- [Amanda] After a long day at work,
you receive a call from a friend.
This is a friend who was nowhere to be found
when you needed her,
but she constantly asked you for favors.
You dread these phone calls, but you still pick up.
Hey, Susie, what's up?
- Hi, I need you to send me your homework.
I forgot to do mine.
- [Amanda] This is the sixth time that this has happened.
Even though you're exhausted from work,
and you hate it so much
that she constantly asks you for favors
that she is capable of doing herself,
you reply, yeah, of course, I'll send it over now.
- Thank you.
- [Amanda] You just wish that she would grow up,
and realize that she is responsible for her own life.
But if you hate it so much, why did you say yes?
It's because you're a good person,
and you don't wanna cause any conflict, right?
The truth is no.
Even though you think that you're doing this out of kindness
and care for your friend,
the truth is you are being unkind to yourself,
not giving yourself the self-respect you deserve.
So now, what is self-respect?
Here are eight pillars of self-respect.
See how many you cross off.
Number one, I'm my own best friend.
Having self-respect means knowing how to respect
and befriend yourself.
Showing others that you treat yourself
the way you treat someone you love
is one of the strongest signs that you have
a high level of self-respect.
Being kind and caring,
and maintaining a healthy relationship with yourself
are all great habits to practice, to have more self-respect.
Others who see this are more likely to treat you
with more respect,
because gaining respect from others
starts from having self-respect.
Number two, I know my priorities.
When faced with difficult situations,
a person with self-respect sticks to their priorities.
For example, let's say you have a choice
between attending a party
that might heighten your social status,
or staying home and babysitting your younger sibling
that you promised your parents you would.
If keeping the family obligations is a higher priority
than increasing your social status,
you may choose to keep your responsibilities,
and sacrifice the fun for the time being.
Not only would you be reinforcing to yourself
that you have self-respect,
but others will also respect you
for being confident in your decisions,
and not being swayed by outside influences.
Number three, I respect others.
Those with high respect show respect to everyone,
regardless of class, age, gender, sexuality, et cetera.
CEOs and political leaders know that showing respect
to those in less powerful positions
is one way to gain respect from others,
because they have enough self-respect
to know they gain others respect
by the way they treat others,
not purely through their high level positions.
Number four, I know when I'm in the wrong,
and can show humility by apologizing.
One of the best combinations
found in the most self-respecting leaders
includes both confidence and humility.
Remember that knowing you are always growing,
and have room for improvement is a sign of self-respect.
Number five, I maintain healthy boundaries.
A self-respecting person
understands that their time and energy are valuable.
They're more likely to invest those things in people,
and activities that bring them true fulfillment.
Instead of cutting out toxic people from life,
or immediately going cold turkey on activities
you know don't support you,
find ways to gradually create boundaries
that'll help bring you more inner peace.
With practice, you'll learn to trust yourself
in weeding out what is toxic from your system.
And with more self-trust comes more self-respect.
Number six, I stand by my values, regardless of a witness.
True self-respect is holding yourself to values, morals,
and ethics, whether or not others are there to witness.
When your words and actions are rooted in integrity,
you will naturally gravitate
towards a self-respecting mindset.
Integrity is the voice within
that is most grounding in the whirlwind
of tempting influences.
Follow it wisely,
and you'll always find yourself in a place of self-respect.
Number seven, I know I have reasons to love myself.
An easy exercise for developing more self-respect
is writing down characteristics and traits
that make you feel highly valuable,
and worthy in your own eyes.
Maybe it's the way you treat people with kindness,
your consistent punctuality,
or how you always have courage in the face of your fears
that makes you respect yourself.
Read the list back to yourself
when you need a reminder of your values,
and practice self-respect every day by sticking to them.
And number eight, I surround myself with people
I know respect me too.
Once you've solidified a strong sense of self-respect
for yourself,
and have maintained distance from those who don't,
finding a tribe that loves and respects you
will become second nature.
When you know who you are,
and why you deserve to respect yourself,
you'll refuse to allow anyone
who wants to convince you otherwise
to have any influence in your life.
Everyone struggles with self-confidence and self-love
from time to time,
but they aren't meant to be final destinations
where healing and growth stop.
What matters is maintaining
a consistent amount of self-respect for ourselves
and one another throughout the ups and downs of it all.
There has been a huge decline
in mental health around the world,
which is why we are so committed
to creating more content than we ever have.
Thanks for being a part of our journey.
Can you relate to any of these signs?
Let us know in the comments below,
and share this with someone who might benefit.
As, always the studies and references used
are listed in the description box below.
For more tips and resources
on how to grow respect for yourself and others,
be sure to check out our Psych2Go YouTube channel
for more videos.
Thanks so much, and see you next time.