RUSH
LIMBAUGH HAS A VERY INTERESTING, UNIQUE THEORY ABOUT LESBIAN
FARMERS.
BEFORE WE GET TO HIS THEORY, LET ME READ YOU WHAT
THIS IS ALL ABOUT.
IN THE MIDDLE OF AUGUST THEY HAD A SUMMIT --
LET ME HAVE SNOPES TELL YOU ABOUT IT BECAUSE THEY LOOKED
INTO THIS THEORY RUSH HAS.
ON 18 AUGUST THERE WAS AN EVENT CALLED
THE IOWA LGBT RURAL SUMMIT, THE PURPOSE OF WHICH WAS TO SHARE
INFORMATION RELATING TO POLICIES, PROGRAMS, AND
SERVICES THAT EXIST TO PROMOTE AND PROTECT LGBT RURAL
COMMUNITIES.
SO FAR THIS SEEMS PERFECTLY BENIGN, YOU HAPPEN TO
BE AN LGBT FARMER, HERE ARE THE PROGRAMS AVAILABLE TO YOU.
LET'S
LOOK AT THE SPECIFICS, THEY SAY AMONG THE TOPICS DISCUSSED WERE
RURAL HOUSING LOANS, COMMUNITY FACILITY GRANTS, AND BULLYING.
THE FIRST OF THOSE TWO ARE ENORMOUSLY STANDARD AND
AVAILABLE TO EVERYONE, YOU CAN GET RURAL HOUSING LOANS IF YOU
ARE GAY, STRAIGHT, BLACK, WHITE, DOESN'T MATTER.
COMMUNITY AND
FACILITY GRANTS, GRANTS AND FARMING, PEOPLE HAVE BEEN
COMPLAINING ABOUT FARMING SUBSIDIES FOR DECADES NOW, THAT
IS CERTAINLY AVAILABLE TO EVERYONE, I GUESS THE BULLYING
WOULD BE SPECIFIC TO THE LGBT COMMUNITY AND THEY WANTED TO
TALK THROUGH HOW THAT WOULD HAPPEN.
I DIDN'T KNOW THERE WAS
MUCH BULLYING ON THE FARMS, I DIDN'T KNOW FARMERS RAN INTO
EACH OTHER THAT OFTEN.
BUT IT SEEMS LIKE NORMAL, IN FACT QUITE
BORING, GET TOGETHER.
NO, ACCORDING TO THE RIGHT-WINGERS
THERE IS ENOUGH VARIOUS PLOT AFOOT.
FIRST THE RIGHT-WING
BLOGS PICK UP ON IT, ELIZABETH HARRINGTON FROM THE WASHINGTON
FREE BEACON STARTS THE CONSPIRACY THEORY.
SHE SAYS THE
ALL DAY SUMMIT WILL TEACH LESBIAN, AND THIS IS MY
FAVORITE, TRANSGENDER HILLBILLIES HOW TO GET SUBSIDIES
FROM THE GOVERNMENT LIKE RURAL HOUSING LOANS AND COMMUNITY
FACILITY GRANTS.
NOW, I DIDN'T KNOW THERE WERE LESBIAN FARMERS
BECAUSE I PUT NO THOUGHT INTO IT.
I'M SURE THERE ARE, OF
COURSE THERE ARE.
STRAIGHT FARMERS, GAY FARMERS, LESBIAN
FARMERS, JUST LIKE DOCTORS, LAWYERS, ETC.
I DON'T KNOW THAT
THERE IS A THING AS TRANSGENDER HILLBILLY, I DON'T THINK THAT'S
A THING.
BUT RUSH TAKES A LOOK AT THESE BLOGS AND GOES NO, NO,
YOU AMATEURS -- LET THE PROFESSIONAL IDIOT STEP IN HERE
AND SHOW YOU HOW TO CONCOCT A REAL ASININE CONSPIRACY THEORY.
GO.
WHAT THE POINT OF THIS IS IS NOT ABOUT LESBIAN FARMERS, WHAT
THEY ARE TRYING TO DO IS CONVINCE LESBIANS TO BECOME
FARMERS -- WHO SIT IN THERE AND LAUGH -- GO AHEAD AND LAUGH BUT
I'M TELLING YOU WHAT THEY ARE DOING, THEY ARE TRYING TO BUST
UP ONE OF THE LAST GEOGRAPHIC CONSERVATIVE REGIONS OF THE
COUNTRY, THAT'S RURAL AMERICA.
RURAL AMERICA HAPPENS TO BE
LARGELY CONSERVATIVE, RURAL AMERICA IS MADE UP OF
SELF-RELIANT, RUGGED INDIVIDUAL TYPES, THEY HAPPEN TO BE BIG
BELIEVERS IN THE SECOND AMENDMENT, SO HERE COMES THE
OBAMA REGIME WITH A BUNCH OF FEDERAL MONEY AND THEY ARE
WAVING AROUND, AND ALL YOU'VE GOT TO DO TO GET IT IS BE A
LESBIAN AND WANT TO BE A FARMER, AND THEY WILL SET YOU UP.
I'M
LIKE YOU, I NEVER BEFORE IN MY LIFE KNEW THAT LESBIANS WANTED
TO BE FARMERS.
I NEVER KNEW THAT LESBIANS WANTED TO GET BEHIND A
HORSE AND THE PLOW AND STARTED BURROWING, I NEVER KNEW IT, BUT
APPARENTLY ENOUGH MONEY CAN MAKE IT HAPPEN.
AND THE OBJECTIVE
HERE IS TO ATTACK -- THEY'RE ALREADY ATTACKING SUBURBS, AND
THAT HAS BEEN MADE PERFECTLY CLEAR BY WHAT HAPPENED IN
MILWAUKEE, AND THEY ARE GOING AFTER EVERY GEOGRAPHIC REGION
THAT IS KNOWN TO BE LARGELY CONSERVATIVE.
THEY NEVER STOP,
FOLKS.
THEY ARE CONSTANTLY ON THE MARCH.
CONSTANTLY ON THE MARCH.
THEY ARE LIKE, WE'VE GOT TOO MANY
LESBIANS IN THE CITIES, LET'S BRING THEM OUT TO THE FARMS AND
DESTROY THE FARMS.
FIRST OF ALL, THE SUMMIT HAPPENED IN DES
MOINES, IOWA.
IT'S NOT LIKE THEY WENT TO NEW YORK CITY AND SAN
FRANCISCO LIKE, LESBIANS, COME HERE, ANY TRANSGENDER
HILLBILLIES OUT THERE?
WE ARE ALL MOVING TO IOWA TO RUIN THEIR
CULTURE.
THEY'RE ALREADY IN IOWA, THEY HAPPEN TO BE LESBIAN,
I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY THERE ARE, I DIDN'T KNOW LESBIANS WERE
INTERESTED IN FARMING BUT THAT'S BECAUSE I DIDN'T PUT A SECOND OF
THOUGHT INTO IT, OF COURSE THEY WOULD BE BECAUSE THAT'S LIKE ANY
OTHER PROFESSION, THEY ARE LIKE ANY OTHER HUMAN BEINGS.
BUT HE
MAKES IT SEEM LIKE OBVIOUSLY LESBIANS ARE NOT GOING TO BE
INTO FARMING, THAT'S OBVIOUS, SO IT'S PART OF A GLOBAL CONSPIRACY
TO TAKE AWAY THE SECOND AMENDMENT?
WAIT, WHAT?
HOW DID
THE SECOND AMENDMENT GET INTO IT.
IF YOU ARE WONDERING IF
THERE'S A SCINTILLA OF EVIDENCE INTO THESE WILD THEORIES ABOUT
HOW THEY ARE TRYING TO SEDUCE LESBIANS INTO BECOMING FARMERS,
AND SECOND AMENDMENT RIGHTS, AND ALL THAT OTHER -- AND OF COURSE
THE SUBURBS HAVE ALREADY BEEN DESTROYED, EVERYONE KNOWS, LOOK
AT MILWAUKEE.
WHAT ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT?
SNOPES LOOKED
INTO IT, OF COURSE THERE IS NO EVIDENCE.
ALL THERE WAS WAS AN
INCREDIBLY BORING SUMMIT PUT TOGETHER BY THE DEPARTMENT OF
AGRICULTURE IN THE MIDDLE OF IOWA FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE ALREADY
FARMERS, TO EDUCATE THEM ON WHAT THINGS THEY HAVE AVAILABLE TO
THEM, WHAT PROGRAMS THEY HAVE, LIKE EVERYONE ELSE IN THE
COUNTRY.
NO, REALLY, YOU'VE GOT TO UNDERSTAND SOMETHING, THESE
RIGHT-WINGERS -- CUCKOO FOR COCOA PUFFS.
THEY DON'T LIVE IN
THE REALITY-BASED WORLD.
YOU KNOW WHY?
BECAUSE THEY DO
CONSPIRACIES, THEY COVER THINGS UP, THEY HAVE BEEN INTENT, SO
THEY ASSUME EVERYONE ELSE HAS BAD INTENT, THEY ASSUME LIBERALS
ARE ALSO HATCHING CONSPIRACIES.
SO THEY ARE LIKE, WHAT WOULD WE
DO?
WE WOULD RECRUIT LESBIANS TO DESTROY THEIR CULTURE.
I BET
THEY ARE DOING LIKEWISE!
NO, THERE IS NO SUCH THING.
I KIND
OF FEEL SORRY FOR THEM, BECAUSE THEY'VE GOT TO LIVE INSIDE THEIR
OWN HEADS.
WE CAN LOOK AT IT FROM THE OUTSIDE AND LAUGH, BUT
RUSH LIMBAUGH HAS TO LIVE WITH THAT MIND FOR HIS WHOLE LIFE.
THAT POOR SUMBITCH.