Connecting with people can be hard whether you are introverted, extroverted, in a new
city, or you just want to make some new connections. If you are introverted you might find it hard
to get conversations started. If you are extroverted you might have an easy time talking with people
but you might have a hard time making a lasting impression. This video will go over 5 methods
that can help you connect with people and form genuine connections.
1. Invite conversation by sharing a bit about yourself. One of the best ways to get the
conversation going is by sharing something about yourself and then asking the other person
about themselves. A simple example of this in action would be something like “I love
playing video games - what kind of video games do you like to play?” This method is effective
because everyone likes talking about their interests whether it’s about their hobbies
or recent experiences. By sharing something about yourself and then asking about them,
you are opening up the conversation by giving them the opportunity to talk about the things
they like. If you both have similar interests then the conversation will flow easily and
you can build the connection easily. If they don’t have the same interests as you, it’s
fine. You can keep the conversation going and keep sharing information about each other
by saying “that reminds me of a time when…” People don’t remember you for what you say
or do but they do remember you for how you make them feel. If you can make them feel
good by having a fun conversation with them then you can build a lasting impression and
form a deep connection. 2. Call out your commonalities. People love
when other people share common ground with them. The book Influence: The Psychology of
Persuasion states that feeling similar to someone is one of the 6 most powerful factors
in persuasion. When you are trying to make a connection, there is going to be persuasion
involved. You want to persuade the other party that you are likeable and someone worth forming
a connection with. By calling out your commonalities you are letting the other party know that
you share similar interests or similar points of view. As mentioned before in the 1st method,
the conversation will flow smoothly if you share common ground. This sets you up for
a good conversation that can make the other person feel good and leave a lasting impression.
3. Actively listen and summarize accordingly. As mentioned before, people love talking about
themselves. If you actively listen and make them feel heard they will feel good about
the conversation. If you ever received someone’s full attention, you know how incredible it
feels. Although you can convey you are actively listening by just body language, you can take
it a step further to repeat important points they mentioned while you are talking. Let’s
go through an example. Say someone is talking about their recent trip to London and all
the places they visited. By following up with something like “Wow so you went to this
place and that place and did x and y.” and then saying what you want to say, you will
make the other party feel amazing. By showing deep focus, the other party will feel that
you understand them at a deep level. They will feel connected to you in some way because
they feel understood. 4. Be yourself. If you feel pressured to connect
with someone you might start pretending to be someone you are not. For example, if you
are at a networking event, you might feel like you have to go put yourself out there
like crazy and make connections with everyone. You might start presenting yourself as someone
who has a lot of energy and is really extroverted when you are not that person. When you are
pretending to be someone you are not, you will often make mistakes and your true self
will slip through. This will create some inconsistencies and it is a bad look for you when someone
spots out how you aren’t the type of person you said you were. There is no need to try
to be someone you are not just to secure a connection. If you know you won’t be able
to secure a strong connection with that person you are talking to, there is no need to pretend
to be someone else just to secure a strong connection. Remember, the quality of the connection
is more important than the quantities of connections. If you are more introverted, you need to know
there’s nothing wrong with being an introvert and you should just be yourself. Just be yourself
and connect with those you vibe with. 5. Offer a compliment. This is a super easy
way to get a conversation started and build connections. It’s a universal tactic that
works in both a workplace and in social settings. I’m a fan of this method because some of
my friendships have started over a simple compliment. When you present a compliment
earnestly without any ulterior motive, it can have a heartwarming effect. The other
person knows that you aren’t obligated to compliment them but yet you complimented them
anyways. This will brighten up their day and make them feel good. The thing to watch out
for with compliments is that you actually have to believe it and you can’t just fake
it. If you are going to compliment someone about how their joke was really funny, you
have to actually believe it is funny or you will come across as someone fake with an ulterior
motive. You should only give a compliment if you truly believe it. Sometimes, a simple
compliment is all it takes to start building a strong connection.
These 5 methods when used alone can be very effective in forming connections with other
people. However, if you use multiple methods together, it becomes even more effective.
Remember, people remember you for how you make them feel so if you can give them a good
time, you will leave a lasting impression and build a strong connection.
Which method was your favorite? Leave a comment below and check out the video shown on the
end screen about how to command respect without being a jerk if you want to learn more about
social interactions.