She grinds her teeth in her sleep now. It’s like lying next to a buzzsaw.
- Hanna, compassion. - I have it, just not in the morning.
All you ever gave me was a two-for-one at the Donut Hut.
Which I appreciated and I will give this to Emily when I see her at school.
I just think people make too much out of weddings in general. I mean, if it needs a tent it's a circus.
Says the girl who got up at 4 in the morning to watch the royal wedding.
- I had to pee. - For three hours?
So I know why I am not going to the college fair... Why aren't you there?
Because I went last year.
You've been probably going since middle school, right?
You know the Hastings motto: why enjoy today when you could be worrying about tommorow?
Miss Montgomery!
Have you considered Hollace college? They have a wonderful arts program
and I think you'll find the teachers are very hands-on.
And...
Aria?
Aria, wait.
- What's up? Are you mad at me? - No, I'm not mad at you...
I'm worried about us. I just feel like outside forces are kinda taking over.
- Forces? - People.
Aria, I don't know what else to tell you to prove that Jackie is not a threat.
You know what? You wouldn't know a threat if it sat on your lap and made you a gin and tonic.
What does that even mean?
So, what do you think?
- Hold on. Let me stop dry heaving first. - Ok, it's not that bad.
Kate Moss would look like a water buffalo in that. All you’re missing is cud.
I’m gonna pick out my college the same way I pick out my clothes: from a catalogue.
What are you doing? You are not starved, you just had a whole bowl of jelly beans.
- They were complementary. - We're not going.
What's a nice way to say someone's obsessive?
Look Hanna, the key to survival of any species is adaptability.
Well, when there’s a nuclear war, I guess it’s gonna be Mona and a million cockroaches.
- Spencer, do you... do you need a ride or something? - Um, I have to talk to you.
Ok, there's something I need to tell you but before I tell you that, there's something else that I have to tell you.
- Ok... - I know about you and Aria.
- Excuse me? - Ezra, you don't have... I'm sorry, Mr Fitz.
- Better... - Just listen to me: Aria is in danger.
- Hanna, maybe you're just not tying hard enough. - What?
Mona, how could you say that? I practically killed myself today, trying to make those girls like me.
Why should I even try at all? If it weren't for "Isa-hell" the skank, my mom would be with my dad right now, instead of home alone.
So Kate, her mom, and those little bitches can go to hell for all I care.
Hanna...
That's probably Aria.
And my guess is she has something that she wants to say to me.
If I'm not back in 5 minutes, send a rescue team.
- Hey. How is she? - She's shaking but she's still standing.
- What was I supposed to do? - I'm not mad at you.
- Really? - Yeah.
Good, 'cause I just did it because I was nervous and you're... you're really tiny!
- And I love you! - I love you too.
And besides... going to Fitz actually turned out to be a good thing. Made him step up.
Really? I'm so glad to hear that.
Don't be too happy. My mom thinks that you're the one who's hooking up with him.
Wait... what?
Hanna, did you not see this?
Is that you?
Yeah, of course it's me.
Well, unless your Aria's mom. Just assume it's Spencer. You know, sluttin' it up.
- They got a little girl's room here? - Yeah, it's just inside to the left.
Perfect. Hannie, come with. She'll be right back. I just need to wipe the dew from my lily.
Ok grandma, walking now!
- What does that even... - It doesn't matter.
I am now officially done eating... forever.
She shoved your head underwater and you still dated her? Girl, I came back just in time.
Seriously, you did.
Ok, so what do we do? - We go into terror alert red and hope that our phones don't ring.
That did not just happened.
I love you, but I haven't had the chance to talk to Maya... alone.
Oh, this is a date!
- It's fine... - It's not a date...
And I'm the clueless goober.
Look, I am really happy that you're back and I hope that we...
Ok, are those this season?
- We'll... talk later. - Sure, and I hope the wedding goes better than the rehearsal.
Well, I can't imagine how it can be any worse.
If we had our real baby, what would it look like?
I’m picturing a newborn with a six-pack.
- You don't think her ear is in here, do you? - Oh...
That’s a big box for an ear.
Wait...
Make Jackie go away.
Is there a creepier word than ‘creepy’?
So I'm gonna take a long hot bath and pretend for an hour that I'm the perfect parent.
I never actually known a guy who carried a hanky, so..
So I don’t really know what the protocol is... I don’t know if you want me to wash it first or just...
- That's a very handsome suit. - And that is a very pretty dress.
But you should know it gives you back fat.
What a shame. All that testosterone and not a sheep in sight.
Careful, Alison. I get your jokes, but someday you might meet a guy who doesn't.
You remember what I told you, right?
She's pretty ugly.
- How ugly is 'pretty ugly'? - Hedious. And don't even get me started on her big ass.
Em, you need to go talk to Ben.
What's going on?
He's been telling all of his guy friends that you guys had sex last weekend.
What?
Em, I will go over there with you. Let's shut this thing down right now!
Aria, don't!
Emily, you can't just ignore this!
Em...?
Oh my God!
- Is it true? - Wait, why didn't you tell us?
Tell us what?
Hey guys!
If you ignore it, it will go away.
Ben's telling people we had sex.
What?
- And he's still breathing because...? - It's true.
- I can't beleive Em lost her V before anyone of us did. - Why is it so hard to believe?
I didn't mean anything by it, I just thought you were a prude.
Shy on the streets, sexy in the sheets.
I knew there was something different about you.
Is the doctor in?
Actually, I’m a gynecologist. Care to make an appointment?
Hot chick, Britney, hot witch, an indian chick and uh...
Mary Queen of Scots.
- He doesn't know who that is. - Does anybody?
She was born to be queen but her cousin stole the throne and then she was accused of treason and her family had her executed.
Ok, I used to think that I was born in the wrong century but now that I’ve actually gone to the bathroom in this thing...
- Have you seen Ali? - Last I saw her she was at the bonfire.