hey welcome back for another episode of the podcast porn brain rewire with
me Dr Trish Lee I'm so glad you're back today because today we are going to talk about plan
to quit porn you need a plan my friend and that's what we're gonna break down today so
in typical planning fashion what we're going to do is the who what when where and why of planning
your porn brain rewire now it's simple we learned who what where one and why back in third grade so
the planning part is simple but I'm going to help you move through it but the execution part can be
more challenging so let's dive into that today so let's start out with the idea of if you're gonna
plan to recover from a long-term pornography habit you know we've established this many times before
your habit likely started when you were very young the seeds of addiction were planted you've been
wiring you've been watering those seeds and wiring it into your brain since that time in adolescence
it's become your tool for mood regulation stress and boredom so if you want to quit something that
is long-term habit that has developed into a dependency you're dependent upon it to feel
okay you need a plan so if you're going to take a trip let's say you want to go to Disney World
what do you do you don't just get in your car and go to Disney World do you no you make a plan
now this is a true story I took my five beautiful children and my parents that were in their 70s and
my husband and I went to Disney World uh probably now about 10 years ago it was 10 years ago and it
was exhausting because we had five little ones and two old ones with us and at that point my dad had
to start using a scooter because he couldn't walk Disney World but he wasn't telling anybody so it
was the first time ever he got a scooter but he was kind of like making jokes about about
it because he didn't want to admit he needed it he literally ran over some people he backed
over them not knowing how to use the scooter it was very stressful very stressful but anyway we
made the plan we had to make the plan so we're like okay we're gonna go to Disney World like
you can't just go to Disney World you have to plan it out and then we're like okay we're gonna stay
at we stayed at Saratoga Springs it was the only thing left because we were planning it fairly last
minute you know a couple months out not a year out we had to plan the restaurant reservations that we
wanted to go to we had to get the plane tickets for all of us we had to I rented a limo to come
pick the kids up it was really fun we rented a limo that came at like 6 a.m and the kids favorite
part of that trip to this day is the limo ride to the airport we could have totally taken a limo
to the Hotel by the airport save myself about fifteen thousand dollars and a lot of headache
but we had a planned transportation to the airport we had to plan transportation to Disney World we
had a lot of planning to do so first we had to decide where we were going to go now we're not
going to go in order of the who what where and why we're going to jump around a little bit the
first thing in planning was where in my 90-day program were really clear having you decide where
you want to go you have to figure out where your destination is where you are in your life right
now where you want to be where you want to be is the destination of your journey and when you get
there this is a personal transformation Journey so you realize that that end line that uh you know
that goal will always keep moving the carrot will always keep moving in front of you in a
really positive way in a striving and arriving way but you have to figure out where you are and where
you'd rather be that is your end goal that's the wearer you you have to decide who who's
going to help you in this journey science shows that support is one of the number one success
strategies that you can use when you get into a recovery program and their science specifically
for pornography recovery having the proper support expert support is what's necessary we offer that
and any good program should okay so let's think about who what so what what is recovery recovery
is recovering your true authentic self the one that got stifled back in adolescence when you
found porn when those seeds of addiction were planted the true authentic you got a little
bit stifled it's called inner child work and we do some of that work in the program we look at
unwiring trauma and dysfunction and heartache and programming from the past we're gonna upgrade your
software it's a software upgrade when we work together to be able to move you towards the you
that you've decided that you want to be and so you need a plan of the what so what the what includes
is unwire we're going to undo all that stuff from the past we're only going to stay there as
long as we need to to undo it and to create more neuroplasticity and unlock that neuro rigidity
that's been caused by that old programming so that you can move forward into the rewire portion in
the rewire portion we're going to rewire your distorted thinking in your mind and create
healthy thinking we're going to create new ways of Behaving and acting we're going to create you
know new thought systems we're going to help you tap into the feelings that you're ignoring we know
when you go into pornography you're just ignoring feelings it's escapism you have to be able to
address those feelings and move towards them not die and keep going that is how you recover for
a lifetime that's how you rewire your brain we're also going to instill so many beautiful new habits
and new mood regulation strategies so that that toolbox that you had in the past of just porn now
is filled with many many many wonderful ways to de-stress and to offset boredom and create a full
life where you hear me you're on purpose in your work you're on on purpose in your relationships
and you are on purpose in your hobbies when it comes to relationships we're going to rewire
your relationship many relationship Dynamics have become very funky and dysfunctional because porn
has always been in the relationship if porn's in your relationship it's a problem I'm here to tell
you it's a problem science supports that so we know that a relationship rewire is really really
really important it'll increase your attraction to your partner if you don't have a partner it will
draw to you a healthy emotionally healthy partner who you can ride off into the sunset with you'll
have better sex than you've ever had before because we know healthy sexuality is part of
that end goal if you have healthy sexuality it's so much easier to stay away from porn that's all
the what's in the rewire I'm going to teach you how to rewire your brain using technology which
is totally awesome and very different from what other people offer if we re rewire your brain
using technology then it's easier for you to think act and feel in different ways it's easier for
you to go instill these new habits and to create that toolbox of mood regulation we're also going
to look at your personality we're going to look at that mask that you've learned to put on the
Dr Jekyll that gets accolades in the community while you're covering up the Mr Hyde that goes
into your porn Habit to offset the exhaustion of having to be Dr Jekyll all the time we're going
to take that mask off and allow you to be you how amazing right and you're going to gain the
courage to be the you you want no matter what anybody thinks about it yes I know terrifying
and amazing all at the same time so that's all in the rewire section that's the what in the Hardware
section we're going to integrate that personality and we're going to create a fault line plan so
that you can hear the bells and whistles going off when you are sliding backwards moving towards that
old Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde version before you do so that you never relapse and that you can stay
in Integrity chasing down those wonderful goals of personal transformation for the rest of your
life it really is an awesome journey and once you start and you get the momentum and you break the
downward spiral and you create the upward spiral using head's law things start clicking and you
start moving forward that's what this planning to quit porn involves the plan develops over time
that's what the plan is about first you have to commit to getting into a program because we know
it's very difficult to do by yourself without the proper tools techniques strategies and support all
right that's the what the where now with online technology everything can be done from the comfort
and the privacy of your home that's the beauty of the program that I offer and it's really exciting
because you know all my programs used to be in my office in glorious Chapel Hill North Carolina not
that it's not wonderful here it really is but now there's no need for it so it makes it a lot easier
for you to very privately sign up for the 90-day complete essential guide nobody has to know about
it so it's in the vein of pornography where it's Anonymous it's affordable and you're able to get
into it very very quickly it's accessible and those are the three dangerous parts of porn but
I'm using them to make it easy for you to recover you know kind of using the same thing you have
going on but using what you know your tools for good and not for evil or not to harm yourself so
it's affordable accessible and you're able to get into it so anonymously when you sign up for the
90-day digital program you get a complimentary coaching call with Coach Zach Carter who's the
lead coach on my team so we're here to help you if you want the help we're not going to bug you if
you don't want the help because it's a self-paced and a self-guided program which is a really great
first way for you to get started you learn what you need to learn to increase your self-awareness
which moves you towards social which moves you towards self-regulation for social relationship
awareness and for social relationship management the four pillars of emotional intelligence but
you can dip your toe in by yourself you can meet with Zach if you want to add an assessment with
me I offer four point assessments I can break your life situation down for you in a 45-minute
meeting tell you what your brain's doing tell you how it's impacting your life how your life
is impacting your brain and set the course forward so we're here for you we have all different kinds
of services to support you but the whole point is that the where is all online from wherever
you want it can be from your car it can be from your office it can be from uh just about anywhere
these days so it's easy to get into recovery where before it was hard you used to have to
drive to a group and you know walk into a building and be terrified and and all that comes with that
now you can just log on from the privacy of your home we offer group coaching there's no pressure
to turn your video or your audio on until you're comfortable you can acclimate yourself to get into
recovery and do it on your terms to succeed and that's the most awesome part of this program that
the where is anywhere it's where you are right now so there's no excuses you know how that goes
uh I would recover but I have to fly to Phoenix I would recover but uh you know I don't know how
to the how is you sign up for the 90-day program it moves you forward the why is the last part why
the why is because why not you have the rest of your life to live you are wasting your full
potential that's the hard there's a truth bomb with love that's the hardcore fact of it is that
if you're going into the screen and especially if you have a frequent consistent and especially if
you have a habit that has any level of intensity if you've if you've crossed any boundary that
gives you more shame it is time my friend don't waste one more second doing something that's
proven to damage your brain and to show up in your life in all kinds of ways you don't even know do
the easy thing by committing to the program to start the process of backing yourself out of
the road that you are taking currently now thinking about it in terms of neural Pathways
we've talked about this before if you continue to take the neural pathway into the screen you
will continue to use heavy and learning theory hebb's law and you will keep traversing those
neural Pathways which will keep you coming back for more when you go into the screen it gives
you a super normal amount of dopamine and that dopamine is the neurochemical of pleasure seeking
it's insatiable it will keep you coming back for more and as your brain acclimates you will have an
escalation in your behaviors because your brain needs more and more dopamine constant pleasure
seeking and at some point what you're doing isn't going to cut it you'll need to do more so now is
the time to put the plan in place to take the other neural Pathways the healthy ones that are
in your brain that you likely haven't used very much and what Auntie had been learning theory
says heb's law neurons that fired with neurons that fire together wire together what it says is
when we unwire them you can rewire your brain in a healthier direction using neuroplasticity that's
what this program is about that's why it's called porn brain rewire not just porn brain unwire if
you stay out of the screen for a little while you're just unwiring the pattern what is necessary
for long-term success and for a glorious life is three wiring and hardwiring aspects using heb's
law that's what this plan will afford you okay so let's go back for a minute and think about again
Disney World so you're going to Disney World you you need to book the flights you need to
book all the restaurant reservations going to Disney World is no easy thing to do because
there's a lot of pieces so yeah maybe you can put that off and give it over to a travel agent that's
what I said in one of lately our travel agents still a thing but what is necessary is you have
to be the travel agent of your own life that's just how it goes in recovery we're here to help
you we're like Yoda you're the Padawan learner I'm Yoda yep I know I'm looking like Yoda these days
but hopefully I'm on my way back uh you have to be you know a Padawan learner who's on his way to
being a Jedi and I want you to be the Jedi in your own life and I'm here to help lay the foundation
of the path forward because I've done the journey before you ahead of you and I have not only the
expert training but the real life experience with this thing I know how it unfolds I can help you so
make the plan all you have to do to get started is join the program the rest of it is laid out
but I will tell you you likely need some real-time support that's why we have the group coaching and
it's there for you so don't put it off anymore if it feels good to you please sign up my New Year's
resolution if you heard me say it before is to encourage you more to do what you need to do get
out of your own way invest in yourself like Zach Carter said on one of our recent podcasts when
he and I were talking is that when your brain's at its full potential you'll make the money back
tenfold that you invested into this program but you know instead of taking a trip this could be
the trip of a lifetime when you learn how to you know take these tools with you forward and always
be able to use them into the future to continue to become the better version of yourself okay sign
up Dr trishly.com go to the tab that says porn brain rewire check it out why porn brain rewire
and there's lots of information there for you and as always control your brain or it'll control you