- So guys, how's it going, man?
You know, shuffling around, looking at houses,
and trying to get this one ready to go.
There's a lot going on, guys.
Probably the greatest challenges to your marriage
are yet to come.
Because you're going through a lot of different things
right now, moving, baby, the possibility of one income.
So you guys have really not experienced
any of those major issues yet.
Why I don't I just talk with Bobby first.
- OK. - OK.
OK?
For Bobby and Danielle, sometimes
it's a little difficult to sort of get beneath the surface.
So I'm hoping that by one on one,
I can sort of ask some more pointed questions
and get some honest answers.
So man, how's it feel?
Busy.
Moving is a big deal.
It's a major change in anyone's life.
Do you have enough room for a baby here?
Yes, we do.
Why is that not an option right now?
Make life easier for yourselves.
She wants storage space is a pretty big issue.
Does Danielle like new stuff?
We're definitely not looking at houses
built in the 70s or 80s. - OK.
We're looking at newer for sure.
OK, how do you feel about that?
As so long as we can afford it, I'm on board.
Bobby does a lot for Danielle to make her happy.
But buying a house is a big deal.
I want to make sure that this is the right decision for them,
for both of them, as a couple.
I just want to make sure, man, that you're looking
at this thing and you're turning it all sides
and looking at it from every angle.
Because there's a lot going on at one time.
However, there's only so much that anybody, you know,
can take without, you know, eventually the dam breaking.
I don't want you to start sacrificing
your own desires just for the sake
of making sure that she is OK.
I believe Bobby is sacrificing some of his desires
for Danielle.
The danger is that he can run out
of energy doing that if he's not being refilled.
I just think that he's going to be also
happier if she does for him.
Name a time during your marriage that Danielle
has wanted something and you've pushed back.
OK.
Man, [inaudible] think of something.
It's OK for you to push back.
Right.
I see responsibilities as responsibilities.
And I don't have a problem doing those things.
And I can definitely take care of myself
and take care of my wife's needs and do both
those things at the same time.
You guys have talked about finances, about the move.
Yeah.
You guys are on a two income family now.
Yep.
And you're about to buy a house--
Yep.
--based on a two-income family.
We're not. We're shooting way under.
You know, he wants me to have the option
to not work later on.
I remember when you first got married, that was like a no,
there's no way I'm staying home and taking care of a baby.
Bobby does have some very southern values.
He really wants his wife to stay home and take care of the kids.
I feel like when I'm around other people's kids, I'm like,
I would shoot myself.
So I have always said that.
I've always said I cannot imagine myself
staying home with kids all day.
I think I'm going to go insane. - Right.
I honestly don't know what decision I'll make.
You know, I've always made my own money.
And I've always really enjoyed making money.
If you decide to stay home and he, being the good guy
he is, he wants to give you that answer,
Yeah.
--it's not devaluing you but you're not
bringing home a check.
Because you're doing one of the greatest things
that can ever be done.
And that's raising a human being.
I mean, I've always been very career-oriented.
I love making my own money.
And so it's going to be hard for me to give up that piece
if I choose to do that later on.
Would you say your opinions right
now are stronger than his?
I think I have pretty strong opinions on everything, so.
So do you feel like he gives in?
Not 100% of the time.
Tell me a time that he's pushed back.
Man, I mean, I know there's been times.
I just couldn't think of one off the top of my head.
Bobby loves Danielle.
But I believe Bobby does things that he would not
normally do to make her happy.
That's OK when you're getting the same thing in return,
when the reciprocity is there.
My concern is, is it being reciprocated?
There will be issues and there will be subjects that he
might have an opinion on. - Mhm.
It's incumbent upon you to say, you know what Bobby,
I really need to know how you feel here.
Right.
Part of your happiness is also making sure that he's
not sacrificing his happiness.