how you doing good how are you i'm excited uh congratulations on the the peabody award i don't
think i knew about that the last time you were here that's that's big-time stuff yeah good for
you yeah and i just found out right before i came out that's what i was going to say we got a fourth
season so that's good yeah a lot of work though because you would think that it would get easier
you find that the show gets easier as you go along no i find that i'm getting easier but the show it
you know what but honestly what does that mean i meant sexually
oh that's thank god you guys got it that's not what i thought you got it yeah now do you
none of my business but he probably are you engaged do you have a boyfriend are you
oh what's your status okay well my status is it's complicated um no i'm totally single i was dating
somebody for a little i was actually dating an infectious disease doctor because two birds and um
yeah why not i mean if you can sure but no we we uh
we broke up i found he was like a secret alcoholic and that's like my thing you know
it's library
you know that i think we've talked about you being in alcohol you haven't talked about that
there's always a relationship there's one alcoholic and one person who's sad and i
wanted to be like the fun one you know right yeah and uh uh how's your day your mom is
what does your mom do she's a speech and hearing therapist for the deaf
so she is she must be a great influence speech and hearing therapists
i'm not i don't have an impairment i'm finding the last time i'm going to be here i can do whatever
i want well well now we're talking let's see what you have in mind anything thank you for having me
here well it's a good great pleasure to have you here and a lot of fun yeah uh does your mom give
you advice to share yes she um she gives the worst advice she just speaks in bumper stickers you know
like i called her after the breakup and she's like you need to love like you've never been hurt
like that's just bad but stupid yeah like no one's watching yeah that's
that's like dr phil right you should always dance like at least a couple people are watching right
across the street like no car it's just a dumb yeah it's bad advice but it makes it makes people
in your mother's position feel like oh i'm doing some good i'm helping my daughter with these
pointless homilies right i'm like what mug are you reading that off of right now
now what about uh when you work so long i don't know how many shows are in a season that you do
there ten so yeah it's a long time with the people and now you're going into your fourth season yeah
do you ever uh develop friendships or or relationships with people that you
like that you work with because that can be trouble no i like i try um but
actually this
i try uh but my this is making me think of i don't even know if we this setup but my sister
she uh she's a bad person she's my best friend but she's really mean to me like she
she's always been really mean she's younger than me and she just like trashes me i had a big crush
on what does she do your sister she's a writer on my tv show yeah well that's what i'm saying
she's a producer and a writer yeah she's a comedy writer yeah and she's a horrible person and uh
and this season on the show i had the biggest crush on one of the guys on the crew and he just
would never even glance in my direction a real thing yeah yeah okay this is all real okay okay
i would never lie to you out here i appreciate that um but he was really had no interest in me
like he would it was a kind of a joke you are smitten i'm smitten i'm ready
i'm like hey look look who doesn't have a ring me oh you guys got it okay yeah so
anyway so my sister one day is like amy she's like oh my god don't turn around he's looking at you
and i was like oh my you know that's the thing he's looking he's like i'm like okay
so like i slowly turn around and he was sleeping on a pile of equipment asleep
not only is he not checking me out he's not doing his job
oh that's but this is a peabody winning show yeah exactly that's delightful isn't it uh
no dave it's not no were you on the mtv movie awards yes did you like it
i would i would be afraid to go there really yeah why people would want to beat me
no did you enjoy your experience there i had so much fun yeah you would have you
actually would have um but the celebrities weren't safe around me that's the truth
so celebrities not safe around you yes yeah because i get very excited seeing celebrities
and i feel so disconnected from them like i saw bradley cooper he was backstage i've never met
him before and i don't know why but i just started um he couldn't see me and i started going braley
really and he's not looking at he's trying to
act like it's not happening and just to make my sister laugh and i'm like
and then finally he sees it's me and he and we were just laughing so hard like what's wrong
with this person but yeah i just i always say the wrong thing with celebrities um since we
probably won't be on the show together again do something do something now that you'll regret
see my scar what is what is that what happened there vagina
well i asked for it didn't i it's all my fault that is my that's
a scar it's always my fault it's a surfing scar a surfing scar all right my vagina is right
you want to say it one more time just make it an even three my vagina is right where it should be
i mean you guys know that the lovely peabody award-winning amy schumer ladies and gentlemen
you