Translator: Borbála Bánfalvi Reviewer: Melissa Csikszentmihályi
As a child, I was very lively and hyperactive,
unable to sit still.
I simply went ahead and did my business
the way I wanted to do it.
Also, I enjoyed talking to people, performing,
and being the centre of attention.
It is quite understandable, however, that many people may have found me
difficult to manage.
In primary school, around the age of 10 or 11, I had a German teacher
who sneered at everything I did and magnified every mistake I made.
Even though I had many patient and loving teachers,
after that I completely withdrew and turned to myself.
I lost my interest in performing, got stage fright,
and started to be afraid of what people thought of me.
As you might guess, becoming an introvert also made it
very difficult for me to make friends.
It wasn’t until the 11th grade, when I was 16,
that I was unable to meet new people.
The big change was when in the freshers’ camp at Fazekas,
my high school, I broke out of my usual introversion
and chatted casually with people.
In the following years, I tried to apply to be a team leader,
but since I hadn’t gotten to know many people in the first two years,
I didn’t get in.
As a result, I decided that I wanted to belong somewhere
and join the Fazekas community among those
who were open, direct, and able to chat casually with anyone.
Due to my strong desire in me
to be an extrovert again,
I made decisions outside my comfort zone,
and gradually moved towards my goal.
So, this is how I started the journey to overcome my fear.
All I needed was to set the goal of solving my problem
and start working towards it.
Still, where does this mentality,
this mindset come from?
In fact, I needed external support, a triggering source,
from which I could draw inspiration.
“You become what you think about the most.”
I first came across this quote
when my father gave me The Strangest Secret
by Earl Nightingale.
The book focused on this sentence,
and I liked it so much that I decided to follow it.
My father also gave me a small wooden board with this sentence,
which I placed prominently in my room
where I could read it many times to remind me of its meaning.
To me, it means that if we have a dream or a goal
that we want to reach, then if we think about it a lot
and take steps towards it, we’ll achieve it.
So, in the situations we face, we’ll decide with our goal in mind,
taking it into consideration.
This mindset has worked for me many times,
and I can provide many examples to prove it.
One of the stories is that from 7th to 10th grade
in high school, I was unable to get straight A’s.
No matter how hard I studied, how motivated I was,
how much I loved school and my teachers,
I never managed to finish the year with only A’s,
I always got a B or two.
However, things changed in 11th grade,
because I decided to get all A’s at the end of the year.
My idea was to photocopy two blank pages
of my school report card, print them out,
and fill them out with only A’s.
Then, I folded this in half and placed it in a safe place between my books.
Although I didn’t take it out much during the rest of the year,
I thought about it even more.
Each time, I confirmed to myself
that this was what I wanted, and I studied more and more enthusiastically.
And believe it or not, I got straight A’s at the end of the year.
Because I set a goal,
found a way to visualise it,
then I put myself there and kept going forward.
And I reached my goal at once.
But how did I start my high school years?
We moved to Budapest before 9th grade,
so I had to leave everything I knew behind,
yet somehow I was happy about the change.
Because before that, I just didn’t feel comfortable in my own skin,
since I was always trying to be like someone else.
This is also why I hoped that I’d be able to start over in Fazekas.
Although I didn’t get to know many people
and I didn’t develop close friendships at first,
over the 4 years, I got to know myself better
and discovered the things that I love about myself,
which ultimately helped me feel more comfortable in my own skin.
By getting to know myself,
I went through a huge personality development,
made close friends, and became more interested in biology.
However, like many others,
I prepared for my graduation exam online.
At first, after hearing that in March 2020 that the high schools would close,
at first I was in despair about how I would graduate like this
and say goodbye to my beloved high school.
But then I tried to look on the bright side,
since I had the opportunity to prepare at my own pace,
with my own schedule and motivation.
Thanks to this, I studied and ran every single day for 3 months,
wich resulted in me graduating with straight A’s.
And I feel like I needed all this
to be accepted to the Biological Sciences course at UCL,
the 8th best university in the world, which was a dream come true for me.
Even though we knew in advance
that the entire first year would be online,
at first, I was saddened to know that I wouldn’t be able
to meet either my teachers or my fellow students.
Furthermore, I was worried I wouldn’t be able to study or make friends this way.
But then I decided to try to get the most of my first year at university,
so thanks to the punctual scheduling and continuous preparation,
I managed to finish with a 1st.
In addition to studying,
I felt it was important to take advantage of the opportunities
offered by the online world,
so I could do things I wouldn’t have otherwise been able to.
As the External Relations Officer at the UCL Hungarian Society,
I was responsible for finding supporters and partners for the community.
I also became a Student Academic Representative in my department,
forwarding the students’ needs and requests to the Faculty,
which I worked with to make online education as effective as possible.
During the year, I also joined the Future: Hungary ambassadors,
where I promoted the FH conference
to as many UCL students as possible,
which offers students unique opportunities.
I’ve also become an ambassador for the Association of Hungarian Women in Science,
as I believe that women should have equal opportunities
in science, research, and the labour market.
As a Brain Bar Ambassador,
I was able to help run a fantastic festival.
But I didn’t stop there,
because I also volunteered to clean parks in London
and completed an online course at Duke University on Genetics and Evolution.
In addition, I decided to find a summer internship
in order to gain experience and learn new research skills.
Thanks to this, I sent emails to over 100 companies
and laboratories throughout the year,
and in the end, I had so many options to choose from that,
unfortunately, I had to reject several of them.
But eventually, I got to where I wanted to be,
because I did a summer internship at the Genome Stability Group
of the Hungarian Academy of Sciences.
In other words, the huge amount of time, energy, enthusiasm,
and commitment invested have certainly paid off.
One of my current dreams is to be included in
Forbes’ list of “30 successful Hungarians under 30”
by creating something big and being a part of a research project
that can help others.
My passion for genetics is constantly growing,
and I’m only a 2nd-year student now, but I’m very curious to see
how it will develop in the future.
Another big dream of mine was to put together a great TED talk,
and I hope I succeeded.
I never imagined that I’d be standing here in front of you at the age of 19,
because I didn’t believe that I could do it with my stage fright.
However, as soon as I started believing in myself
and putting my heart and soul into it, I finally achieved it.
I believe that anyone can become anything,
if they set small goals and work toward them step by step.
The key is to believe in yourself, and to believe that you can succeed.