(00:10): [inaudible]
(00:11): I can't seem to move on from betrayal and
divorce and am unable even to see my dreams for the future.
What's up with this and how do I tap into my dreams for my own life?
Okay.
So let's start this question off by actually reframing it a little bit, especially paying
particular attention to the words, uh, that the person used.
Okay.
And this is a great exercise for all of us.
Really.
It's really important for us to remember how to speak to ourselves and to the universe.
So when I use words like I can't, or I'm unable, as soon as I start to perpetuate these words
out into the universe, I really am becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy.
So the more that I say, I can't, the more that I say I'm unable.
And so it is that that energy is just going to keep continuing to be perpetuated.
(01:09): So let's start there.
Let's kind of open up the energy a little bit and let say, you know, to teach ourselves,
to learn how to reframe these kinds of statements that we say in our minds and say them out
loud, because when you have something going on in your mind, that's really powerful.
So beliefs are powerful and thoughts are powerful.
But as soon as those thoughts are voiced through my throat, chakra out into the world, I am
reinforcing the energy.
So I always tell people, be careful what you say, be careful what you use that throat chakra
for.
Okay.
So you can switch the way that you speak about the situation.
So you can say to yourself, I'm currently, or I've been having a little bit of difficulty
moving on from betrayal.
Okay.
You see how different this is.
I've been having difficulty moving on from betrayal, but I'm ready to do the work and
I'm ready to get there.
(02:01): You see totally different way of structuring
this, this statement, right.
Instead of saying, I can't, I'm unable, the you're reinforcing the, the, the energy.
Okay.
So let's open it up like that.
Um, I've been having difficulty fill in the blank and this is, could be for this question
or for anything really, instead of saying, I can't, I'm unable start using terms like
I've been having difficulty.
It's been hard for me to do this, but I'm starting to learn how to open up, but I'm
open to learning more, but I'm open to healing, but I'm ready to go there.
You see totally different use of words in this can be, this could feel like semantics
to you, but it's really, really not.
You're training your throat shocker on how to speak and say more empowering things.
And that right away is going to be the first step in the healing process.
(02:52): Okay.
So, so we got that out of the way, the words that we use in our own heads and then out
to the universe, that's important.
The second thing that I'm sensing here in this question is that there's still a lot
of pain, uh, associated with this.
I could feel it in my heart chakra.
So there's still a lot of pain associated.
I don't know the details of this person that submitted the question.
I don't know the details of what kind of betrayal it was involving the divorce, but there's,
there's still a lot of pain and there's still a lot of unprocessed hurt.
And that's really the key.
And I reinforce this a lot in my videos, but it's always important to repeat.
And that is you cannot let go of something that you have not healed.
Okay.
And so what I'm sensing in this a lot of times, when we suffer a betrayal in our lives, we
really just want to move on.
(03:42): We want to move forward with life.
We just want to get moving as quickly as possible.
And we, we kind of push forward too fast without doing the inner work of processing, the pain,
processing, the betrayal, processing, all of the things that happened.
And if I don't process it, I'm just going to carry that pain forward.
I'm never going to be able to escape it because it's always with me.
The pain is always with wi I'm carrying it.
So wherever I go, there goes the pain too.
And so for this person and for anyone who's suffering from any kind of betrayal issues,
then what we're focusing on really is going inward and starting to ask really deep questions
around betrayal, energy.
Okay.
So was it abandonment?
Where were you cheated on?
Was that what kind of betrayal was it and what wounding did it spark in me?
(04:32): And there's, there's an important thing that,
that I love to use when it comes to betrayal.
And that is to even shift the way that we think about even the word betrayal.
Okay.
So if you start looking at relationships and looking at the world, really in a more non-attached
way, it's easier to let go of things like betrayal.
It's easier to heal things like betrayal because betrayal, a lot of times comes in when we
have bonding wounds.
So when we have unhealthy relationships with people, we have bonding wounds and we bond
inappropriately with people sometimes because we have wounded inner children.
So what ends up happening is we become too attached to that person.
And if that person wants to leave, we feel abandoned or betrayed or all of these kinds
of words come in, then these kinds of feelings.
But I have a mantra that I love to use.
(05:24): I love to use this mantra, especially for
relationships.
This is a really important mantra for those of us that had to work through bonding issues
like I did, um, because of, of childhood trauma.
A lot of times when we have childhood trauma, we have bonding wounds that need to be healed.
And those bonding wounds really come in, in, come into play in deep relationship, like
a romantic relationship.
So the mantra that I love to use, and I still use this today is that, uh, nothing is mine.
Everything is borrowed.
I love this mantra repeated again, nothing is mine.
Everything is borrowed.
This means that if I'm in relationship with someone and that person decides that they're
going to end it for whatever reason, if I really do live the words of this mantra, nothing
is mine.
Everything is borrowed.
I can let go of that relationship with a lot more ease.
(06:17): It's not that it's, of course it's still going
to be painful and I'm still maybe heartbroken, but there's a difference between being heartbroken
and feeling the deep pain of betrayal.
Okay?
Because the deep pain of betrayal often comes from an energy of possession.
So when we have those bonding wounds and we S we come into bonding with another person,
we can start to feel feelings of possession and attachment, the more possessive and more
attached.
I feel in a relationship, if that relationship disintegrates, I really create more suffering.
So this mantra comes in handy because what it's saying is that no matter what I have
in my life, it's only borrowed and it can disappear from one day to the next.
So I'm going to enjoy it while I have it.
And if it stays forever, that's great.
And if it doesn't stay forever, then that's great too.
(07:06): I have to let it go.
Okay.
So, so these, this mantra is a really good way to kind of bring into this question, to
help this person, process pain really help you process the pain of betrayal, but also
going deeper in the wounding.
Why do you feel betrayed?
Um, what happened?
Uh, is there a sense of abandonment?
There are there inner child wounds that are coming in where you felt really attached to
this person and that's where the betrayal is coming.
So these deep questions you have to go in.
So, so for this person, instead of focusing on your dreams, it's great to focus on dreams,
but maybe not right now, because you still have unprocessed pain.
So instead of focusing on dreams, because what you would be doing is if you would try
to focus too hard on dreams, you would be, uh, escaping, you would be bypassing the work
that you have to do.
(07:56): So just give yourself some time, forget about
the dreams for just a little while and fold inward on your energy and say to yourself,
I'm clearly still having difficulties processing this betrayal.
That's why I'm carrying it.
So instead of distracting myself with the future, I'm going to stay right here in the
present moment.
I'm going to go inward and I'm going to ask myself really deep questions.
I'm going to work with this inner child.
I'm going to sit with it.
I'm going to sit with any heartbreak that I have.
I'm going to process this energy.
And then I'll start to look at my dreams and I'll start to look at my future with a much
lighter energy after I've processed all of the things that I have to process to related
to this divorce, to this betrayal, into the things that happened that broke my heart.
Okay.
So, so start there.
Uh, but especially start with the changing and the reframing of the words that you use,
uh, just release from your vocabulary words.
Like I can't, or I'm unable release them, release them.
It really will help in your healing process.
(09:11): [inaudible].