>> Stephen: SPEAKING OF FIRST LADIES, IT
TURNS OUT MELANIA TRUMP MAY HAVE MORE POWER IN THE WHITE HOUSE
THAN WE PREVIOUSLY THOUGHT, BECAUSE LAST WEEK SHE CALLED FOR
THE REMOVAL OF DEPUTY NATIONAL SECURITY ADVISER AND WOMAN
DOMINATING THIS STARING CONTEST, MIRA RICARDEL.
AND WHILE PREVIOUS FIRST LADIES HAVE CALLED FOR STAFFING CHANGES
IN PRIVATE, MELANIA MADE HERS VERY PUBLIC.
HER COMMUNICATIONS DIRECTOR RELEASED A STATEMENT SAYING "IT
IS THE POSITION OF THE OFFICE OF THE FIRST LADY THAT SHE NO
LONGER DESERVES THE HONOR OF SERVING IN THIS WHITE HOUSE."
THAT'S VERY FORMAL.
IT WAS FOLLOWED BY AN ENGRAVED INVITATION TO KISS MY ASS.
( LAUGHTER ) AFTER THE STATEMENT, RICARDEL
WAS REMOVED FROM HER JOB IN THE WHITE HOUSE.
AND WHILE MOST PEOPLE WERE SURPRISED BY THE FIRST LADY'S
BOLD MOVE, ONE PERSON CLOSE TO HER WAS NOT, SAYING "SHE CAN BE
A KNIFE FIGHTER.
SHE'S A TRUMP AFTER ALL."
NOT ENTIRELY FAIR.
THEY DON'T LET ERIC NEAR SHARP OBJECTS.
( LAUGHTER ) ( PIANO RIFF )
WELL, BEFORE WE JUDGE, I THINK WE SHOULD HEAR THE FIRST LADY'S
SIDE.
JOINING US FOR AN EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW, LIVE FROM THE WHITE
HOUSE, PLEASE WELCOME MELANIA TRUMP!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) GOOD TO SEE YOU.
ALL RIGHT.
>> HELLO, STEPHEN!
>> STEPHEN: MADAME FIRST LADY, THANK YOU FOR JOINING US!
AND ALSO, HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
>> THANK YOU!
I LOOK FORWARD TO THE ANNUAL PARDONING OF THE TURKEYS.
THE ONLY ONES IN THE WHITE HOUSE WHO WON'T BE GOING TO JAIL.
(RIMSHOT) >> Stephen: GOOD TO SEE YOU
HAVE YOUR OWN DRUM PLAYER IN THE WHITE HOUSE.
>> IT'S THE WHOLE MARINE CORPS BAND, ACTUALLY.
THEY'RE ALL HERE.
>> STEPHEN: WELL, I HAVE TO ASK ABOUT MIRA RICARDEL.
WHY DID YOU CALL FOR HER TO BE FIRED FROM THE WHITE HOUSE?
>> SHE WAS LYING, SHE WAS PETTY, SHE WAS VINDICTIVE... AND WE'VE
ALREADY GOT ALL OF THAT COVERED.
SO...
( LAUGHTER ) >> STEPHEN: OKAY, NOW SOME
PEOPLE ARE SAYING THAT ASKING FOR HER TO BE FIRED VIA PRESS
RELEASE WAS A TAD INSENSITIVE.
>> THEY ARE?
AWWW, NO.
STEPHEN, YOU KNOW ME.
YOU KNOW ME...
( LAUGHTER ) ALL I WANT IS TO END BULLYING,
AND IF YOU DISAGREE WITH THAT...
I WILL CRUSH YOU LIKE A TINY BUG UNDERNEATH MY STILETTOS.
( LAUGHTER ) CRUNCH.
LAU( LAUGHTER ) MMM!
>> STEPHEN: BUT ISN'T THIS SOMETHING YOU SHOULD HAVE
HANDLED WITH YOUR HUSBAND IN PRIVATE?
>> OH, STEPHEN, I HAVEN'T HANDLED MY HUSBANDS PRIVATES IN
YEARS.
(RIMSHOT) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: THIS IS A SIDE OF THE PUBLIC -- THE PUBLIC HASN'T
SEEN THIS SIDE OF YOU BEFORE.
BUT ( BLEEP ).
>> STEPHEN, ARE YOU OKAY?
>> Stephen: NO!
I'M NOT OKAY!
THIS ENTIRE THING IS VERY UPSETTING.
>> OH!
>> Stephen: THIS IS A SIDE OF YOU THE PUBLIC HASN'T SEEN
BEFORE.
BEFORE, BUT YOUR FRIENDS AREN'T SURPRISED, ONE OF THEM EVEN
CALLED YOU A "KNIFE FIGHTER."
>> NO, STEPHEN.
YOU KNOW ME: I AM JUST AN INNOCENT, LITTLE
FIRST LADY.
I AM ONLY CALLED ON FOR HARMLESS, CEREMONIAL DUTIES.
LIKE THE CARVING OF THE WHITE HOUSE TURKEY.
>> STEPHEN: OH, I DIDN'T KNOW THERE WAS A CEREMONY FOR THAT.
>> THERE ISN'T.
"TURKEY" IS MY NICKNAME FOR JOHN KELLY.
>> Stephen: YOU'VE MADE THE ADMINISTRATION LOOK BAD.
>> IT IS TRUE.
I'VE ISSUED A NEW STATEMENT, IT IS POSITION OF THE OFFICE OF THE
FIRST LADY THAT MELANIA TRUMP NO LONGER EDESERVES TO THEY THE
WHITE HOUSE.
FIRE ME, NEXT, DONALD!
PLEASE!
LET ME OUT!
>> STEPHEN: MELANIA TRUMP, EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MILLIE BOBBY BROWN.