[typing]
You know, playing The Sims 3 can be really depressing if you think about it.
What does a typical Sims life consist of?
Getting older... and older... and older,
then they die.
Throw a lot of working and woohoo in there, and that about sums it up.
It gets even more depressing when you realize
that's pretty much what real life boils down to as well.
But thank goodness for the kind old souls at Electronic Arts
who've developed a solution to alleviate some of the depression of The Sims.
And that solution is The Sims 3 Generations Expansion Pack.
It is the fourth expansion pack to The Sims 3 base game,
and contrary to my initial thoughts,
it does not have anything to do with Captains Kirk and Picard joining forces
against the mysterious Nexus.
The actual theme of The Sims 3 Generations expansion
is the expansion... of your generations of Sims.
That is, it gives Sims of all ages more stuff to do,
living life to the fullest and such,
so their existence is less depressing to observe.
It's somewhat hard to explain, so allow me to explain.
Generations starts off with a very striking loading screen
overlaid with what appears to be a family tree of sorts,
or maybe the latest random screen print t-shirt
from American Eagle Outfitters, take your pick.
You can then start a new game or choose an existing one to play.
There is no new town included with Generations,
so you're stuck with what you've already got.
The additions this expansion provides
are most easily separated into the different life stages of a Sim:
But before we get into specifics,
there is one major addition that launched with this expansion,
and that is Memories.
Memories are...
Well, if you don't know what memories are, just try to remember and I'm sure you'll get it.
But for Sims, Memories are basically a record of major events that occur in the game.
Whenever a Memory happens, it will pop up on the screen,
take a screenshot and give you the opportunity to write a description.
This will then go into a scrapbook
which chronicles everything from births to deaths,
to the times you hurt someone's feelings,
or failed epically.
Pretty much anything that you do in the game.
So yeah, it kind of gets annoying pretty quickly,
but you can just ignore them if you'd like.
You can also use this little icon to record your own Memories of any moment,
no matter how mundane or bizarre.
The scrapbook also brings back the Bio feature,
so you can further flesh out the stories of your Sims in text form.
There's also a bunch of social features integrated into the Memories thing,
like the abilities to share them on the Sims Exchange
or post them to your Facebook wall.
And if you don't want to do this, you don't have to.
But there are incentives for doing so, at least at the moment,
like exclusive downloadable items and crap like that.
Alright, so let's begin to commence to start
with the main features of the game,
beginning with infants.
Well, they're still immobile, pooping, crying bundles of joy,
so that hasn't changed.
About the only thing that has is this mysterious package
that shows up from somebody mysterious
with this mysterious doll inside that... just shows up,
often after a Sim is born.
We'll come back to this thing later for sure because it's just plain weird.
Toddlers don't get much else either, but what they DO get is pretty significant.
There are now strollers for older Sims
to push these younger Sims around in.
They work pretty much just like bikes and cars
and finally let you feasibly roam around town
with a toddler along for the ride.
But it's with children that you really start to see some big additions to the gameplay.
Before this, kids didn't really have much of anything to do,
other than homework and make noise.
And they still do that.
But now there is a costume chest to occupy their time as well.
Inside this chest is a collection of various costumes
to stimulate the synapses of a young mind
like a prince,
an astronaut,
a Tyrannosaurus Rex,
[child roars]
and a princess.
And yes, a boy can dress up as a princess.
And yes, his macho father may take issue with that.
There's also a complete selection of playground equipment for children to conquer.
You've got a slide,
a see-saw,
a swing set,
hopscotch court,
one of those springy ride things,
one of those giant playhouses that only rich kids have,
and even a couple different water slides, which are just awesome.
Although you may have to fight off Grandpa for a turn.
You also have sandboxes to play in,
which double as a great stress relief option,
or a handy place to bury your homework and school textbooks.
But if aeromycophobia is your thing, you can instead buy a treehouse.
Contrary to popular belief,
these are pre-built miniature houses built into a tree
and not houses for trees to live in.
They come in various themes for varying fantasies
for varying children,
and one of them does come pretty close to Star Trek with this sci-fi theme.
If you remember the TARDIS ripoff time machine from The Sims 3 Ambitions
or the mausoleum from the base game, that's pretty much what this is.
It's just a rabbit hole, so you can't see inside
and instead can only click on it and trust that cool things are happening within.
I do like some of the things you can do with it, though,
like choosing the classic "No Girls Allowed" option,
and being able to dump water on your mother
when she's asking you to come down.
The last main children's thing is the imaginary friend.
This is that doll creature that comes through the mail once a baby is born.
Although it's just a doll for a while,
eventually it starts to come to life as your Sim grows older
and closer to the doll.
It looks a bit more like a robot, if you ask me,
which is somewhat unnerving.
Because if it is and it's not telling anybody,
does it follow the laws of robotics? I don't know.
What if it has ulterior motives?
I mean, I'm just not totally convinced it's not a cyborg
with selective cloaking abilities
since it can start to act like a real Sim
but is only viewable by the child it belongs to.
That gives me an idea.
Holy crap, someone please come out with a Calvin and Hobbes mod for this immediately!
They can talk with it, play with it, befriend it, just like it was a normal Sim,
except nobody else can see it.
It's even possible to pull a Pinocchio and turn it into a real child,
if you can find out how to, that is.
And, no, you can't woohoo with it.
At least, not in robot doll form.
I can't believe I have to say that. Ha ha!
Teenagers receive another large amount of additions in Generations.
Apathy and lethargy for starters.
Playing in the sand and swinging on the swingset
just isn't the same anymore.
Kid stuff is lame now.
It's time to move on to bigger toys,
like cars.
They can't exactly own a car yet, but they can learn to drive from an adult,
with the expected bumps and skids along the way,
eventually earning a driver's certificate with a learner's permit to drive around town.
But that is only if they're in good standing with the adults of the house
because there is now a punishment system in the game for kids.
There are two new traits in the game relating to the actions of younger Sims,
and those are Rebellious and Nurturing.
Rebellious Sims will have a tendency to challenge authority
and complain about the status quo,
hoping that teenage angst will pay off well.
They can also sneak out at night
and play all sorts of pranks,
like Ding-Dong Ditch,
laying a flame of something nasty on the porch,
egging the neighbors' houses,
switching shampoo for hair dye,
booby trapping the sink,
and planting whoopee cushions.
[fart sound, surprised yelp]
They can even play some more serious pranks on the local school,
which may get the cops after you.
If those meddling kids get too out of hand,
adults of the household have the option to send them away
to one of a variety of boarding schools,
like military, sports and even hippie schools.
And you don't have to see them again
until they grow up and out of their childish ways, hopefully.
It's not all bad. At least they'll learn new skills and traits while they're gone.
The other trait is Nurturing,
which pertains to how well a Sim works with kids.
They will not only be able to punish them in a variety of ways,
but also build a relationship with younger Sims
more easily than Sims without the trait.
They're also especially good at the new profession in the game, running a daycare.
This is essentially a babysitting service for teen and older Sims to run out of their home.
Parents will drop off kids in the morning
and pick them up sometime in the evening,
and not always on time, either.
How much you get paid depends on how well you do with the kids
and how happy they are at the end of the day.
It works a lot like the new careers from the Ambitions expansion,
in that it demands your full attention
and is much more interactive than simple rabbit hole jobs.
It's quite challenging but it has its own rewards
in the form of special interactions and bonuses later,
and other Sims in the household can at least help you out.
The rest of the teen stuff relates to school events
such as being able to partake in school-related activities,
like field trips, ballet, music and drama classes,
amongst many others.
They all seem to be rabbit hole locations, so that is kind of lame,
but at least they're learning skills along the way.
There will also be special events like school dances
and, of course, prom night,
complete with the awkwardness of trying to get a date.
Or if that's too much, Sims aged teen and older
can just go on simple dates around the town.
Which works the same way as going out with the group,
except it's more of a one-on-one affair.
And finally, they will graduate high school and get a diploma
before heading off into adulthood.
This seems like a perfect time for a university expansion, like The Sims 2 had, to come into play,
and I'm actually rather surprised there hasn't been one yet.
Come on, just give me University and Seasons and I'll be one happy Simmer.
Please and thank you.
Adults also get a fair amount of new things to play with,
which makes sense, considering this is the longest single age you'll play with.
I say "usually" because now you can individually adjust
the length of each age measured in Sim days.
Very handy if you want to, say, skip the cumbersome toddler years
and really dig into the teen years.
So what are you going to do with all those bonus adult years?
Well, for starters, you can't cheat on your spouse as easily anymore.
Daggone it, there's now a reputation system in the game
which affects pretty much every social interaction there is.
Practically everything you do will now be scrutinized,
both good and bad.
If you're flirting with someone in a bar, or get into a fight in public,
Sims will notice
and start to put that gossip interaction to real use for once.
And not everything they say will be true about you, either.
So, yes, you can have false rumors going around,
which really sucks.
Eventually, you'll become known for your perceived public actions
and will be branded as such until you can prove yourself otherwise.
You'll also have to be especially careful with the new woohoo locations,
the first being the shower.
And second being the children's treehouse.
Yes.
It's really simple to keep track of all this madness
in the Stats section of the scrapbook.
It's extremely tough to remake yourself
and it just takes a lot of time
unless you earn the new Clean Slate lifetime award.
Another way to start over somewhat is the Midlife Crisis.
This will happen soon after a Sim hits the adult portion of life
and is pretty much a pain.
You will receive what looks like a wish to fulfill,
but it'll have this red *blehh* thing around it,
which means it's bad. Possibly.
Instead of being able to choose it and then get rid of it after selecting if you want,
you will have to fulfill it in order to make it go away.
Stuff like buying a new car,
a new house,
or a new spouse.
If you don't want to deal with this – and you probably don't –
you can just go to the hospital and pay a fee for therapy
and make it all go away.
Of course, you'll want to record all of this craziness for posterity,
not just with the scrapbook but also with the new video cameras.
These are rather similar to the cameras in the World Adventures expansion,
except that you record motion pictures
instead of... uh, non-motion pictures.
Record and zoom in on whatever you happen to find interesting.
Guitar players,
women,
creepy lip men,
the crap you just took.
You know, this camera is really educational.
For instance, did you know that Sim poo is invisible?
And that spying on Sims having woohoo from a Sim's point of view
is actually really unsettling.
Can also move around while taking videos,
giving it a clunky first-person kind of feel.
And I do mean clunky. The movement is WAY too freaking sensitive
and I feel like my Sim is walking on propulsion gel or something.
What's really cool about these cameras is that you can then watch your videos
on disc player-equipped TVs.
I don't know why but I just find this awesome and highly gratifying.
Another great place for putting this video camera to use is a wedding.
With the addition of the wedding arch, cake and decorations,
you can now have a proper wedding wherever you wish.
But before that, come on,
you've gotta have a bachelor or a bachelorette party, right?
Music, drinks, dancing and perhaps a little flirting with the... *ahem*...
hired party dancers makes for a wild night.
Just be sure that whatever happens doesn't get back to your spouse-to-be
or those wedding plans might come to an abrupt and premature halt.
And those aren't the only parties that have been added. Oh, no.
You've also got wedding parties,
teen house parties,
slumber parties,
tea parties, Republican... parties.
And finally, you've got the elder Sims.
They really don't have a whole lot to do still,
but reminisce about the golden years, pinch children's cheeks
and yell at those darn kids to get off their lawn.
Oh, yeah, and they can own canes now.
which is kind of awesome and makes them look, like, old and stuff,
instead of just Sims with gray hair and slightly saggier cheeks.
And with a cane equipped, they have two walks to choose from:
the very feeble-looking geriatric gait,
and my personal favorite,
the Southern Gentleman, yessuh!
But wait! There's still more!
More, more, more comes in Build, Buy and the Create-A-Sim modes.
Create-A-Sim gives you the expected new hair and clothing options
for Sims of all ages and genders.
And while most of it is stuff that I'd never make my Sim wear,
some of it is actually not that bad
and will at least give a little more variety around the town.
A completely new feature that's been added is body hair.
Yes, you can now give your man an epic man sweater.
Who needs a shirt to stay warm when you look like a werewolf?
Chest hair, back hair, happy trails,
arm hair, leg hair, even feet hair, it's all here.
It's pretty much applied in the same way that tattoos are
so if you're familiar with that, it's quite intuitive.
And if your Sim is too hairy,
you can always send them to the salon later to get waxed.
And I checked and, no, you cannot apply body hair to female Sims.
And I'm sorry to say that just seems to downright discriminate against hippie chicks
and those with hormonal imbalances.
There's also a pretty big addition in Build mode,
and that is the longtime requested spiral staircases.
These are exactly what they are:
staircases that spiral.
Taking up only a small space
instead of a long rectangle that gets in the way.
Then there's Buy mode,
and holy crap, I am PLEASED!
You can FINALLY sort the objects by collections.
You just wanna see some custom content
or content from a specific expansion pack or stuff pack?
Dude, go for it!
It will lay everything out in nice little rows.
I admit that makes me WAY, way too happy. [exhales]
There are also quite a few options that can be used throughout the game,
like sleeping bags,
which I found surprisingly fun to use.
They're basically beds that don't look weird when placed outside.
So you can now camp and stuff
while stargazing and telling ghost stories.
There's also a bunch of really retro-looking items,
like lamps, a big console TV,
a giant freaking record player system,
a retro-looking chair, a bean bag chair,
and lava lamps in various sizes.
And there are also a couple of high-end cars added.
Ideal for the Sim going through a midlife crisis.
And then there's this bizarre looking vehicle,
the Motive Magenta 3000,
which is an unlockable car that boosts your Sim's motives while using it.
Another oft-requested item that is now included is the bunk bed,
which comes in all sorts of types.
You got lots of Sims and very limited space,
or just like waking up and banging your head on the ceiling?
Grab a bunk bed to solve your problems.
And lastly, there's the return of the chemistry set.
It works a lot like the inventor's table
and can be used by any Sim, child or older,
to learn the Logic skill,
but also discover potions to apply to all sorts of situations.
They're a mixture of helpful and devious potions
and you can use them on yourself or any other Sim.
Or the entire family at once.
I mean, everybody's gonna die someday,
so just grab one, gulp it down and hope you don't die now.
So, is The Sims 3 Generations expansion worth buying?
Yup!
As usual, the recommended price is 40 bucks,
which ain't that bad considering the amount of potential gameplay you get.
And following the current trend at EA, there is no manual included,
so you'll just get this little information sheet and that's it.
I guess you'll have to get over it.
But whatever. If you're into the whole social aspect of the game, it's pretty much a must have
because it expands practically everything in the game at some level.
If you're not so much into the social game,
there's still lots of new items, customization options
and overarching gameplay features.
The Sims 3 Generations is really quite awesome
if you like the game already,
and need a good reason to jump back into things,
since it takes what's already there and augments it in ways that make sense.
So if you're on the fence with this one,
allow me to push you over to the side of buying it
because it's pretty much rad.