How to attract her back after she's lost interest.
What's up, guys? My name is Mossab Alsadig.
I'm a dating and relationships coach.
I've been with hundreds of women.
Now I'm happily married. I'd like to help you do the same thing.
And so this video will tell you if she sort of drifted away, if she stopped giving you so
much attention or time, what you can do to actually pull her back in, what things you
can do that will increase her your attractiveness and get her more reinvested in
you. All right. Stay tuned.
Oh. Oh.
So the first thing that you can do when she's drifting away and to get a re attracted
if she's lost interest is to and I say this a lot.
First stop chasing so much and let her chase you.
So how can you do this?
The first way is to stop focusing on her so much and focus on yourself more instead.
So think about what things you can do.
Maybe you've been paying so much attention to her that you sort of left all the hobbies,
the sports, all the activities that you were doing, and you've become either complacent or
just tunnel visioned onto this girl.
This happens in relationships, in marriages, or just dating.
When you're talking to girls and you sort of tunnel vision, all you can think about is
them or you. Maybe you cater to them a lot and you forget about yourself.
The hobbies that you were doing, all the stuff that made you attractive in the first
place. So when you start to refocus on them, you take time away from her and you don't
have to do it rudely. You can simply start going to the gym again, right?
Start going back out, start taking care of your hobbies and this will make you more
attractive. So she will see this sense of you pulling away a little bit.
But again, you're not saying, screw you, I'm going to do I'm going to do my own thing.
You simply take you say things with your action.
Right. So when you when she behaves a certain way, maybe she's pulling away, she
starts drifting away. She's less interested when you also drift away, right.
Without saying anything overt, by going to the gym more, responding a little bit less
because you become more busy.
This will this will create space between you guys and this will invite her to chase.
Right. Because I always say if you're both chasing and bumping into each other, nothing,
you're not going to get anywhere. Right?
She wants to be the one to chase you.
And so you have to give her that space to chase.
You have to allow her to do that.
And you can do that by simply taking care of yourself first.
So focus on you, right?
Focus on the things that made you attractive in the first place.
Or if you, for example, weren't so attractive and you're trying to get it, get
her more attracted you, focus on yourself, focus on the things that will make you
attractive. So focus on your career, focus on your purpose, your path, your mission in
life. Focus on being a leader, being brave, being courageous, and then focus on your
hobbies and all all the stuff that's material in your life that actually makes it
better. Focus on your friend group, focus on your social circle, the girls around you.
All of that will, first of all, take time away and give her the space to chase and also
just make you more attractive.
So it's a double it's a double whammy wherein you take time away.
She chases and then she sees that you're attracted because of all the stuff that
you're doing. Now, point number two and a lot of guys find this controversial, I'm not
sure why, but point number two is to kind of goes with point number one.
But it's to take time away and withdraw your attention, respond less, train yourself to
not give away your attention and your time and your and what's valuable most in life,
your time, timing, attention and effort just so freely.
Right? So if a girl's becoming uninterested, you continuing to chase her shows that you
devalue yourself. It's as if a homeless man and I'm not saying you're homeless man, but
just bear with me. So a homeless guy walks up to you, you know?
He asks you for something. Maybe you're uninterested.
You start walking away, right? And if he follows you, you you do not go.
Oh, he's he's super like he's persistent.
You turn towards him, right?
You get more offended, you get more annoyed and you maybe walk away faster or you yell at
him or whatever the case may be, but you don't think, Oh, this is a good thing.
So if you're doing that to women, you have to think about that that way, right?
You're already coming from below her.
That's why she's less attracted, why she's less interested, because if you were coming
in from from above her, meaning a higher value place, she would want to be with you.
So the fact that she doesn't mean she views you as below her, because girls again want a
guy that's above them, not below them.
So she sees you as below her.
And by you continuing to chase it just affirms her theory, right?
It just says, Oh, he's definitely below me.
That's why he's chasing. That's why he's being needy all this.
So if you instead you show her through your action that she's got the wrong idea, right?
Whenever a girl gets this idea, I always just take like completely withdraw my
attention, right? So if she's not doing stuff that I would want, which is returning
attention, right, being reciprocal, then why are you focusing your attention on that girl?
You just simply withdraw it, talk to other women and move on.
And then if she initiates, then you can go back to that.
But a girl withdrawing interest is the first test to see if you're going to become needy
and overinvested and overeager.
What you should do instead is just take time away, right?
Stop responding so much like respond less if you guys are still in communication.
It's just getting cold. For example, what you should do is if she's getting colder, as
in withdrawing from her from the communication over text, you should do the
same thing, right? If she's giving you one word answers, then you should start giving
one more answers or just not respond at all.
Right? Because it's not worth your time to respond to a one word answer if you're just
getting low. Okay.
Why are you responding to that? Right. There's better things to be doing than trying
to think of the clever thing to say.
To restart this situation.
She should be as invested, if not more so, into the conversation as you.
So if she's not, you need to pull away and withdraw.
And again, go do something else, go talk to other women and just that space.
She'll notice that when she does that, she will you will do the same thing and you'll
you'll show her that you're only going to be as invested as she is, and that will train
her, or at least show her that this is what you expect out of a relationship, out of a
two way communication with somebody.
If somebody sending me one word answers, I do not respond to them.
Right. I don't there's nothing to respond to, especially if it's low.
And I sent them, you know, a thoughtful message.
Then I'm putting something.
I need other I need the other person to input as well.
This goes for guys and girls, but you need to show that you won't tolerate this sort of
behavior. So this is through.
Communication, but is also in person, right.
If she's glancing away, sort of pulling back, isn't responding to, you know, you as a
person, as in your communication, then you still need you to do the same thing.
You need to, you know, look away, get bored, you know, stop investing so much into that
interaction. So that's point number two.
Point number three, before you get to point number three, I'd like to ask you if you
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and it would help out the channel in return.
So point number three is that the person who cares less in a relationship is the one with
the more control. So the thing is, and that's part one and part two is that women
want you to have the control in the relationship. And just to dig into that one a
little bit, women, if you give them control over the relationship, they will resent you
for it. Right. There's a lot of people that say, you know, I can have a 5050 partnership,
the girl can lead. It's okay.
I don't need to be the one that's leading.
The girl will always dump you. She will find a guy that's capable of leadership and she
will go to that guy and she will have sex with them behind your back, either cheat on
you or break up with you to go with that guy, because that is the sort of natural
order of things, right? They want a guy who's more dominant, who's more of a leader,
who's taking control of the relationship.
And so if you follow what I just said with those two things, they the person who cares
less, has more control, and they want you to have more control.
And so they want you to care less.
And there's an extension of that same idea that women want a guy who's above them,
right? So if the guy is above them, meaning he has higher status, he has more money, he's
more intelligent, he's older, he's more he's kind of more well off in life than her.
Than her. Right. In a bunch of different ways.
Then obviously he's going to be he's going to be less invested than than she is.
Right. Because she's the one that wants to capture him.
Right. She's the one that wants to get him into a relationship with her.
So if you care less, you will make yourself more high value.
You will make yourself more of something to be chased.
So just like you need to care less.
And I know that seems like it's hard to do when you're just talking to this one girl and
you know, all the all your eggs in one basket, you need her to like you.
But if you really just take a step back and you think there's 100 million women out there
that you could date that are good for you, that would like you some some of them might
like you, a lot of them might like you, but you don't know because you're tunnel vision
on this one girl. And we call that one itis.
Right? This girl is so perfect for me, you know, how do I stop caring?
You stop caring by talking to other girls very simply.
And you you just get out there and you start you talk to more girls, you bring them into
your life. Right. And there's there's ways to do this.
But you first have to understand the the mental process behind it, because you need to
care less in the relationship in this interaction to get her attracted more because
if she's caring less, you need to care even less, you understand?
So you need to get out there, get other girls into your life.
Which brings me to point number four and kind of ties into it and is to use
pre-selection. So if she's drifting away and then she realizes, oh, there's other women in
his life, there's girls that think he's cool, there's girls that actually are
attracted to him, that admire him.
Then it increases her attraction for you and makes her want to come back to you.
So if you don't have pre-selection, if you don't have girlfriends, start there, right?
Stop trying to have sex with girls first.
Make sure you can bring them into your life just as friends, meaning they like to be
around you. You can crack jokes, you can sort of show them how like what it's like to
be around a cool guy, right?
So if you can have girlfriends without making a move, then the next step is to start
learning how to escalate and start being seductive.
But you need to have that base of having a women around you that like you because women
are the best wingman, right?
So if you have a guy who's a woman versus a female, she will get you laid a lot more.
She'll be better for you, for your future relationships.
Because of that pre-selection factor, the guy cannot offer you pre-selection and so you
need to build that into your life.
You need to have other girls around you as friends or as girls that you sleep with
either way, and have the girl that's sort of drifting away see that?
So whether it's through your stories on Instagram or Snapchat or wherever or just
when you go when you guys go out, if she if you invite her out and then she's drifting
away like like sort of getting less interested or getting giving you less
attention. If you go and talk to one of your female friends, you guys are laughing and
you're having a good time. She will feel that pull to want to come back and talk to
you. Right. So you want to build that into your interactions and into your life in
general is to have other women around you.
And this will also increase the amount that you decrease the amount that you care.
Right? So again, you're talking to ten different girls and one of them, you like one
of them and you're interested in her and you're saying, hey, I mean, she's she's not
she seems like she's pulling away. I'm not really sure what to do.
And yet you have nine other girls that you're talking to.
You're just by having that, your time to talking to her is going to be decreased.
Right. It's going to be 1/10 of what it would be if she was just if it was just with
her. So just by dividing your attention between a bunch of different girls, you're
going to decrease the amount you care and you're going to increase the scarcity of your
attention, which is going to bring her again, make her more interest and make her
chase you more. So these are all things that are mental models rather than actual tactics
to implement, right?
So you need to understand that you need to care less.
The best way to care less is to simply talk to other women, whether it's just this friend
is first, you don't need to escalate with them.
But when you show your around women that like you, that is that's going to increase the
attraction attractiveness.
The second thing is I guess this is a tactic, but it's to pull away right through
to literally text her less.
If she's texting you less, text her one word answers or none.
If she's texting you that and just respond, respond in kind.
Right? So if she's responding coldly, that is interested.
Don't you send like two paragraphs because it's only going to turn.
Her way. So bring your attention lower.
Make sure she understands that she needs to invest in the interaction.
If she wants you to write.
And don't just give away your time and attention for nothing, right?
Don't be that guy who simping after a woman takes texting him all the time when she just
when she doesn't really care that much about you.
Right? So make sure she's just as invested as you are.
And that will increase the amount that she's interested in you, she's attracted to you and
that she wants you to be with her.
So I hope this helps. There's a bunch of other videos on my channel about how to make
yourself an attractive guy. You can check those out if you'd like.
I appreciate you watching till the end of this video and I'll see you in the next one.
For. Oh.