- Depersonalization sufferers are always asking me
for some of my favorite tips on dealing with the condition.
So today, I'm going to show you a great way
of thinking about DP/DR
and all of the fears and worries that come with it
that will give you a great new perspective on it
and be super helpful in your recovery.
Hey everyone, I'm Shaun O Connor,
author of The Depersonalization Manual.
I suffered with chronic depersonalization disorder
for two years before I recovered completely.
And in the more than 10 years since then,
my book, The Depersonalization Manual
has helped thousands of people around the world to recover
from depersonalization disorder.
And today,
I'm going to give you one of my favorite recovery tips
for dealing with depersonalization and derealization.
Let's get started.
(lighthearted music)
Please note that everything in this video
refers to depersonalization and derealization disorder
or DP/DR.
So if you've been experiencing
more derealization than depersonalization, don't worry,
this video applies 100% to you too.
So one of the most common experiences reported
by DP sufferers
is the constant worry that DP
might actually be something else
or that it could turn into something worse.
This was certainly a part of my experience.
During the two years that I had depersonalization,
I was at different times convinced
that I had schizophrenia, dementia,
psychosis, brain damage, brain cancer,
Alzheimer's, amnesia, and multiple personality disorder,
to list just a few.
You name it, at some point,
I was 100% sure that I either had it or was developing it.
And every time I had that thought, it was terrifying.
But of course,
I didn't actually have any of those conditions.
And looking back on it now with years of recovery behind me,
it's actually quite interesting
to see why I thought those things.
I'm not a medical health professional,
but I do know that with schizophrenia, for example,
there are very clear and distinct symptoms
associated with that condition,
symptoms that are quite recognizable,
so recognizable in fact,
that any doctor would recognize them quite quickly.
And not just psychologists and psychiatrists,
but regular GPS and primary care physicians.
Not only that, but family and friends
would almost certainly spot them too.
In my case, when I spoke to doctors and psychologists,
they weren't seeing any symptoms of schizophrenia.
In fact, they weren't seeing any symptoms
of any of the conditions that I was so concerned about.
But did that calm me down?
Not at all.
The anxiety and fear just kept going.
And not only was I sure
I was going to get all of these conditions,
but I was also 100% certain
that I was going to do something terrible.
I thought I might hurt myself or hurt someone else.
For example, I was absolutely sure that my DP and anxiety
would cause me to lose consciousness
or lose control of my body.
And if this happened while driving, for example,
I would likely crash into a crowd of people,
then drive over a cliff, and die in a massive explosion.
I catastrophized all the time
that awful things like this would happen.
I would go crazy.
I would develop some horrific condition
or I would lose control and hurt myself or somebody else.
But here's the interesting thing
and a great way to think about
what's really happening with DP.
Because when you're actually going through anxiety and DP,
it can be very difficult to look at it objectively.
Why?
Because you're seeing everything
through the lens of anxiety, even the anxiety itself.
But now that I've been recovered for many, many years,
I can look back on my time with anxiety and DP
from a much more objective point of view.
And from that point of view,
what's the worst thing that happened to me
in all of my time with anxiety and DP?
Not what I was worried or convinced was going to happen,
but what's the worst thing that actually happened to me
in all of my time with anxiety and DP?
And the answer is panic attacks.
I had panic attacks, and that's it.
Now don't get me wrong, panic attacks are deeply unpleasant,
but they're also extremely common,
they're caused by anxiety,
they're temporary, and they're harmless.
Did any of the scary things actually happen?
Of course they didn't.
None of those things even came close to happening.
Everything else I was worried about,
all the existential and intrusive thoughts,
all the conditions I was sure I had or was going to develop,
none of them happened.
Why?
Because the clue is in the question.
I was worried about these things happening,
But that worry was not based on any evidence,
it was based on anxiety,
just like the feeling of depersonalization itself
and just the same as with all anxiety-based conditions.
We worry that what we are experiencing
is terrible and dangerous,
even though there's no evidence
that that's actually happening.
But anxiety isn't interested in evidence.
Anxiety is interested
in jumping to the worst possible conclusions at all times.
Now, if you're in a mortal danger situation,
that could save your life,
but it's less useful
when you're trying to make sense of anxious thoughts
that you're experiencing while driving to the shops
or watching your favorite TV show.
But what you'll see as your recovery begins
is that you actually have control over that anxiety.
As strange as it may seem,
you've always had control over it.
You can turn down the volume on the anxiety
and very soon, turn it off completely.
And when you do, all of the symptoms that came with it,
including the feelings of DP,
the baseless fears
of developing all sorts of other conditions
will all fade away and stop too
as if they had never been there.
And you'll see from an objective point of view
that despite all the fear and catastrophizing
that came with the condition, in all likelihood,
the very worst thing that happened to you in all that time
was panic attacks.
That's all,
harmless, temporary panic attacks.
Developing that strong, objective point of view
is such a wonderful and positive part of recovery.
And remember,
no matter how long you've had DP or what caused it,
you can and will recover 100%.
What about you?
What are your favorite tips for dealing with anxiety and DP?
Make sure to let me know in the common section below
If you want tons more tips and tricks like this,
make sure to head over to my website at dpmanual.com
where you'll find everything you need to know,
including my complete guide to recovery,
The Depersonalization Manual.
The Depersonalization Manual package
contains hours of exclusive video and audio content
not available anywhere else online
and you can download
and access the files on any device instantly.
Don't forget to subscribe to my YouTube channel.
And if you've found this video helpful,
please do like and share.
Thanks for watching.
(lighthearted music)