(Music)
What I was going to say is online dating.
You see I told you I won't like it,
but listen hear me out,
hear me out, all right.
If you are busy,
you don't have time to get out,
online dating is a way to
conveniently meet people
for people in your situation.
The problem is we have this
negative mindset on online dating.
People will say oh, well,
the men online only want to have sex.
Guess what? The men in the real world
want to have sex too.
Like, it ain't no different.
I don't understand,
why you're trying to make it seem like
it's this whole different world?
It's not.
The problem that I have found is
the average woman does not know
how to online date effectively.
Because most of you all
have one foot in the door, one foot out,
it's almost like
you did it as a last resort,
you did it because argh! I'm bored.
You're not actually committed to the process.
There's a way to effectively online date
and I'm going to give you all some tips.
Aha! To effectively...
(Laughs)
I'm going to help you all out.
Because I'm telling you, now,
let me just throw out this disclaimer.
Listen, it's not for everybody to jump online.
So, I always tell people pray and talk to God
because for some of you it may simply be
you need to walk in your purpose.
You'll be surprised
who you can meet
and what you come across
when you are walking in your purpose
and that may be where your partner is.
However, I do have clients
who I got them to go online
and they are married now,
they are engaged, all right.
So, it can work,
but everyone's path
is not through online dating.
So, always pray about these things, all right.
But let me give you out the tips.
So, tip number one,
smile in your profile picture, all right.
All this mean mugging
and trying to look sexy in your profile picture
it don't work.
If you mean mug, nobody wants to talk to you.
If you're trying to look sexy, you're going to
attract men who only want sex, all right.
And understand that smiling in general
is something that women should embrace more.
That gives off the right energy.
There's a study that shows
women are more attractive
when they smile, all right.
So, you want to make sure
you show the smile
in the profile picture.
It's very inviting, it makes you approachable.
Do not be wearing shades
in that profile picture.
And please do not use a picture
with a filter on it
in your profile picture, all right.
Some of you all go filter crazy
and the man don't know what
he's getting himself into.
No, nobody wants that,
nobody wants to be cat fished, all right.
Show your true genuine
smiling picture in the profile picture.
Number two,
you need to have at least
three to four pictures
in your profile gallery, all right.
The reason being, as I just said,
nobody wants to be cat fished.
If you ever go on an online dating site
and you saw a profile with one picture,
you don't trust it.
You immediately think something's wrong here.
And here's the funny thing,
if you're really good-looking
and you only have one picture
it's even more skeptical, all right.
So, you need to create
a level of security that says,
all right, this is who I am.
Have three to four pictures
that handles that part of it.
Number three,
at least one of those pictures,
has to be a full-body picture.
Let me explain.
We're not selling your body,
we're not selling sex.
However, we live in a world
where a lot of women have
mastered taking pictures at angles
that make their body look different
than what it really is, all right.
And that might sound cool
to some of you all.
The problem is
that you are false advertising
on this site.
Now, this man, all right,
and it can happen both ways,
it can happen both ways.
Two people go on this date,
thinking you look like this,
now you look like that.
Now this whole date goes left,
you all don't waste each other's time,
this ain't going nowhere,
why do that to yourself?
Show them exactly
what they're getting themselves into.
They either want it
or they don't, period, all right.
But the minute you start tweaking
how you actually look,
you are going to cause yourself problems.
Plenty of dates have gone left
because they saw something
different in person
than what they saw online.
So, at least one full body shot.
I need some water.
This thing got me choking up.
Thank you, sir. All right.
So, that was number three.
Number four,
keep your description simple, all right.
A lot of women,
want to write thesis statements
and all kinds of paragraphs
in their profile.
We ain't got time for all of that, all right.
We are not reading all of that.
It does not work to your advantage.
And when you're saying too much
you can come off very difficult
or too much to deal with.
Bullet points, all right.
I just want to say real quick.
Hold on.
Thank you.
Sorry for this you all,
I don't know what's causing this.
Can you open this for me.
Just pull one out for me
Thank you.
Say what?
(Laughs)
All right, so, yes,
no thesis statements,
no long-drawn out our paragraphs,
bullet points. Quick to the point,
makes it very easy for the men.
Now, if you're a man,
I would say, consider a paragraph
because women do like to read.
They do want to get
as much information as possible,
it makes them feel safer that they know
what they're getting themselves into.
So, there's a level of security that comes
with the extra information when you're a man.
When you're a woman,
it's tedious, it's too much,
we don't want to deal with it.
Number five,
speak in the positive not the negative.
A lot of you all go online dating
and it's I don't want this.
If you got this, don't come my way.
Don't talk to me about this,
I don't play with this...
Like stop. You sound so negative.
Like, speak in the positive.
I like this, I enjoy that,
this is what I'm looking for.
Positive energy goes a long way.
So, focus on that in your profile.
Two more things, one...
The next thing is
present your value.
People go on online dating
and they make it about what they're looking for, all right.
I want this, I'm looking for this, I want this.
But you're not telling people
why they should hit you up.
Why are you the valuable one?
Why of all these profiles
should I stop here
and give you my attention?
It's almost like,
online dating is like
shopping for a date, all right.
And just as you shop for anything else,
how you market your product
determines who will
buy that product, all right.
It may sound weird, but it is what it is.
So, you have to present your value
on online dating.
And I'm telling you this works
for both men and women.
Change that description
to present value
more than what you're looking for,
watch how much more messages
you start to receive, guaranteed.
And then the last thing is,
reach out to the men
if you're a woman.
A lot of women go on online dating
and they sit back.
And what you essentially do is
you sit back and wait for all the garbage
to come your way
and hope to sift through the garbage
to find your one diamond in the rough, all right.
That's tiresome,
you get worn down, it's exhausting.
You don't want to deal with that.
Put yourself in front of the men
you want to talk to.
And here's the great thing about us men,
we don't need much.
You can just say hello,
you can send a smiley face,
you can send a blank message, all right.
And if we like what we see,
we're going to respond,
we're going to be like, are you talking to us?
Was it for me? Like, somehow,
you've gotten our attention, that's all we need.
Now, when men message you,
we got to come up with a nice line,
we got to find a way to introduce us,
we don't need all that.
All we need is a hello
or a blank message, we're good.
So, just reach out to people.
Now, when they don't respond
don't take it personally.
Online dating sites,
I noticed for a fact,
I've actually been flown into one before
and shown all the back end stuff.
A lot of them leave old profiles up.
So, sometimes you're hitting up
people who's no longer on the site.
So, you're taking it personal
when you don't get a response back.
Don't take it personal, it's a numbers game,
it's okay.
Send out a hundred messages
see who hit you back.
Who cares? You know what I'm saying?
But that's how you can
better work the online dating system.
It can work for you,
but like I said in the beginning, pray about it.
(Music)