-[breathing raggedly] -Just try and calm your body.
"I am in a --" space.
"C.
O.
N.
S.
T. A.
N.
T." Space.
"I am in a constant"? "I am in a constant -- B.
A.
T. T."
-[mumbling] -T-T.
"L. E."
You got it. You're gonna rock it again.
-[yells] -You're gonna rock it again.
"W. I.
T.
H. With.
M. Y."
Space.
"B. O.
D.
Y.
I am in a constant battle with my body."
"I am an 18-year-old young man with nonspeaking autism.
I so often wish I could go back in time to the days
where I could talk and better handle sensory input.
I love and cherish those days.
If I could speak, I believe my voice would be quite deep
because my younger brother has a deep voice."
-"If I were to sound like a celebrity,
I'd like it be like, Errol Flynn --
[heroic movie plays] [as Errol Flynn]
the old-time movie actor.
He played Robin Hood and Don Juan,
and he had a very smooth voice I admire.
When I was a toddler, I could speak."
-Cow.
-"I could have real conversations
about all kinds of topics with all kinds of people.
My mom said I had advanced language use for my age.
I don't remember particular words I said, as [chuckles]
there were really so many.
And then there weren't -- at all.
When I turned 3, my life started to change drastically.
I began to have limited speech out loud.
Because I couldn't speak, I was suddenly seen as 'non-thinking.
' No longer did people regard me worthy of a true education.
Made me feel like I'd been mislabeled
and discarded by society.
During this time, I continued to teach myself all kinds of things
by observing the environment around me intensely.
No one knew I was learning this information.
It was all stuck inside of me.
This went on for about 10 years.
One day, my mom was reading me a book.
'Point to the octopus,' she said, and I did,
but it wasn't the octopus she expected.
After that, she took me to someone that could teach me
how to use a letter board.
It took about a year to reach open-ended communication
with my speech-language pathologist.
It took even longer for me
to be able to openly communicate with my mom.
For the first time in a very long time,
I felt I was both known and heard.
I'm 18 now.
[blows]
And I feel I'll still be missing out
on many of the symbolic acts of passage
for becoming an adult in our society.
I'm unable to drive a car, go on an adventure alone.
I'd like to have a personal relationship
with a nice young woman who gets and fully appreciates my gifts
and attributes.
I recently attended a party of teens
gathering to promote greater gun control,
and it was so rewarding to be a part of something bigger
than myself and outside of the world of autism.
I voted for the first time last year,
and I'll keep on voting.
And even though I'd love to have the ability
to speak my thoughts,
I do feel that I've found a voice."