but have you ever heard of Porcelain? What about the Funny Man?
Here are some of the creepiest clown movies you probably haven't seen before.
Working for a sex-chat company is a difficult enough job already, but 1988's "Out of the Dark"
introduces a new obstacle to the employees of one particular hotline: a killer in a clown mask.
"Out of the Dark" is a pretty standard slasher,
centering around a madman called Bobo the Clown who's obsessed with sex and sex workers. This
solid, low budget thriller feels like something you'd see on Cinemax on a Tuesday night — but
in a good way. It's not overloaded with misdirection or red herrings, but it still
keeps audiences guessing who's actually behind that creepy mask up until the dramatic finale.
"Out of the Dark" may not be very popular, but that doesn't mean there aren't plenty
of recognizable faces to be found. Karen Black, Tracey Walter, Bud Cort, Cameron Dye,
and legendary character actor Geoffrey Lewis all make appearances.
Toss in Paul Bartel and a brief appearance by Divine,
and you have a movie that's guaranteed to keep you entertained – provided you enjoy
gory murder mysteries, naked women, clown masks, low budgets, and actors who are mostly dead now.
Not all haunted houses are infested with ghosts. In "Funny Man," a record producer
has to protect his family from the strange demonic jester that lives in their new home.
He may stretch the definition of "clown" a little, but the titular "funny
man" is a creepy goblin who just wants to have a fun time with everyone he meets.
As gory as it can get at times, "Funny Man" is a comedy first and foremost
thanks to Tim James' unhinged, fourth wall-breaking performance. There's also
an appearance by the legendary Christopher Lee as the haunted house's previous owner.
"You're a funny man, Mr. Taylor. But I've met funnier… and so will you."
"Funny Man" is an extremely British film, with an abundance of jokes that might go over your head
if you don't hail from the Isles. There's some odd choices made, like an inexplicable parody
of Velma from "Scooby-Doo," but it's still an explosive romp that's sure to entertain.
A love triangle with plenty of blood, bullets, and face paint, "The Last Circus" follows Javier
the Sad Clown and Sergio the Happy Clown as they battle for the affection of a beautiful acrobat.
Assault, swordplay, and machine guns might all seem out of place in a circus movie,
but "The Greatest Showman" this is not. Set primarily in Spain during the year 1973,
"The Last Circus" focuses on the men behind the white makeup, and the inner struggles they deal
with as entertainers. The clowns here come across as much more human than the others on this list,
but that doesn't make them any less monstrous.
Writer-director Alex de la Iglesia expertly balances the happy with the
sad in this Spanish language film. "The Last Circus" blends drama and
horror with pitch black comedy, making for a real roller coaster of a viewing experience.
What's worse than being hunted by a killer clown? Becoming a killer clown. 2014's "Clown"
follows a father who puts on an old costume for his son's birthday,
only to discover that it's impossible to take off — and that it's changing him from within.
Don't let Eli Roth's producer credit scare you away from "Clown":
the "Hostel" director came aboard mostly as a marketable name.
No, this is Jon Watts' baby: the very same Jon Watts who directed all three
Tom Holland "Spider-Man" movies. Watts' debut feature is certainly different from
his efforts in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, but that doesn't mean it's not worth your time.
"Clown" combines body horror with family strife as Kent McCoy transforms from a mild-mannered
real estate agent to a child-eating monster. As the metamorphosis continues and the bodies
start to pile up, Kent's wife and son have to see if they can rescue him from himself.
"No matter what I say, you don't let me out."
Without a doubt, the most exciting part of the movie is the extended sequence
set in a Chuck E. Cheese arcade and playplace. There's so much bloody havoc in the Fun Zone,
it makes you wonder if anyone at Chuck E. Cheese actually signed off on it.
"Found footage" plot devices are definitely overdone in horror movies, but they can be
extremely frightening when they're done right. One movie that definitely does it right is "The Houses
October Built," which follows a group of friends documenting their search for the scariest haunted
house in America. Unfortunately for them, they find exactly what they're looking for.
There's all sorts of creeps in "The Houses October Built," but none are creepier than the clowns. The
most memorable monster in the movie is Porcelain, a girl dressed like a clown doll who seems to
follow the protagonists as they venture from haunt to haunt. While it looks at first like she's a
paid scare actor, her later appearances bring her true motives into question. Whatever she's up to,
it seems to have something to do with the mysterious collective known as Blue Skeleton.
If you're a fan of "The Houses October Built," be sure to check out its sequel, which features the
group of friends from the original hitting the road once again to try and uncover the truth.
"The Funhouse Massacre" is exactly what it sounds like: a group of violent, mentally disturbed
patients escape their institution and set up shop in a local Halloween funhouse. A massacre ensues.
This is a fun little flick for horror fans that manages more than a few thrills and giggles as
six escaped inmates go to town on an unsuspecting populace. Our bloodthirsty madmen — and woman —
pick off visitors to the funhouse one by one until a spunky band of survivors fight to stay alive.
It's a bloody movie that manages lots of brutal deaths without ever feeling too grim or stressful.
One of the highlights of "The Funhouse Massacre" is the cast, which features a few familiar faces
on the side of evil. Robert Englund pops in as the warden of the asylum, and he's right at home in
the campy role. Meanwhile, Clint Howard and Jere Burns play two of the six featured psychopaths,
bringing as much personality and charisma as they can to characters called "The Taxidermist" and
"Mental Manny." Even the less familiar faces engage in plenty of mayhem, from a deranged
dentist to several clowned-up wackos who smile as they tear flesh and break bones. If you're a fan
of the works of Rob Zombie, you'll probably get some chaotic enjoyment out of this one.
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