♪♪
Hi. You must be Liam.
Hey buddy, how are you feeling today?
I'm feeling fine Dr. Gupta. Just fine.
This is Marion Glass and she's from the Make a Wish Foundation.
Marion Glass.
How are you feeling today Liam?
I'm fine, Marion Glass.
Good.
Well I have some news that might make you feel a little better.
We at the Make A Wish Foundation make dreams come true
for little boys and little girls who are very sick just like you.
There are no children like me, Marion Glass.
Oh no, of course not.
Of course not. You're one of a kind.
But we're going to make any dream come true,
that you could ever have. Okay?
Anything?
That's right, buddy. That's right.
Would you like to play with your favorite basketball team?
Oh!
What about be Superman for a day?
I wish to drown a man.
What?
To drown a man in the bathtub, to hold him down
while the last breath escapes his body,
and then bathe in that water, all the while signing la,
la, la, la, la, la.
Liam!
You said anything.
Well, surely we don't want to hurt other people.
Now do we, kiddo? Anything else?
Fly in a hot air balloon or meet a celebrity?
My new wish is to lean over the body of a dying man
and put my lips on his, stealing his last breath.
Liam!
No one will get hurt.
No, absolutely not. I don't even know where you're-
I wish to take all the prosthetic legs in the hospital
and bind them together with the dried flesh of the dead
into a webbed, massive creature.
Liam! I am so sorry, Miss Glass.
It's all right. He doesn't know what he's saying.
I wish to pee in your mouth.
What? Both of you.
Mine?
Especially you.
Oh.
I wish to pee in both of your mouths
as I stand over you.
I'll need a glass of water and 10 minutes.
Enough you little [bleep]!
Dr. Gupta!
No! You're reprehensible. You are evil.
You are a devil child!
Dr. Gupta, he's not a devil child, he's just a child!
You have no business working in a pediatric ward.
What? I'm going to report you!
Shame on you, Gupta.
Shame on you, Gupta. You really upset Marion Glass.
This is insane. You've made me question
everything that I've ever believed
about the essential goodness of children.
Wish granted...
[flat line]
I am dying though.
Brothers and sisters,
tonight the newest member of our family
will feast for the first time.
Ofelia, bring the new blood.
Ah, brother Tyrell, welcome to the first night of your new ...
And what are we wearing here?
I'm just wearing what I got bit in.
Mm-hmm.
Okay, do you have anything black or like pants
with laces up the side of the leg?
just so you can still see the skin.
Oh no, that's not my style so I ain't got none of that
in my closet or nothing like that.
Okay. Anyway, we will tonight all feast.
Come on, man.
Excuse me?
I'm just saying, you're over here licking
and hissing and whatnot.
If we're going to eat, then let's eat.
Damn!
Yes. Of course, we will all feed.
That's enough.
Spread the meat.
Okay.
Did any of that actually get in your mouth?
[crosstalk], no wonder y'all is hungry all the time.
See and, uh uh, uh uh, no, no, no, no.
See, like why y'all got to hiss when you're flashing your fangs?
You know you can make your teeth come out
with y'all doing all that nonsense. See.
And can you two get a room?
Seriously, y'all live in a damn mansion.
There got to be some other place you can do that
[inaudible].
I mean are you two even lesbians?
I just don't understand
why everything got to be all sexual and licky.
Girl, seriously man,
you got to get your hands up off me for before I
[inaudible] you up. [inaudible] is nasty.
Creepy as [inaudible].
Been touching my nipple for 15 minutes.
All this [inaudible] that y'all is doing up in here,
this is just like straight up gratuitous.
I got bit on purpose
so I could live forever and see future cars.
Yeah, Cyrus, these pants are uncomfortable.
And I actually have a boyfriend.
And this song has been playing for like two years,
and it sucks.
This just seems desperate.
Okay. Desperate? Really, Tristan?
It's Christian.
Really?
His name ain't even Tristan.
So do you all feel this way ?
Yeah. Yeah.
Kinda. Yeah.
Yeah.
Wow! It's like you can't even get good friends.
No, you're not even ...
Okay, and you're leaving now. That's ...
I mean you know what though,
seriously, like you could fix this place up.
It'd be dope though, for real.
Are cars going to be able to fly
or is everything going to be on a magnetic track?
I mean that's what I want to know. It's no big deal.
This O-negative tastes like pennies.
Oh, I'm sorry about ... Hey, hey! Come on now.
Nipple play is for private time.
We talked about this like 20 minutes ago girl.
[crosstalk 00:08:21] is just a dream.
And when we wake up, we dream about cars.
This is such bull bleep] you guys.
Roommate meeting! Roommate meeting!
Gogo, what the hell? I've got a hangover!
I don't give a [bleep]
about your hangover, okay Brendan?
I want a roommate meeting, and I want it now. Okay.
Now somebody's been taking [bleep]
out of the refrigerator and throwing in on the ground,
and it's pissing me off.
Is this another one of your stupid pranks, Jonald?
No. And your pranks are stupid.
Is it you Monday? What?
Is said somebody's been taking [bleep]
out of the fridge and throwing it on the
[bleep] ground.
And I want to know who it is because it's not funny!
Well what I want to know
is who keeps pulling the sheets off my bed
and hanging them from the ceiling fan at night?
Was that you, Monday?
What?
Have you been taking everybody's sheets off them in the night
and hanging them from the ceiling fans?
What? No.
Well, clearly someone's been doing that?
Whoa! Who did that?
Yeah, who the [bleep] did that?
Which one of you just threw that bottle?
What are we even talking about right now?
Did you [bleep] throw that bottle Jonald?
No, Gogo. [bleep] you! I didn't throw it.
Well did you [bleep]
throw that bottle, Brendan?
Yeah! You would do that Brendan.
Throw? No! I didn't throw the bottle!
Well somebody threw that
[bleep] bottle,
and you're the one who drew dicks on everyone's forehead!
Yeah! You did do that!
But dicks are hilarious though! This is just destructive.
What about you, Monday? Did you throw that bottle?
What bottle?
The [bleep] bottle, dude!
It just smashed against the wall and you even said some
[bleep] about it!
Well I didn't throw the bottle.
Well obviously it wasn't Ping.
He's got the best grades in the house.
Good point, Ping. Come on, guys! Let's cool with the profanity.
You know Ping's very religious.
Come on!
All right, listen up.
The sheriff's department is close by.
We'll be safe there.
Okay.
Stay close. I'll get you outta here.
Ahhh! Ahhh!
Oh my god, they got Brad! They got Brad! They got Brad!
They didn't get us! They didn't get us.
Okay? We're still alive.
All right, keep it together. Yeah, okay.
We've got to make it to that sheriff's station.
Okay.
Oh my god.
We got to go through them.
Just stay together, keep moving, and don't get bit. Go!
Are you getting this?
Yeah, what is up?
All right, let's go. Let's go.
This is crazy. What?
Um ...
Ain't that some [bleep]?
These are some racist mother [bleep] zombies.
Why would you even lock the door?
I mean the window's broken and ...
Ah, oh!
Oh, hell no. That's ...
No, no, no.
Oh, come on!
What is that?
They seriously wouldn't let her eat us.
That's ...
Hey guys! Isn't this great? These racist
zombies are leaving us alone. Come on, we're having a party.
The beer is here. And look who I brought.
Come on
man.