- I've never almost stress-cried before,
but I'm very close!
We actually tried for months to find someone
who would let me walk in a plus-size runway show.
And one of the bigger problems we ran into,
besides that I'm not actually a plus-size model,
is that I'm too short.
I'm five foot three.
I think we're used to beautiful women being very tall.
So when we see shorter women doing something,
we're just like,
where did one third of you go?
I think it's gonna be awesome.
I think, if anything, I just want to prove publicly
that I am gonna be good at this.
(bright pop music)
- I saw that, I was like that's me!
That's my face!
So what are we gonna be doin' today?
- You're gonna get to put on your three looks.
We're gonna have our tailors pin them,
make sure they fit you perfectly.
- I have three looks!
- You have three looks.
- I didn't know!
- We're excited to show you what we've picked out for you.
- I'm excited too, let's do it!
(bright pop music)
- It's very intimidating,
to be changing while eight people
are waiting for you to get dressed.
Yes!
All of my girlhood dreams are coming true!
Look what this does!
- We're gonna need to do some to this jacket.
- Oh yeah, I have very short arms.
I feel like an American girl doll,
like in the best possible way.
After the fittings, I was feeling good.
We just left Torrid.
I love the outfits I got.
It's very intense.
You're in a room and there's just several people
who are focused exclusively on your body
and there is nowhere to hide!
And then on Friday we're coming back to do the runway show.
I am excited and terrified.
I'm excitified!
I walked out the door this morning
without remembering that a lot of people are gonna
see my underwear today.
So I had to go back, figure out what underwear I can,
like make peace with God about everyone seeing.
Turns out, not many pairs!
I felt pretty good going into this
and by the morning of my confidence
was swirling down the toilet.
I see the runway when we get there
and it's so long.
I feel like I shouldn't be allowed here.
To start the day, one of Torrid's brand ambassadors,
Georgina gave me some tips on how to walk the runway.
- Good morning, girls, I'm Georgina Burke
and I'm a Torrid brand ambassador.
This is a long runway, like full stop.
So you've gotta give energy from the minute you get on
to the end and back again.
Remember once you've got your garments on,
they're gonna be steamed and prepped,
no sitting down, you're now professional, you stand up.
And if your feet hurt, you suck it up.
Welcome to model school.
- Yay!
All the other girls I'm walking with,
are beautiful.
They are so tall.
They just wear clothes the way that you have always
wanted to wear clothes.
I stick out like a very short, strange thumb.
So I'm gonna be closing the show.
- Yeah.
- And at the end, in my last--
- By the way, that's the most important job.
You're the last memory they take away from that show.
- Oh!
- Usually at the end of the runway,
they'll be like a pit of cameras and you get blinded
and that's when the magic happens.
- So stressful!
It's like you're walking to your doom a little bit.
So many little things you can think about.
What do you do with your eyes?
What do you do with your hair?
What do you do with your hands?
- One thing you may want to watch is your arms.
Let's not swing them too much.
- So this is bad.
- So that's bad.
We're not going to the grocery store.
- A little happier in the face,
you look like you want to kill someone.
(laughter)
- We're walking into it, the T, turn.
That one you nailed.
- Awesome, I think we got this!
- Perfect.
- Then it was time for hair and makeup.
(bright pop music)
- I assumed that my hair would be long and curly
and luscious and big, 'cause I consider my hair
to be my best feature.
But then they told me they wanted to put it in a ponytail.
And I was very scared.
Ponytails make me very nervous!
I mean, I think that my anxieties about it probably kept me
from enjoying it as much as I could.
It really forced me to be like, okay here are my features.
And I have to like them whether I want to like them or not.
Oh boy!
That's crazy!
It's so pretty!
They also let me know
they wanted me to go without my glasses.
So both of my security items, completely gone.
(laughter)
- You're exposed!
- I'm very, I'm exposed to the elements!
I like to wear big glasses because I feel like my eyes sink
into my face.
That definitely is an anxiety of mine.
- Let's do some eyes then!
- Yay, eyes!
So for makeup, they gave me a really bold eye
and a basically nude lip,
which is the opposite of what I do.
You have to trust that people can see you
and see their vision on you
and that your insecurities don't really mean much
in the grand scheme.
Let's do it!
Let's see it!
Oh my god, love it!
This is awesome!
Hold on.
Yeah, this is awesome!
(laughter)
- Before the show, I start having a little meltdown.
Um, did not think that I would be this scared.
I am a little bit, though,
so cool!
Everybody in the environment was super positive
except for the little mean voices in my head.
I started thinking about like,
why did I think this was a good idea?
Could I possibly still get out of this?
Right before we went onstage,
I literally almost started to cry
and was like I can't cry.
My eye makeup will run everywhere.
Every step I took was like, don't cry.
Please don't cry.
It was the stress of just being there
and how loud it was and how like unprepared I felt
and how vulnerable.
I was just like, I can't cry, I can't cry, I can't cry.
I got off stage the first time and was like,
I think we should leave!
The first quick change went okay.
- You're all set.
- I definitely changed with plenty of time to spare.
Too late to go home right?
(cheers and applause)
- Okay.
I just thought I'd check.
(electronic dance music)
- A lot of it is letting the clothes do the work for you.
So I thought, I would just do this little unrehearsed spin
in the middle of the runway on the way back.
Usually I don't like to do things that I don't plan,
but this turned out okay.
And people liked it and they cheered.
I got one more, I can do this, guys.
I'm not about to cry anymore.
Distinct improvement.
(electronic dance music)
(applause)
(cheering)
- I'm like, actually crying!
- I don't know!
It was the relief of having done it.
My body literally quit and just started leaking.
- You okay?
- Yeah.
I went into this thinking that I was gonna be fine.
I did not expect that this required nerves of steel.
Yeah, I feel like I got knocked down a few pegs.
If you could walk a runway,
there's probably all sorts of things
that you fear that you can also do.