Do you want to know if a narcissist really loves you, or doesn't? By the end of this video,
you're going to know all about what's really going on with that narcissist as far as love.
Hi, I'm Rebecca Zung, and I've been recognized as one of the top attorneys in the country.
I've written a couple of bestselling books: Negotiate Like You M.A.T.T.T.R. and Breaking Free:
A Step-By-Step Divorce Guide. I've helped millions of people all around the world, dealing with
narcissists. I give you real strategies, real tips, and real resources on how to do that.
So make sure that you subscribe, and you hit the notification bell, and that way you'll get
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Okay, so let's talk about it's Valentine's Day, or at least that's when this video is being released.
I'd like to talk a little bit about what's going on. I've had people in my family and
people who are close to me, friends who have said, "What was really happening? Did she ever love me
at all, or did he ever love me at all? Was that all just a show? Was there any
genuine feeling of emotion?" The thing is that you're dealing with a broken person.
The first thing I just want to tell you when we talk about this is that
narcissists are people that are just very, very broken people. A lot of people just, they don't
realize that in some ways, there's a little bit of narcissistic traits in all of us. Anybody who's
on this planet, if you're a human being on this planet, you want to feel seen, heard, and know
that you matter. That's just part of being a human being and that doesn't make you a narcissist.
You know what else doesn't make you a narcissist? Saying anything nice about yourself. If you say,
"I think I'm really good at this," that does not make you a narcissist. That
makes you self-confident. If you want to be successful at anything in life,
you need to learn how to be more self-confident and have the right mindset. Making sure that you
are feeling good, and know that you matter is actually one of the most important steps
in negotiating on a successful basis, and getting what you want, and not just negotiating, but also
navigating your way in the world, having the right mindset. That's actually the M in my
matter method. In my book, Negotiate Like You Matter, I go through the methodology of how to
negotiate and M actually stands for my value is defined by me. Knowing what your value is and
defining your value is really, really critical, and that does not make you a narcissist.
That just makes you a human being. The way I look at it is I look at it as
a continuum. It goes all the way toward the end, and toward the end here's this person who is fully
one great big heart and then you go to the kind of the end of the continuum, and it's a person who
is just so broken inside that they feel so empty and such a shell that they have no
inner sense of value. I call them the hollow chocolate Easter bunnies. They look good on
the outside, but when you just poke a little bit, there's nothing going on inside, totally
hollow. They have no inner sense of value, so they have to extract all the value that they possibly
can from the world, from people around them. They try to get people to make them look good,
or they attach themselves to things that they think will make them look good, and then they
devalue people because they're trying to make themselves feel better. All that is wrapped up
in narcissistic supply. When you get to that end of the continuum, and you are at the pathological
level where somebody is a narcissist, they have no ability to have any care, compassion, love,
or empathy for the other person, and that's a big, huge part of a loving relationship, so you're
never going to feel fulfilled. You will never feel like that other person is truly caring about you.
They might say, "I care about you or whatever," but they don't actually have those feelings.
I highly recommend that you check out my video called What Does a Narcissist Mean When They Say,
"I love you?" and what are they really saying when they say that? Because there's a lot of
reasons that narcissists will say, "I love you." A lot of it is manipulative. I would definitely
check out that video to find out a lot more about what they're really saying when they say, "I love
you" to you, but do they really mean ...? Do they really love you? I think certainly a part of them
thinks that they do. They love what you can do for them. They love how you make them feel. They love
maybe the idea of a life together, but do they really, truly love you in this selfless sense,
is probably more than you might be able to ask from them because the problem with when
you're dealing with a narcissist is they feel like if they give anything to anyone else,
that that means that they won't have. It's a scarcity mentality to the most extreme.
If they give anything at all, a compliment, money, or adulation, or respect, or anything to anyone
else, that somehow that takes away from them. Even if they can be trained to say the right things,
and a lot of times they do know the right things to say because that's how they love bomb their
way into the relationship in the first place. If you want to know more about love bombing,
check out my video on love bombing. They know the right things to say, but wouldn't you rather be
with somebody who actually feels those things, who actually feels love, feels compassion, feels that
sense of caring for you in a way that they would give their life for you, that they care more about
you than they do about themselves? That's true love, and so that's what you should hold out for
for yourself because you definitely deserve it. If you just think that this is so sad,
give me a so sad in the comments because it really is so sad. They're very sad. They're very pathetic
and yes, we can have empathy for them. No, you can't fix them. I see all you empaths out there.
I see it, it's you right there. I see you, and you can't fix them. The problem is that yes, they were
broken as a child, but sometimes we as empaths, we tend to enable their behavior. We tend to
give excuses for them and some of it is because it maybe makes us feel better about the fact
that we're with this person. But sometimes it's also because you feel like in some way
you're being a good person by being with this person, and helping them, and not leaving them,
and understanding their behavior, and allowing them to treat you in a certain
way because they were broken, because they had a terrible childhood, because they were abused,
or something happened to them that was awful. Yes, all of that is terrible, but at some point
they become adults, and they have to take responsibility for their own behavior,
and you can't fix that. Do they truly love you? Not in the way that you want to be loved, not
in the way that you deserve to be loved. We, on this planet, we are all inherently valuable. We're
here to love each other. We're here to support each other. We're here to build each other up
Living in a space of scarcity, and living in a space of fear, and anger, and resentment,
and all of those things is not love. If you're with somebody who makes you feel bad,
who you're constantly crying, you're worried what they're going to do next, say next,
maybe that they're lying, that they're cheating, that they're going to ... You're walking on
eggshells because of how they may treat you if you say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing,
that's not love. That is not love, and so if you are in a position
to get out of this relationship, whether it's a romantic relationship, or a business relationship,
you should start taking the steps to go ahead and do that.
If you are not in that place, that's okay too. This is a judgment-free zone here.
We're just here to build you up and give you the steps to help you feel better,
to help you feel more empowered in whatever situation you're in, and wherever you are now
is the jumping off point. It's never too late. It is never too late. As long as you're still alive,
it is never too late, so you can start making your plans now to get out of this situation
if that is indeed what it is that you want to do. If you are getting ready to negotiate with
a narcissist, make sure to grab my free Crush My Negotiation Prep Worksheet. Also,
come join me in my free private Facebook group called Narcissist Negotiators with Rebecca Zung.
Come get the support that you need. If you liked this video, like it, share it, drop me a comment,
and make sure that you have subscribed to my channel so that you can get all the updates
on how to help yourself get out of this relationship. I am so glad that you stopped
by today. I'm Rebecca Zung. Remember, today is a great day to start negotiating your best
life. I will see you in the next video. This transcript was exported on Feb 10,
2021 - view latest version here. Loves Me, Loves Me Not (Can A Narcissist
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